Off-Speed Pitches
Posted by jtbourne on May 18, 2009 · 18 Comments
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First, thanks to Hardcore Sports on Sirius 98 for including me in today’s conversation. Looking forward to doing it again sometime soon, it was fun.
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On the heels of a borderline intelligent post, let’s bring this blog back to reality. Some crucial business:
The Nintendo Wii: Is the point to come full-circle so I’m actually just playing tennis? They’ve added some new feature with a gyroscope that tracks your movements better so your character does exactly what you do on-screen. What’s the deal here people?
In a few years they’re going to add the feeling of a ball hitting a racquet, that way we’ll be able to have all the benefits of playing tennis, while still not having to socialize with anyone. Congrats on the… progress?
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I think yuppies get a bad rap.
That, or I’m on my way to becoming one. My point is this – I really like nice things. Don’t you?
It would be hard to go back to driving my Geo Tracker now that I drive an Altima Coupe. I don’t think I could go back to drinking six dollar whiskey now that I’ve had Crown Royal. The only leap I haven’t made is to a fancy phone, and it’s an inevitable jump I can’t wait to make.
So maybe I won’t need to part my hair at the side, change my name to Chet and rock sweater-vests, but if loving nice stuff is in Yuppieville, then pack the U-Haul and change my zip code.
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I gotta show the Toronto Blue Jays some love.
The boys just dusted up the White Sox for a little sweeparoo, and have officially sent me into the Canucks realm of “this is going to be really disappointing when it doesn’t pan out”.
That damn division is stupid strong, but at 27 – 14, this group of shouldn’t-be’s look like a finely tuned group of actually-are’s. Let’s hop on Sniders back and ride these guys all the way to the soul-crushing defeat at the hands of the Skankees in September!
Oh, and PS, the Mets are leading their division too. No big deal. Everybody remain calm. 
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Reliever Will Ohman made this hilarious comment about the recent female-fertility-drug-bust of teammate Manny Ramirez: “For a guy going into his second trimester, he looks great. He’s barely showing”.
Hilarious.
My interview today was about athletes and how limited they are in what they’re allowed to say, with me preaching that they need more leeway. Then, my favourite talk sports show, Pardon The Interruption, posed the question “Fair or Foul” on the comment. I was disappointed, until they answered, by praising the humour in it. I love you more each day, PTI.
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Science time! Why do frozen perogies not float? Cooked perogies float. Ice floats. But frozen perogies don’t?
Explain (and show your work).
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So, between re-locating, house-buying, job-hunting, and working towards the Hockey Greats Fantasy Camp, I’m a little occupado (as is the misses, who’s also finishing her Masters).
Why I continue to spend time blogging, I’m not sure – so thanks for justifying it with your support, and further feeding my narcissism. Hits continue to increase!
Enjoy Pens-Carpetbaggers tonight, I’ll break it down tomorrow!
I'm a hockey player turned writer. After playing for Alaska Anchorage in the WCHA (NCAA), I carried on with an NHL tryout (New York Islanders in 2007) before spending a couple seasons in the AHL/ECHL (last year was 2008-09). My father, Bob Bourne, won four Stanley Cups with the Islanders in the '80's, as did my fiancee's dad, Clark Gillies. I'm now the web editor for theScore's hockey blog "Backhand Shelf."
JBourne you should see if you can get a copy of the interview (if they even record them) and post it on here for those of us who do not and cannot get Sirius. Word.
Can do bud – the producer is sending me an MP3 version that I can post on the blog. But, if I listen to it and sound like a tool, he “never sent it to me”.
Pierogies are Polish. No further explanation required!
Hahaha! Come on man you are witty! I watched a Coach Shyiak Show (the JPC department does a weekly Coach Shyiak Show that shows to 4 people on GCI channel 1) clip that I was a year ago and I was awesome. I wanna hear a clip of my boy all grown up and doing radio now!
Don’t get too excited about the Mets. I’m waiting for the September collapse again so my Phils can sweep in and steal the division (again).
