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The Land After Time

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I stumbled onto a massive discovery.  In trying to run some early morning errands, I had to kill some time waiting for the bank to open.  I went to the mall, only to see a sign saying that the stores weren’t open there either.  Yet people were still walking into the place.  Old people.

If we could mine the precious deposit of old people that were in the mall before it opened we could start a nursing home.  They were everywhere.  Alone, in couples, men, women, with ipods and walkmen, jogging shoes and stretchy pants.  They were using the closed mall as a big track to walk laps around.

Hundreds of them.

I took a few steps in and got caught up in the current… it all made sense:  Air conditioning, nicely sanitized tile, a food court (with a cafe that opens early to cash in on these clunkers), and it occured to me:  this is exactly the same thing I used to do when I was 12, with my friends.  We’d go public skating, move around in a big circle, be social, listen to music, and grab a hot chocolate from the concession stand. 

The ciiircle of life…….. it’s a wheeeel of fortuuuuneeee…  What a discovery.

*****

Green Bay Packer Nation probably owned a collective 23 rafillion Favre jerseys.  I’m not proposing that the “Favre goes WWE villain and switches teams” moment wasn’t genuine, but how much money do you think they made selling new GB Pack jerseys to slighted fans who didn’t wan’t to wear a jersey with “Arnold” on the back anymore (read: Benedict)?

And how many Rodgers jerseys have they sold?  This guy could be the best QB in the league this year.  How well timed was his rise to prominence right when Favre basically tore down the un-built statues of himself in Green Bay?

*****

Does anybody else think that the mom and kid in the AT&T rollover minutes commercials have a priceless chemistry? (Can’t believe I’m about to run an AT&T commercial after they grinded me for $43.57 as a broke freshman in college, but it really does make me laugh)

 

*****

But if there’s a set of commercials you have to watch, it’s ESPN’s “this is SportsCenter” commercials.  Spend some time on YouTube.  I still love this one:  “…that was a poor effort”

 

Scott Van Pelt is priceless.

*****

I’ll link to my take on the Phoenix Coyotes situation later today or tomorrow…  I know you need your hockey news fix.

In the meantime, I have a light-hearted article up on www.hockeyprimetime.com – my thoughts on the experience of sharing a cold tub with another dude after a hockey game.

Also, tomorrow:  The first of a series of video blogs on the upcoming NHL season.

Comments

11 Responses to “The Land After Time”
  1. Kristen says:

    Ok good, so I’m not the only one who can watch those ESPN commercials for hours and i don’t think they will ever get old!

    Also, might i suggest that if you haven’t already, you figure out what day is “old folks day” at the local grocery and then avoid at all costs going on that day… slow moving individuals, that will see that your young and tall enough to reach things in the top shelf, a 5 minute trip can turn into an hour one REALLY quick.
    -don’t get me wrong, i don’t mind helping them out, but they always seem to catch you on the day you need to be in and out, so just avoid the day that they are all out together!

    Once again, great entry. Your blog keeps ma laughing and for that thank you.

  2. JD says:

    Were the old people playing “British Bulldog” in the aisles of the mall too? That would have churned up some nostalgia.

  3. SDC says:

    And I get heat from you for writing long blogs, haha.

    I took a shot at old people in my latest as well: http://davecunning.wordpress.com

    I never had the stones to attempt the cold tub in college. Oddly one of our best players always did, and he never got less good. Our tub was a huge rubbermaid jersey bucket, and he was so small, he fit right in it. You could’ve snapped the lid on and put him under the bus if you wanted to. Definitely not room for two in that one.

  4. jtbourne says:

    You never coldtubbed, but you’ve been skydiving? Yeah that makes sense.

  5. Andrew says:

    After watching football this weekend doesn’t anybody else think that now all sports are rigged?

    NHL, two years in a row the Red Wings, and the “not so great savior of hockey Sid the Kid “, I mean that is the ultimate Stanley Cup finals, and perfect for the sport. Baseball, take my Red Sox, I mean we come back from: 3:0 against the Stankees, 3:1 against Cleveland, almost come back from 3:1 from the Tampa Bay Rays. NBA, the last couple of drafts, teams have gotten there own college superstar from there own town. NFL, look at the last two Super Bowls, arguably the best two Super’s ever. Then this weekend, the Patriots score two touchdowns in the last 2:06, the Chargers almost lose to the Raiders.(who have the worst owner now in the NFL, back in the day he had it but now, he’s got nothing) In the season opener, the Steelers stink it up until the last half of the 4th quarter. All sports have lost there intergrity in my eyes………….

  6. SDC says:

    I was unknowingly signed up to skydive, and strapped to a guy that rolled us both out the door. I would have had to autonomously chosen to put myself in the cold tub. I think that’s what made the difference. That and I reeeeeeally don’t like being cold.

  7. jtbourne says:

    I’ll see if I can get sports to call you and apologize for being exciting, one sec….

  8. Fr. Jay T. says:

    The “This is Sportscenter” commercial with the Mannings getting a tour is a classic. Peyton and Eli Manning kicking and punching each other, with Archie giving them that “dad” look is too much. You remember Reebok’s “Terry Tate: Office Quarterback” commercials?

  9. Ron says:

    Ah, Terry Tate… “If you kill the Joe, you make some mo’!”

  10. jtbourne says:

    Have I not run Tate video’s yet? The pain train is comin’ baby! I was all about those back in the day. Not up in this humpy bumpy.

  11. Steve says:

    I love the “This is Sportscenter” that has Gordie Howe terrorizing Olberman

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hE2L69wGMqE.

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