(Olympic Hockey) LIVE BLOG, Tiger Woods Press ConferenceShareThis
LIVE BLOG starts a few paragraphs below, skip on down if you don’t care about my thoughts on Olympic hockey. I don’t blame you if you don’t. I barely do.
Resuming a debate from yesterday: If you were a GM building a team, would you rather have Rick Nash or Ilya Kovalchuk? Tough call right? Nash is a handful out there man, I certainly don’t envy d-men trying to stop him. I feel like he gets 10 chances to Kovalchuk’s one, but Kovalchuk buries his like he’s hiding a dead body.
So, Canada struggles against the Swiss (who, you would assume, DOMINATE the neutral zone). I DVR’ed the game and chucked it on again when Bri went to bed to see what I could see.
I saw Canada looking just fine. They created a ton of chances, and really, the Swiss didn’t have many of their own (though I would’ve liked to see their first goal, THANKS CNBC for rolling out your newest hockey coverage feature, COMPLETELY ARBITRARY COMMERCIAL BREAKS. Now seems like a good time, sell the people some detergent.
What that game did do, was make the Canada/US game that much more exciting for me. The way the tournament format works, those top four spots are crucial, and both teams could still easily grab one. And while we were floundering against the Swiss (again), it wasn’t like the US was running through Norway (until the end). But then, I know, it’s kinda hard to when you know you can win in autopilot. Plus, Norway has TORE VIKINGSTAD, so they’ve got that goin’ for them.
But hockey isn’t the big news story of the day. Tiger is. And what you don’t need, is some media outlets moralistic view of what Tiger needs to do to make amends for being a slimy scuzzbucket. What you need is the view of Bourne’s Blog - all the guy is to me is an entertainer, and that’s what he’s going to do again. So take the stage Tiger, and dance, playboy, dance!
TIGER WOODS LIVE BLOG PRESS CONFERENCE
Alright, first note – if Tiger says he won’t play in the Masters, the live blog immediately ends so I can shatter the nearest glass and eat the shards.
Tiger’s therapy called for a week off, which is why he’s doing the press conference today. So yeah, it has nothing to do with taking away eyes from the tournament being sponsored by the same people who just dropped him from their sponsorship list. Seriously.
And the last note before we get underway, is yes, I realize this is lowest common denominator stuff. But let me have this. Sometimes it’s fun to live down to the title “blogger”.
8:35: ESPN has the ghost of Rick Reilly chime in on his thoughts about Tiger. The guy looks like all that rain in Vancouver actually did soak his skin to a wrinkly, pruny mess. Sor-ee, Rick.
8:55: Tiger has serious security detail with him. There’s three dudes with guns, and Elin with a nine iron.
8:56: As Justin_Stangel tweeted, the official press conference rules are as follows: No multiple cameras, no questions and no fat chicks.
8:59: Did you hear that Phil Mickelson called Elin Nordegren? He asked her for some tips on beating Tiger. (Ahhh, what a gold mine of material. Thanks Tiggs)
9:00: Just had this one sent to me: “The police asked Tiger’s wife how many times she hit him. “I can’t remember,” Elin said, “just put me down for a 5.”
9:03: This feels 100% like an SNL skit. LIVE FROM NEW YORK, ITS SATURDAY NIGHT!
9:05: Oh wow, this is actually really sad.
9:06: Wait, no it isn’t. Did he just remind us of his charity work? Holy crap Tiger, you really missed the mark with the “I’m actually still great” hint.
9:08: Okay, it’s funny again. Thanks for this one:” Tiger’s other women aren’t mistresses. They’re provisionals.”
9:10: It wouldn’t have killed the guy to give this a run-through in the mirror once or twice, hey? Did he get to see the script before they turned the cameras on for his monologue?
9:11: Why do I feel like I’m being scolded? Great point by Josh in comments – he should just put a ball down on a tee and swing. I’d golf clap and forget this speech ever happened.
9:13: I’m boggled that people can talk this long without making an actual point.
9:14: Buddhism! Yes! What a twist! Tiger’s a big fan of rubbing belly’s, apparently.
9:15: HOW DID HE NOT WEAR RED FOR THE BIGGEST MOMENT OF HIS CAREER?
9:16: Therrreee’s the orchaestrated tears. I thought we’d see more of those.
9:18: Tiger hugs his old college teammate, who knows he’s crying because now he actually only gets one woman for the rest of his life. Tiger sobs “I’m just too famous to get … sob… away now.”
9:20: No mention of the Masters, but a mention of Buddhism. I did NOT see that coming. Aight, I’m out people. What’d you think?