Jeff "The Hammer" Bourne
Posted by jtbourne on April 2, 2009 · 9 Comments
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Before I get to Jeff, let me ask, in Seinfeldian fashion: …what’s the deal with old people in check out lines?
Why, oh why, is exact change so crucial to the elderly? What age is it that you realize that having extra change is the most burdensome thing to have to bear? Plus, I swear on everything holy the lady ahead of me in line at the grocery store asked (after paying to the penny) “Oh, and one more thing dear… is there a fig section? There used to be a fig section.”
I don’t want to be ageist, but come on with the fig line lady.
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Now, more importantly, I want to use my blog to mention something near and dear to my heart. Sledge Hockey.
My brother Jeff is an avid player/coach/general enthusiast. In fact, those of you who saw my Dad’s Islanders-Hall-Of-Fame induction may remember the Islanders bought Jeff a sled as a gift, which was a super-classy move. Plus that sled ruled.
Whenever I play, he chucks me in some old Studebaker model, passes the puck into a corner, and blows me to pieces. A quick explanation of Sledge for those of you who don’t know:
You sit in a bucket seat (with your legs straight out in front of you) which is on two skate blades. You hold two Sledge sticks, which have a hockey blade on one side and a pick on the other to pull yourself. You can really get cruisin’. It’s full contact, and most of the players are better than you at it. That’s really all you need to know for now.
Basically, I just wanted to spread the word about it, and if anybody is interested or involved, feel free to email myself or my brother Jeff at jeff.bourne@gmail.com.
Also, I vote everybody starts calling my brother “the Hammer”, because its the coolest sledge name ever, and he likes to hit. Whiiich is a tad different from the Euro/Canadian hybrid style his younger brother attempted.
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On a totally different topic, yesterday I was listening to a rap radio station here in NY, as I tend to do, and I heard this exchange:
Guy: “I may be only 135 pounds, but I like them big girls. 140+”
Girl: “Boy don’tchu call me big. I’m thick. And I ain’t even big, I wear a size 19, I’m not even in double digits!”
Sigh… yes dear. Yes you are in double digits.
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And lastly for today, thank you to Jay Cutler and the rest of the Denver Bronco’s for acting like 10 year olds, it looks like the Jets are in the running to pick him up. Lord knows we need him. J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets! How do you think that affiliation is gonna hold up if I move to Boston?
Final note: If you’re into hockey, which you probably are since you’re on my blog, check out today’s articles on www.thehockeynews.com and www.maxhockey.com.
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I'm a hockey player turned writer. After playing for Alaska Anchorage in the WCHA (NCAA), I carried on with an NHL tryout (New York Islanders in 2007) before spending a couple seasons in the AHL/ECHL (last year was 2008-09). My father, Bob Bourne, won four Stanley Cups with the Islanders in the '80's, as did my fiancee's dad, Clark Gillies. I'm now the web editor for theScore's hockey blog "Backhand Shelf."
Hey Justin this past year was my first as a billet for 2 junior hockey players. Did you ever stay with a host family? Any funny stories about that??Like the new header easier to use.
We played a charity sledge hockey game in high school, the guys we played were insane. And by insane I mean, insanely good. They embarassed us, def brought me down a peg or two, I have tons of respect for anyone who plays sledge hockey, take a ton of talent and skill.
One of about two good intermission things my team has done this season was a sledge hockey demo. It’s exciting when folks down here know anything about hockey at all, so sledge hockey is pretty mind-blowing. Those guys must have just unbelievable core strength. I might hit you or Jeff up this summer for a sledge hockey goalie contact. Would be a good off-season article to work on.
“Is there a fig section?”…haha wow possibly the clubhouse leader for quote of the year. I was at the grocery store two days ago and an elderly couple made the produce guy go weigh the cantaloupe (sp?) to see how much it was going to cost, because apparently they had set a limit as to what they would pay for that specific piece of fruit.
I guess they like using exact change so much because those little change purses with the push-open tops can only hold so much coin (especially up here north of the 49th).
I swear, the fig section thing killed me… she walked away muttering under her breath about the decline of the fig. I love the concept of some couple that wants canteloupe, but only if they can get it for a couple bucks. An extra couple cents, and no sir. That canteloupe is not for them.
Soooo much for Cutler… stupid Bears. Also, Pat: I lived with billets for three years in junior, always with another player. And I wrote that in my planner for things to write about. The adventures were many (my first year billet provided mandatory pop-tart breakfasts).
Speaking of Pop Tarts went through over 30 boxes in the hockey season; 25 cases of bottled water ;20 cases of Gatorade;10 cases Mac&Cheese..One more thing when does a hockey player lose their ability to smell ( hockey equipment) I thought something was dead in the bag!
For the real shopping experience get in line behind some oldsters at a u-scan self check out. That will bring you down to your knees.
Anchorage AK, we got ash, we don’t got ash, make up your mind.
I think you’ll be fine as a Jets fan in Boston. I’m a lifelong Steelers fan who’s been here for 10 years, and I only get an occasional good-natured heckle when I wear a Steelers tee around town. Unless by “how do you think that affiliation is going to hold up?” you meant are YOU going to change your loyalty. In which case, I have no idea; depends on how strong you are with the Jets. ha.
Interestingly, even though the Bruins are doing so well this year, nobody has EVER commented on my many, many Penguins shirts. I don’t know where the B’s fans are. Maybe in the suburbs?
So really, it seems like around here you’re only in danger if you’re a rival baseball fan. The other sports kinda pale in comparison.