The OTHER Involuntary Nap
Posted by jtbourne on September 7, 2009 · 13 Comments
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My last post was called “The Involuntary Nap”, regarding the Boise state player who was taunting LeGarette Blount, only to find himself waking up from a short, less-than-refreshing nap a few seconds later.
The rarely photographed upright Kronschnabel
My college roommate Charlie Kronschnabel saw the title and text me “damn, I thought I was gonna get some ink”.
Well you are now, Kronsch.
Charlie suffers from nap-attacks. Although “suffers” is probably the exact opposite of the word I should have used.
I’m still not sure if I pity or envy his special breed – you know, that unique group of people out there that struggle to make it through a two hour DVD? As much as the nap attack seems like a crappy affliction to be stuck with, it has to have some upsides to have so many supporters, right?
Making entire flights disappear must be nice. And if you have six hours of sleep before your alarm, you manage to get six hours of sleep. I guess there’s a few things I envy. But for every hour you’re out, you’re missing an hour of… just… stuff, aren’t you? Is life that intolerable?
The nappers are almost like wine connoisseurs to me. I enjoy wine. I can tell which ones I like. But they really seem to get something more of the same liquid, something special that I’m not. It’s the same with art collectors, or that girl on “e” at a concert who seems to be feeling the music on an entirely different level than I am.
But what I really don’t get, is the involuntary nap. The “oh, shit, did I just fall asleep?” moments.
It takes me forever to fall asleep, and these nap fiends do it unwillingly?
That’s almost just rubbing it in my face, like, I’m up at 2:30 a.m. tossing and turning and they’re like, “what, can’t fall asleep? God, it’s so easy it’s sometimes I do it by acci-zzzzz”.
Don’t you feel yourself drifting? What’s going on in your head that you’re thinking so few thoughts at any given time that the machine can just power off without closing all the programs?
I used to have a theory that um… less intelligent people… tended to fall asleep quicker, on an “ignorance-is-bliss” level. There isn’t much processing going on, very little worrying, etc, but that theory is about as solid as an alibi from OJ. There are plenty of geniuses who can turn it off like a light switch.
The financee fiance is a hell of a napper in her own right, but back in college, Charlie used to fall asleep mid conversation. And as much as I’d never say it to his face, the guy is usually pretty damn sharp.
So I’m opening it up to the readers for input.
Love it or hate it? What’s the norm when it comes to the time it takes to fall asleep? Do you know any involuntary nappers (or are you one)?
I'm a hockey player turned writer. After playing for Alaska Anchorage in the WCHA (NCAA), I carried on with an NHL tryout (New York Islanders in 2007) before spending a couple seasons in the AHL/ECHL (last year was 2008-09). My father, Bob Bourne, won four Stanley Cups with the Islanders in the '80's, as did my fiancee's dad, Clark Gillies. I'm now the web editor for theScore's hockey blog "Backhand Shelf."
I don’t really have a comment, more of achallenge. If you take an aderol pill (commonly used to studying) and you can fall asleep within an hour or two after taking it, then you have a real talent.
I don’t fall asleep in mid conversation like Chuckles there, but bitch can nap. Especially if you put me in a car or plane and leave me alone? Oh, I’m OUT. Which makes road trips unbearable because I’m either sound asleep and drooling on the seat belt, or I’m driving and literally holding my eyes open, chugging Dr. Pepper with the windows down and the a/c on Max.
So… love the nap. I have one nap that was so nice, it’s in my top 10 happy moments in life. No kidding. Don’t judge me!
What I hate is wanting a nap and not being able to take one. That’s my equivalent of low blood sugar. I get confused and snappish. Okay… more confused and snappish than usual.
For me,there is nothing like a nap on a Saturday afternoon. I suppose it’s a combination of my age and the hard hours I put in from M to F, but if the kids are quiet and I’m sucessfully avoiding the lawn-mowing (or whatever) it’s tough to beat a weekend power snooze (say, 1 to 2 hours long). Also, my Dad perfected the “I’m not sleeping, I’m resting my eyelids” routine, and I’m noticing that I’m getting better at that too. Great for a few quick zzz’s.
