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Letter to the Boys at UAA



New Hockey Primetime: Most people are physically built to best play a particular role.  Don’t try to fight it, just work on enhancing it.


We’re gonna do something different, something fun today.

I was asked by my bud Donald Dunlop of UAA Fanblog (check it out if you like college hockey, great blog) to write something that I would say to the players on my alma mater before their NHL Network televised game versus Wisconsin this weekend, given that the last time UAA beat Wisco, apparently I scored the game winner (2006). 

So I did.

The boys are hot lately, nearly sweeping CC and St. Cloud over consecutive weekends, so this is a big weekend for them in the standings.

If you don’t like when I curse, today’s not your lucky day.  I wrote it like they’d be the only players to read it, sooooo, yeah.  Take that for what it’s worth. 

Also, it wouldn’t hurt for you to be aware that that’s how I actually talk when I talk to my guy friends, so quit being so naive.


To the current UAA Seawolves:

Fuck Wisconsin.

Not the entire state or anything, just their oh-so-prestigious hockey program.  (Sorry for the hostility, but they really were condescending about our little hockey program up there in Alaska during my playing days.)

I’m guessing they still think you and your program are a joke.  And that’s a pretty easy guess to make. 

They think you’re an easy weekend on the schedule where they can lean on the talent of their highly touted recruits and walk through another four point weekend against the ‘Wolves.

Well fuck those entitled pricks. 

We managed to take them down my rookie year in the playoffs, in the Kohl Center, when it counted.  They slept on us because we weren’t as good as them talent-wise, and they’re likely doing the same with your crew.  No offense, but they’re probably right about the talent thing - admitting that isn’t a bad thing, it brings about awareness.  You’re gonna have to outwork and outsmart them.

And, you should probably out-hate them too, which shouldn’t be too hard since, as I mentioned, they probably don’t give a fuck about you.

The truth is, the talent gap between the country’s elite programs and rising ones like UAA isn’t that big.  After my class left UAA, we battled against the top players from college in the professional ranks, and I learned something – the guys who’re the best players at your level are still the best players at the next one.  But the rest of those guys were just eating off the top dogs, getting inflated stats, swollen heads and bad attitudes. 

As in, the Phil Kessel’s and Joe Pavelski’s from college are still Phil Kessel/Joe Pavelski good in the NHL, but most of their cronies that were feeding off them?  They just weren’t anything special.  And MAN did they all think they were.  So take them down a fucking peg or two.

They’ve got their fancy rink and their program has a great history, but those kids weren’t a part of any of it.  That current roster of theirs has combined for no more national championships than yours.

It’s healthy to respect another team’s talent-level, but in no way do you have to respect those entitled kid’s acting like they’ve accomplished fuck all.

College hockey is ridiculously fun – you have five days between games to commit to whatever you want, and that won’t happen at any other level than this one.  So when it’s actually a rare game day, pour it on, fuckers.    

Anyway, your game is on the NHL Network this weekend, and I’ll be watching.

Score me some goddamn goals.


24 Responses to “Letter to the Boys at UAA”
  1. Matt says:

    Could just be my colour blindness talking, but those are mighty ugly uniforms. (The white ones are better though.)

    Get much skiing done when you were up in Alaska Justin?

  2. Sherry says:

    Goddam Bourney – you’ve got me fired up!

    My housemate Heather’s dad went to Wisconsin, so, all things considered, I would tend to root for Wisconsin (or MSU, Heather’s alma mater, or RMU who are climbing onto the map) – but fugghedaboudit, I’m Alaska Seawolves all the way now! And just why are they called Seawolves anyway (Heather and were wondering that last night)?

    I’ve already fired off this column to her and let her know I’m all about the Wolves.

    Oh and, one more thing – do ya think you could add a point to Sid’s Quote Loser total as he showed some real emotion in his response to “Douchie’s” comments?

    Go Wolves!

  3. Sherry says:

    Oh and – good work on the Hockey Prime Time piece too. Good stuff.

  4. Deirdre says:

    No need to apologize, that sounds just exactly like I’d expect you to sound when you’re not making nice for mass media.

    I hear all the time about Michigan vs Michigan State, but I’m with Sherry – ALL fired up about the Wolves now!

  5. AiH says:

    Holy fuck I’m ready to put my elbow in Bucky Badger’s face!

  6. Cory says:

    Sherry, there actually is a fish called the sea wolf but I believe the name actually comes from the Orca. There is an old legend that the first Orca was a supernatural white wolf that went into the sea and transformed itself into the Orca.

    Bourne, awesome speech and I hope UAA kicks some Badger tail all over the ice.

  7. David C Speedy says:

    Nice Write up Bourne, I hope some of the guys read this and take it to bucky this weekend.


    and in answer to whoever asked why we are called seawolves here’s a link for ya.

  8. Bourno,
    Thanks very very much. It has exceeded my expectations. I don’t know why that is. I should have expected something this awesome. Now I’m going to copy/paste that whole bad muthafucka onto my blog.

