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One Night in Vegas

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So, I need better (or more) sites to read for sports info and entertainment, so I’m soliciting your advice – what are your “must-hits”? 

Why isn’t there a less-pc ESPN?   I’d love to have the information of ESPN, but without the politically correctness of a major news station.  Just a bunch of guys who can deliver news articles with headings like “Kurt Warner is playoff hero, douche bag.”

In fact, I wouldn’t even need actual sources.  I’d like to read someone who takes every ESPN article, and the second it comes out, funnies it up.  It’s sports, not CNN fellas.

CC Sabathia signs 165 million dollar contract, receipt at Krispy Kreme.

*****

So, I went to VEEEEGAAAAAAS! this past Thursday night, one night only.

The miles you put on in Vegas is breathtaking.  I literally wore through my sandals when I was there with Bri, and would have done the same this time if the new ones weren’t the type where they pour cheap rubber into a mold - they end up lasting for ALL ETERNITY because there’s no fabric on them.

This happens because you can’t just stay at one place.  Staying at one place in Vegas would be like going to Vegas and only seeing one place.  It’d be really, really like that.

So like the Jay Z song, you’re “on to the next one, on to the next one”.  And of course, Vegas is unlike anywhere in the world in terms of cost range.  You can do it on the cheap, or you can do it on the HOLYCRAPLOOKHOWRICHIAM, which is a slightly different level.

Bri and I were patient.  We’d hunt down the cocktailer (remember the Friends where Joey thinks it’s normal for his tailor to move his junk from side to side to measure his inseam?  He was a different type of cocktailer), get in front of her, put a buck in a slot machine and order two beers.  “We’re playing, see?”  Buck in the slot, two to the girl = three bucks, two beers and the chance to win something (you drink free when gambling, if you didn’t pick that up).

Thursday night, we were a little more rushed, so we just stopped by one of the mid-casino bars.  Two shots.  Two beers.  38 dollars.  BEFORE TIP.  What’s worse, is that no lube was provided.

As you can imagine, the morning after a Vegas evening feels a little like fighting one of those Mexicans boxers in the 103 pound weight class, where you never really get knocked out, but you JUST. KEEP. GETTING. HIT.

My morning after involved sitting at an RV auction where the auctioneer JUST. KEPT. TALKING. and the lady acknowledging bids just straight yelled.  Hangover worst-case-scenario.  I guess I deserved it.

*****

With my fiance gone, I find myself doing shit I don’t even like doing, cause this is my big chance, y’know?  Like not making the bed or doing the dishes, when in reality, I love a clean kitchen and tidy bed.  I’m leaving clothes around just because, as a male, I feel obligated to.  I dunno.  I’m not sure what I’m trying to prove here.

*****

Now’s the time to sign up for the Hockey Greats Fantasy Camp if you’d like to save yourself some dough.  Check out www.bournevents.com.

*****

And last for this morning — I’ll be on MSG+ this Thursday when the Devils take on the Coyotes, between the second and third periods.  Strong chance I heap praise on both teams, then launch a verbal blitzkreig at Jovonovski for being a crappy, cheap excuse for a defenseman. 

Comments

11 Responses to “One Night in Vegas”
  1. Char says:

    You’re probably already aware of him, and it’s not really a site for “info” per se, but nobody makes me laugh harder than poor Leafs fan Steve Daigle:

    http://www.youtube.com/user/SteveDangle#p/u

    And when it comes to baseball and general musings on life, Joe Pos is the best:

    http://joeposnanski.com/JoeBlog/

    The greatest place for “funnies it up” was, of course, the late, lamented Fire Joe Morgan. The archives remain, however:

    http://www.firejoemorgan.com/

    You have certainly confirmed my notion that Las Vegas is the absolute last place on earth I would ever want to visit. I think I’d rather take a vacation in Angola.

  2. Maria says:

    okay so this site isn’t about all sports…mainly just boston sports…buut its exactly what you are talking about when telling the sports stories with some good bar-like commentary… you might like…oh and u can get to the new york one from this site too..

    http://boston.barstoolsports.com/

    enjoy. ohh and there are lots of random stories on there no sport related at all haha but its funny

  3. Brianna says:

    clean up your shit. and the bathroom.. im sure its been a straight up MESS since ive been gone.
    <3

  4. jtbourne says:

    I also haven’t shaved, which isn’t as cool as it sounds. It’s itchy and gross-looking. But youuuuu can’t make me shave it.

  5. St. Cloud Gopher says:

    A reprimand on the comment section? Love it.

    Another suggestion for Joe Posnanski, as mentioned above. Mostly about baseball, and, at least until his recent move to SI.com, mostly about the Royals. But, and I have yet to hear/read an argument otherwise, the Poz is the best sports writer in the country. There is no one else in sports nation that can simultaneously back up your own view while making you question why you think what you do. He is a wizard.

  6. karlooch says:

    Vegas is just plain tiring. I lived there for 3 years and although I would not trade in those years it did wear out a heck of a lot more than some sandals…ha. Now I go once in awhile but we just enjoy the restaurants and golf courses and leave the strip assault to you young bucks. You better clean your shit up or she is gonna knock your ass out.

  7. Neil says:

    I’ll second Char’s link to Steve, love that guy.

    Angus probably won’t want to plug his own site here but I will happily do it, Dobber hockey has a great collection of guys that know their hockey, sports betting, and fantasy. The Daily Ramblings are worth a daily look.
    http://www.dobberhockey.com

    Between you, dobber, puck daddy, and the hockey news, that’s about it for me.

  8. Jbrown says:

    I like http://withleather.uproxx.com/ for all my sports related snarkiness (aside from y’know, this place)

  9. Steve C. says:

    Blog Bitching…OUCH…that’s just not fair!

  10. Corkdork says:

    fark.com has a sports tab that’s pretty good for snarky sports headlines (eg, “Milwaukee Bucks coach Scott Skiles hospitalized for heart problems, presumably due to witnessing the last 34 games the Bucks have played,” and “Recently canned Seattle Seahawks coach Jim Mora has a few pleasant on-air words for incoming coach Pete Carroll. And by “pleasant”, I mean that he calls him a cheater.”). It’s not comprehensive, but the humor can be biting and great.

  11. Rik says:

    Just cuz I love the WCHA, ND Sioux, and Hockey in General.
    http://ndgoon.blogspot.com/

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