You spelled Charlie’s last name wrong in the “Tag”. Ouch. Roommate Fail or Typing Fail?
I once drove all the way to Fairbanks with my then almost and soon to be permanent g/f to watch you guys play the dreaded Nooks (your freshman season). We’d both been up for most of the night before and she wanted to drive. After hours and hours of Nickelback we got past Cantwell and she decided she wanted to nap.
Of course, I’d been struggling to stay awake in order to help keep her awake the first 3 hours. Naturally, she was out for the count long before we got to the entrance to Denali Park which was only about 15 miles from where we switched. I waited and waited and waited as long as I could but the sleep was absolutely wafting off of her and enveloping the whole car’s interior.
A few miles north of Healy, I couldn’t stand it anymore. I figured she was far enough gone that I could slyly pull over and catch 30 mins. I really eased into the pulling over bit and as gently as anyone could slid into a pullout. She woke immediately. Upon informing her that I couldn’t keep my eyes open she naturally “went off”.
After switching back at her insistence and a couple of minutes of berating I explained to her that the sleep was “wafting off her” and infecting me. She glared … then there was silence (except for more Nickelback) until we were about 15 minutes from Fairbanks when she said, “Wafting? …. Wafting?” and started a laughfest which broke the tension. Good thing too because I was soooooo about to bust her chops for her snoring.
Gimme a linky please. The Anchorage “cat” with two first names has one.
I’m with JB on this. It’s not even the “nap” that I don’t get; it’s sleeping in general. If I get more than 5 hours a night, there is no way I’m asleep by 2 a.m.
As far as naps go, my last, non-hungover, midday sleep involved a mat and a carton of milk.
Oh, I can nap. No trouble falling asleep at night, either. But my mind definitely does NOT “power off without closing all the programs.” Instead, I have crazy dreams all night. Coincidence? Is Charlie sleeping blissfully, or dreaming about his skate laces repeatedly coming untied?
Wafting is a totally reasonable way to describe that event. I described your link as something like “a supporter of the program that I support that once supported me”!
Thanks for responding so positively to my blatantly self-indulged pimping. I rethought my description of Doyle and decided he has two last names not two first names. Um … nevermind. Hopefully his middle name isn’t Smith.
Any trip longer than an hour where I’m not driving – out like a light within the first 15 minutes.
Sitting anywhere withing hearing distance of a fish tank – out like a light before I can think about it.
Actually in bed with nothing to do but sleep – the brain is going 100 miles an hour and it’s hopeless.
Sigh.
So Kronsch – you end up with a lot of Sharpie mustaches in school?
I have nothing to do with that pic, but if I know Kronsch like I think I do, that’s a dreamless, hungover Sunday floor nap.
I don’t think it’s about intelligence – I think it’s about which of us are the thinkers, analyzers, planners, conceptualizers, schemers, where does this small idea fit into the big picture thinkers, what’s next for me in my life/career/relationship wonderers. (I may have made up a few words there…)
I can’t just live today and deal with tomorrow tomorrow. I’m always thinking about how can things be better in my life/career/relationships. That makes me sound like a malcontent. That’s not accurate. I’m very happy with my life, career and relationships right now, but unless I continue to change and grow, I won’t stay happy.
Needless to say – I am not a good sleeper! Oh – but how I envy those who are asleep by the time their head hits the pillow….
I was once known (more or less) as the guy who slept on the floor at a house where some of my buddies lived after college. I even kept an air mattress there. Sundays you’d get up, have some drinks, and then drift off around 3 or 4 in the afternoon. I’ll let a secret out…NASCAR is Perfectly Suited for napping. That constant din of the engines in the background…you’ll be KOed in no time. Sleep is the best.
As far as that Aderol challenge…well Mr. Ciocco is dead on.
I dated a guy who could sleep anywhere. His name was Young and we called it the Young Slump. It didn’t matter where or when. He could fall asleep at a place he’d never been before, surrounded by complete strangers. Trusting or narcoleptic, i still have no idea.
Personally it takes at least two hours to get to sleep. Any longer than that and i take half a melatonin. Yay for natural sleep aid!