I don’t know about everyone else, but I’m glad you keep blogging. It’s one of my few must-reads. And your latest twitter thing on the side there – that’s a good reason why. I laughed out loud. Thanks!
wish i could have heard your interview… such an interesting topic and I would have loved to here what you thought about it!
buuut little tidbit about the bruins and whyyy we might have had a little more trouble then we were suppose to do… half of our team (literally like 9 guys had some serious injuries) Chara had a should injury, kobasew had broken ribs, kessel had a rotator cuff injury, krejci had a hip injury that he had since training camp, lucic had a toe injury, recchi had SURGERY to remove a kidney stone the day before game 7, savard had a knee injury, and then the ones we knew with ference and hunwick with groin and spleen injures respectively. Im not working excuses for the bruins… buuut these injuries are all to big parts of our team and its legit to look at..
Ahhh, the Ukranian side of my family was let off the hook by your Polish bashing. Thanks. Silly Poles.
You’re almost banned for rubbing salt in my never-healed Mets wounds. I still can’t believe the PHILLIES are world series champs.
The interview may end up on the blog just yet.
As for the B’s, um, those sounds like fairly credible excuses. It really puts playoff hockey in perspective. Sometimes it doesn’t come down to the better team, just healthiest, which involves a lotta luck. Better luck next year Bruins!
I thought I lead a busy life! You give me a good run for my money. You’re summer sounds as busy as mine.
Hopefully you’ll keep blogging, because I really enjoy your writing and your sense of humor.
Good luck with the re-locating, house hunting, job hunting and wife thing. I must have missed something. Did you get married already? If so, much happiness and congratulations to you both.
Mr. Bourne,
Love the blog, gets me out of bed everyday. As die-hard Sioux fan it is great to see you recognize and appreciate the WCHA and college hockey in general. You are a brilliant writer who can put an extremely witty thought into text. Keep up the good work and on the my point.
Dont get to excited over the Blue Jays ( I know you won’t, its baseball) but note that between the Yankees, Red Sox, and Devil Rays they are just 1-2. I think they have like 50 some games left against the top division foe, season is young and juicy. (pun intended)
Ugh. I hate how willing I was to buy into “here-come-the-Jays” rhetoric. I was totally unaware their schedule was that lop-sided.
The good news is, all they can do is beat who they play, and it’s still a great start. Thanks for the kind words, and for taking me down a few pegs. Go Mets?
Aww don’t ban me. Having spent my entire life as a Philadelphia fan (well except the Eagles & Sixers – not a fan of either sport), I still can’t believe the Phillies are the World (blanking) Champions, either.
Hey you have ammo against me… You’re a Jays fan. Joe Carter, anyone?
Ha, I actually almost made a Mitch “Wild Thing” Williams joke, but you guys are the defending champs, and the Mets have ate it two years in a row. I felt your bad bullpen pain, so I didn’t say anything.
I keep meaning to mention how much I enjoy your blog; it’s insightful and witty with some silly thrown in for fun. (I can’t get enough of nannerpuss either)
You are so right about the blandness of the typical hockey player interview. Say what you want about players like Avery and Ovechkin, but they get media attention and that is what the game needs.
There must be some way to maintain the concept of the “Gentleman Hockey Player” with their suit and tie and polite sportsmanlike responses and still add some spirit, frankness and coolness without going over to the Dennis Rodman dark side.
P.S. My old roommate’s uncle was Hunky Bill. Every Canadian remembers the Hunky Bill’s Perogie maker commercials. ( http://hunkybills.moonfruit.com/ ) He taught me to put a few strips of bacon in a pan over med/low heat and once there is a little grease, add the perogies and fry them slowly, you can also add onions. Keep the head medium low otherwise the perogie dough will become tough. This way you, you avoid all the math calculating perogie buoyancy quotients and you get to eat perogies. Did you know Hunky Bill got his start as a sports reporter?
Hey, perogie cooking advice (piergoi, pierogy, petahet, whatever) is always welcome. Hunky Bill’s a funny claim to fame.
By the way, that’s another reason I love Guerin – he’ll let you know when stuff sucks, but in a classy way.
please dont stop blogging anytime soon! I dont have a computer at home anymore so its become part of my routine when i get to work, before we open to log on to read your blog…and i had some reading to do when i got back from my four day vacation to the kootenays! keep up the good work
on the B’s
That Recchi is tough as really tough nails ain’t he. I mean,.. Kidney stones… Man that hurts…
I’ve had a bone marrow puncture and would not stand up, but skating with frikking kidney stones, neve rmind getting a bodycheck. . .