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Kittens and Sucker Punches



(Quick thought on this blog title – is “Sucker-Punching Kittens” the best band name ever, or is it just me that thinks that?  Just me?  Crap.)


Ahhh, another beautiful day in the sports world.

A badass MNF game, a good slate of hockey, and the confirmation that yes… this week Bri and I get our first pet, a Scottish Fold/American Shorthair cat.  And, like a pregnant couple noticing everyone else who’s pregnant, we’re noticing all things cats.  For example, this lolcat is, um, noteworthy.  For being awesome:

Here’s the little bastard we’re picking up Wednesday:

Tyson (face tat)? Darius (street Bri and I grew up on)? Whaddya think for a name?

Tyson (face tat)? Darius (street Bri and I grew up on)? Whaddya think for a name?


A friend of mine is playing over in Norway, and sent me this hilarious clip of himself I had to share - it’s basically a three-second flipbook, but on the internet.  It came with the caption “These Norwegians think they can run their mouths and nothing will happen”.  Cue the sucker punch.  Yeah.  Those Norwegians, man…


Sooo, I just learned this yesterday, which basically explains: 2010 Olympic hockey?  Not gonna be played on “Olympic” ice.  Seems kinda counterintuitive, doesn’t it?

They didn’t want to take out seating, which makes sense.  As most of you know, an NHL rink is 200 x 85.  An olympic sheet is more like 200 x 100 (actually, it’s 60 meters by 30, making it 200 x 98.5), giving the skaters more room, but making the game less physical.  Ah.  Ohhhh…. less physical.  Did I just stumble onto another major reason?  Smaller sheet, more physical game, better for the Canadians?  Ignore this segment.



Recently I linked to the Shane Doan article where he explained that “if we win, fans will come”, because I like to pat myself on the back.  It was my “I sorta made that point too!” moment.

Well, here I go again. 

Not sure if you read my last column for USA Today – basically it explained, from my point of view, that the game is less safe because of things like the salary cap and instigator penalties.

And, here’s the link to the article I wrote for The Hockey News on head shots.  And so, for the Bourne-on-Bourne back-pat, here’s New York Rangers coach John Tortorella a few days back- explaining we need to do something about head shots and the instigator penalty.  Not like it’s breaking news, but hey, indulge me.


Those of you who follow me on twitter already read these, but they’re too good not to share with the blog crew.  The best TextFromLastNight ever came a few days ago:  “I guess I finally out-drove Tiger Woods this morning…”

Followed by the tremendous tweet: “@nealbrennan Tiger Woods: half black/half Asian. Beef with wife – black. Can’t control car – Asian.

Ohhh, the joke deposit these comedians found to mine…


30 Responses to “Kittens and Sucker Punches”
  1. Travelchic59 says:

    Good luck with the new kitten. Scottish Folds are adorable. Love their ears.

  2. Anna S. says:

    Scottish Fold/American Shorthair cat

    Holy crap, you’ve landed on one of the most sure-fire cute cats in the universe! I’m a sucker for Scottie folds (their ears! oh, explosion of adorable!) and Munchkin cats (think a normal kitty with very short legs; they frequently stand up on their back legs like meercats), even though I’m currently owned by a Siamese. She’s very possessive, so I shall be acquiring no more cute cats on her watch.

    Anyway, I hope you and your kitty (Tyson? I like it) get along great.

    Also, Sucker-punching Kittens is indeed a great band name. They should do delicate, piano-driven alterna-ballads, for ironic hilarity.

  3. Kerstin says:

    Guess “Tyson” as a name leaves “room for improvement” (or do you expect him to bite a part of your ear out in the second round? :D ) ;-)

    What about
    - Wayne
    - Rambo
    - Romeo (actually the guy from our local video store got a pit bull puppy called Romeo…haha :D )
    - Flynn
    I’m sure the two of you make the right choice..

  4. Jbrown says:

    I’d like to use my veto against the name “Darius”

  5. jtbourne says:

    Yeah, Darius only has two things going for it – meaning: grew up together on that street, proposed to Bri there. Variations – DareDevil, DareBear, etc…

  6. St. Cloud Gopher says:


  7. Pete says:

    good god with the cats.

    this is the last time i’ll bring it up, but seeing you ask everyone to come up with bets while ignoring mine a few weeks ago is a bit disheartening. considering i managed to pull off the win makes it worse, with osgood no less.

    anyway, keep up the career trajectory!

