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Crucial Asparagus Related Information



Are “I’m with stupid” shirts officially the calling card of the socially oblivious?

It seems as fads come and go, there comes a time where everybody sort of agrees “yeah, for sure, No Fear shirts totally do suck”.

For some poor soul to head out for a day downtown with this never-that-funny, definitely-not-now tee on, it makes me want to help.  Even it’s supposed to be ironic.

It’s sole, redeeming quality?  It probably pioneered the sequence of “You looked better on MySpace” and “Your Mom’s in my Top 8″ tee’s that made me laugh, one time each, five years ago.  Props.


Alright, f**k it, I like Twitter.

There, I said it.

I don’t feel good about it.  I’m not smiling while I tweet, proud of being involved in a nauseatingly sweet social device.  I fought it.  I planted my feet in the flood like the Trees in the Lord of the Rings, but I got swept away.

I only follow 19 people, but I can’t wait to see what Bill Simmons, Fitzy GFY and Shaq have to say on the daily (actually, not Shaq, he think’s he’s a bunch more funny than he is).

It combines a potential laugh with narcissistic indulgence.  Who wouldn’t want to know I made the best asparagus tonight?

I’m not saying its a good thing.  In fact, I could do with out BarackObama letting me know which representatives to write to influence legislation.  But I definitely see a place in the world for Bill Simmons tweeting about soccer:

“sportsguy33 Third great save of the half by Tim Howard! He’s sooooooo getting laid by Lindsay Lohan when he gets back to the States.”

 ”sportsguy33 Are the announcers worried that if they admit that was a goal it will somehow put US troops in danger?”

Or, my own musings:

jtbourne I like to touch as many things as possible on the subway to really put my immune system through a good workout.”



 On July 1st (Canada Day!), free agent signings will be out of control, providing me with ample material to break down.  Stick with me, I’ll provide some commentary as it happens. 

No doubt I’ll be providing factual, non-judgemental musings.  You know how I do.


9 Responses to “Crucial Asparagus Related Information”
  1. smoboy says:

    OK, so what about No Fear hats, ’cause I know still has one.

  2. jtbourne says:

    Haha. Those are good. Like I’m the authority on trends all the sudden. Just because No Fear shirts suck doesn’t mean I threw them all out. Plus, remember:
    It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog.

  3. P. Deezy F. Baby says:

    I used to rock the Make 7Up Yours shirt when that was cool, which was never, but I still rocked that shit! On another note, my mother is a HUGE fan of your blog (would be a bigger fan of Kronsch’s blog if he ever wrote one, she liked him wayyy more than you at UAA) and wanted me to convey congrats on the en-convincingBreezytomarryyou-gagement. No clue why she doesn’t post it herself but who am I to argue with my mom?

  4. Kristen says:

    haha.. ur posts always make me laugh!

    …also, i too gave into the twitter thang (yes, im from Arkansas, dont laugh, no, i dont have the accent, i just make fun of the southerners) lol …and occasionally i say some funny stuff, so if ya ever need a laugh, check me out if ya want… specialk08

    i find ur tweets funny, especially the ones u sent over ur cross country drive! :)

    thanks for the blog, its great!

  5. Tom Curran says:

    Hey There J-Dog, Congrats on your Making B an accomplice in your twisted world of daily musings! I hope you never stop! The fund-raiser that Jeff put on was a total hit, all the Rocket boys showed up and really hit it out of the park! Your Bro had a shit eating grin on the whole time! Almost 2 g’s raised! Wish you had of been there to see it! See you back at Sturg soon for your Dads camp. Tommy Bahama.

  6. Tom Curran says:

    P.S. I’m Playing Tower tomorrow, best ball tourney, could sure use a few of your t shots!

  7. JD says:

    No Fear tarps – there is a blast from the past. Takes me back to elementary school when I was envious of all the high school dudes who got to rock one. What’s worse is that I think my first foray in that genre of t-shirts was actually a “No Surrender”, the knock-off, Fredo Corleone to No Fear’s Michael.

  8. smoboy says:

    Don’t sell yourself short, Justin. As more and more people follow your blog, and tweets, the scope of your influence in modern culture could become, dare we say it, almost Oprah-like.

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