    If anyone get’s the chance head over to my blog during the game where I’ve got a loyal Colorado College fan hosting a live chat during the game.

    Thanks again Justin. Keep on “reprezentin”! That’s a word from your generation right?

  9. Mike says:

    Fuck yeah! I only wish I could use that for my daughter’s recitals this weekend. Maybe I will anyway.

  10. Sherry says:

    Thanks much for the Seawolf info guys. Loving the community support for UAA here!

  11. Chris says:

    Longtime reader, first time commenter,

    Awesome as always Justin, except that you have totally ruined that game for me.

    I was all fired up to see my Ducks’ prospects Jake Gardiner and Nick Schultz for the first time this year with Wisconsin and now I’m soooo torn!

    Plus I’m going to the Kings/Red Wings game that night as press so now I have two games to watch that day where I can’t root for either team DAMNIT!

    Anyway, keep up the good work.

  12. Neil says:

    Do you think that motivational speaking is in your future? As a UAA, fan I say thanks for the inspiring post. Let’s beat the hell outta Bucky!!!!

  13. Suze says:

    Thanks Justin, I still remember the playoffs when you guys in green and gold beat Bucky in the playoffs! I hope your letter lights a fire under the Wolves this weekend. Will CAN beat skill.

  14. karlooch says:

    My favorite blog post you have done!! That had some true heart and soul. You are right…..fuck them and all their top draft picks who have not really proven anything yet. As a lifelong Gopher fan it is true that when other teams with less top NHL draft picks decide they want to play harder and do not be afraid of them it usually equates to a win. That is awesome for UAA and for all players who are underdogs. A hard working TEAM beats a bunch of talented premadonna’s every time!

  15. Karen From Rochester says:

    Justin-great speech! Love the profanity, it makes me feel right at home, like I’m out on a construction site! that quote about the talent gap between the elite and rising programs?-yeah! Case in point-last year’s Frozen Four-who the *$#% ever heard of RIT until last year, except those of us who live in the area?! And most everyone who lives around here thought of it as a geek school until last year….heart and soul and work ethic beat entitlement every time!

  16. lew says:

    Go Seawolves!

    Especially after watching the Spartans loose a (boring) game at the Kohl center. I had my hopes all up since MSU was coming off a win against the Gophers. Plus hearing all the crap about the rose bowl pissed me off too (stupid BCS).

  17. Don II says:

    As a season tkt holder since the Seawolves played thr home games in the Wells Fargo Sports Center I am proud the program is getting some air time on your prestigious BLOG

    Keep up the good work & thanks for the comments

  18. Beer:30 says:

    Actually that link:

    doesn’t quite get it right. Most of the Tlingit part is correct but Seawolves are definitely real. It’s a traditional representation of Orcas or “killer” whales. The best pictures I could find (sadly enough) was cheap tourist trap fodder. But here it is anyway:

    Some of the actual paintings and carvings are truly stunning. The real ones (whales) fascinate me as well. Like giant patchwork versions of flipper …. that can eat you …. but probably won’t, probably. I’ve been close enough to look them in the eye and tell that their breath stinks (not at sea world). Captivating creatures. Spooky, moving experience every time. And as always, that is one huge eyeball!

    So, there you go. I hope no one took it too hard when they found out that UAA Sports Information wasn’t the best source for Tlingit cultural information.

  19. St. Cloud Gopher says:

    +1 for the “I hate Bucky” column. I mean, is there another squad/school/state that inspires so much vitriol? I know my Gophs are hated, but only in hockey. Sconnie has haters for hockey, football and their three-time defending national champion women’s butter-eating team. (Averaged 65.2 lbs. in two 10 halves, just shy of their 2008 record of 66.1. his might be my imagination, but I think it’s true.)

  20. PDsDad says:

    Thanks Bourno! i used to live in Madison but have been a Seawolves fan since 1979. I no longer live in ANC but was just up for Thanksgiving and caught a couple of games in the Sully. Good times.
    I’ll be watching the ‘Wolves this weekend and hoping to catch a shot of PD on the bench too.

  21. John says:

    Oh man you killed it! I pictured it as a scene in a movie where Jack Nicholson is an ex-Sea Wolf and shows up to give the young’uns the low-down before the big game. It would be like his character in “A Few Good Men”…YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!

  22. Sioux in the Cities says:

    You had me at “Fuck Wisconsin.”

  23. Suze says:

    Game one in the books, Seawolves 2 – BADgers 1. UAA outshot them 31-22. Woo hoo! Hopefully Wiles and Portwood aren’t injured too badly and will be playing tomorrow night. Congrats guys! Nice win, and in 6th place out of 12 teams.

  24. Tom says:

    We were at last night’s game and to add to Suze’s comment – Tommy Grant scored the winning goal with 8 seconds left in regulation!! Our first goal was a shortie. We are now one point ahead of the Badgers with more to come.
    Go Wolves!!

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