  8. Will77 says:

    If you don’t name the kitten Darius, and one day it hip-checks the hell out of another animal, you’re going to be pretty pissed

  9. Travis says:

    I think “Kitten Fister” would have been better

  10. jtbourne says:

    oooooone point, new commentor Travis…

  11. Far North says:

    Ummm . . . I love your blog. But ethnic jokes aren’t any more appropriate than gay jokes.

  12. Courtney says:

    Tyson is a cute name for a very cute kitty and there’s a good chance he could chomp on your ear at some point

    Also consider Jameson =D

    Thankk you for sucking me into this blog, it’s highly entertaining

  13. Ally says:

    Rupert. The cat’s name should be Rupert.

  14. zyllyx says:

    I’d say name him after Sean Avery, but he’s already a pussy so it’d be redundant.

  15. Officer Koharski says:

    Get a female and name them Bonnie and Clyde. It’s the perfect storm for cat names.

    This video was described to me as “may well be the best 17 seconds of your life” It delivers.

  16. Amy Jo says:

    When in doubt in naming anything, go with Ovenchicken and call him Ovi for shot.

    I’m pretty sure kitty will charge, jump into the glass, lose a tooth, go way too fast for his own safety, try to steal your woman and all that other shit the big Ovi does.

  17. Gradin says:

    That picture brings a tear to my eye. Sooooo cute–I just want to squeeze his little ears until he squeaks! For realz, call that bad boy Darius.

  18. Travis says:

    I predict a post involving more cats tomorrow (i.e., Keith Ballard). Suspension worthy?

  19. smoboy says:

    You just found out the Olympics won’t be played on Olympic sized ice? This whole cute animal thing is messing with your mind.

  20. Neil says:

    Time will tell, but hopefully the Euros are practicing on small ice a lot because it could be downright cruel to throw some of those boys on a smaller ice surface with bodies like J-Bou and Pronger who know the angles like the back of their hand.

  21. Madeleine says:

    One of the best cat names I know is Colin Feral

  22. Madeleine says:

    or you coule go with Scottie (for obvious reasons) and make lots of Star Trek jokes

  23. Jbrown says:

    I understand your reasoning, but don’t let sentimentality (or Ms Gradin) get in the way of proper naming for a cat. That cat looks like a Henry to me. Then you can call him Hank.

    Look, I work with a Darius and he’s always stopping by my desk and just rifling through my shit like it’s his own. One time he reached into a container of veggies and picked one up, said “baby carrots? Such a waste” and then put it back in the container. MY container. There was no intro, no precedent set that said we touched and critiqued each others food. He’s just stupid. Don’t do that to your cat. Don’t make him stupid.

  24. Sherry says:

    Scottish names and meanings…

    MacInnes – Son of the unique choice (you could call him Mac. And there’s the obvious hockey tie in…)

    Broehain – Broken (well, his little ears are “broken” – you could call him Bro)

    Lachie – The boy from the Lochs. Warrior. (this is my favorite – don’t know why, I just like it)

  25. Jake says:

    Redd goes to euro and gets tough? I love it.

  26. Sherry says:

    That’ll teach me to not be a Tweeter – I see I’m too late in the great kitty naming sweepstakes…

  27. St. Cloud Gopher says:

    I previously mentioned SeaCat for the name of the new feline, but I have changed course and would like to recommend “Tlingit.” (Pronounced “Clink-it,” but I’m sure you knew that.) It is the Indian tribe that thinks there is a mythical sea creature that brings good luck. To some that creature remains an unknown. To the Alaskan population, and fans of WCHA hockey, that creature is the SeaWolf.

  28. Simone says:

    Adding a vote for Tyson.
    Go Ty-guy!

  29. fish says:

    kittyname: Raawwllf?

  30. Mac'r says:

    Love the blog, highly entertaining.

    As for cat names….well you’ll need 2 to really make it work: Bebop & Rocksteady

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