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Exercising Two Legs and One Finger



I’m feeling refreshed and alive today people.

Still trying to get my hands on a priceless "after" picture to go with this "before" one

Cunning up.

I finally soaked in a little vitamin D in the midst of this gorgeous Kelowna summer we’ve been having (gorgeous, just no fires allowed.  Also, no: smoking, rubbing sticks together or dragons allowed in the park).  We chucked together a surprise birthday party for one of my best friends yesterday, Dave Cunning (  A few of us headed out for little evening of wakeboarding, swimming and Ogopogo hunting.

It reminded me of a little hockey nugget I thought I’d share, cause this is the type of thing not all hockey fans are around to hear: 

Less up.

Cunning less up.

Scott Hannan, a Kelowna resident, genuinely claimed that he stopped doing leg workouts a few summers back, because wakeboarding was his new workout.  I know it’s a leg burn, but it isn’t squatting 315 pounds 12 times.

The guy consistently showed up to skate minutes before we went out, fully equipped with his crazy long hair, uber-summer tan, and surfer-dude mentality.  Kinda strikes me as more of a “minus-five SPF-oil guy” than the “concerned-about-melanoma’s type”.

Not that I’m hear to pass judgement, but I’m not so sure his career has been heading in the right direction since I heard him say that.  But then again, maybe I should withhold criticizing his regimine.  Things have gone pret-ty decent for him over his 10 years or so in the league.


So… I stepped on the ice for about the third time since December last night.  The good news is, I’m still a decent player.  What wasn’t great, is that I’m in roughly the same shape as John Candy was while shooting ”Uncle Buck”.  I drove home looking worse than Nick Nolte before a mug shot.  I can’t imagine playing contact hockey (which, for those of you who don’t know, is only about 80 times as tiring as non-contact). 

But still, I got thinking… “yeah… yeah… I could figure this game out again real quick-like.  I’ve been getting some calls from teams for next year, maybe I’ll just whip my ass back into shape…”

And then I took the heel-end of a stick across my mustache, and starting planning my next blog.

I especially like having to pay to play now.

I especially like having to pay to play now.


Dear Hockey,

F. you too.




10 Responses to “Exercising Two Legs and One Finger”
  1. SDC says:

    I CAN’T believe you took a stick in the duster. Unreal.
    Thanks for the blog shout-out! I assure everyone that wakeboarding is a decent workout. Can’t say I’d be telling my NHL team that I had been substituting the gym with it though.

  2. deirdrebeth says:

    I miss seeing lil’ Scotty Hannan play! His surfer-bum attitude totally worked in San Jose…no idea if that works in Colorado (possibly he just became a ski-bum instead?)

    Sorry to hear about the face-check. Maybe that’s hockey’s way of saying it loves you :-P

  3. Marc says:

    I’ve been waterskiing since before I learned to tie my shoes as a kid, lemme tell you if you did a couple of laps on a slalom ski course or even just did deep cuts back and forth for awhile your back, legs and shoulders would feel like they just spent an decent at the gym each. I wouldn’t be surprised if you found that it helped out a lot for hockey back in HS I was always in the best condition come first practice of the season compared to the team.

  4. jtbourne says:

    Ha, I was 90% sure I’d get that comment from somebody, and was kinda waiting for it. I know it’s a real burn (I mentioned that). My point is, if you did NHL-level leg workouts (squats, jump squats, plyometrics, etc.), you’d see the difference. It’s not just about gettting a workout, it’s about gaining that thick, powerful muscle that players need to barely budge when some tank runs into them on the ice.

  5. Far North says:

    Honestly, I don’t understand why hockey players think cages are so unmanly. If you piled up all those lost teeth you’d probably get a stack the size of Mt. Everest. It’s preventable, guys!

    (Hmmm, I’m suddenly envisioning an interesting exhibit for some team’s display case. Right next to the trophies, a bowl of players’ teeth.)

    Different topic — (you need a place for questions that have nothing to do with the day’s entry) — a player who was listed as 6’3″, 200 pounds on last year’s college roster is listed as 6’2,” 175 pounds by his new NHL team. I’ve stood next to enough college players to think that the roster stats are often optimistic. Does this continue at the higher levels? Are NHL teams required to report those things accurately?

  6. Marc says:

    I did say high school hockey didn’t I? I was happy that only one or two of the guys smoking before going into the rink and most of them were sober. :P

  7. Meg Jarrell says:

    I think this entire entry should have been a video! The finger action would translate well to the small screen, and then I could watch it over and over in slo-mo….:)

  8. Murderwing says:

    This has nothing to do with anything, but, just wow.

  9. jtbourne says:

    Ha, that’s amazing, I might have to work that in somewhere. Don’t be afraid to click that youtube vid out people, it’s pretty sweet.

  10. jtbourne says:

    I’ll answer you in today’s blog, good question.

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