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Mush Minded Madness


I mean… what can you say besides…. “What?”

Or “what the f**k was that?”

Did that really just happen?

Ballard just took a baseball swing at Vokouns head.  You and I both know what he’s trying to do.  It doesn’t speak to some larger message about the game.

Just… what a first class moron.  I hated playing Ballard, partly because of the stickwork behind the play… who knew it was worse to be on his team.

If I’m the coach, Ballard is in a whole heap of trouble.  He cost your team it’s starting goaltender, which equates to taking money out of the owners pocket.  He needs to taste a team-imposed vicious fine.  And lord knows what else.  Whatever Vokoun wants.  Trade the guy if that’s what your goalie asks for.

I don’t care how bad the guy feels, that’s just inexcusable.  And to not stay there spilling out apologies and helping?  And then to continue to make sure that stick gets broken?  WTF mate?


I’m retarded today.  I slept on the floor of the bathroom where our new meowmix slept last night – we wanted him to stay in there so he’d use the litterbox, and he was all scared and meowy without company.  Needless to say, my sleep was subpar.  Thus, you get a “to blog about” file emptying.  Comment as you feel necessary.


20 things worth knowing about beer.  It’s hilarious, courtesy Nicky Robinson.  Thanks!


Dudes – what’s the best style urinal for avoiding splashback?  Trough?  Low urinal?  Full length urinal?


Dumb Athlete Ads – when’s it okay for guys like Emmitt Smith to appear in commercials for stuff like “Just For Men”.  This guy is a legend.  Or supposed to be.  Really, Dan Marino is in weight loss commercials?  I’m not opposed to guys makin a couple extra bucks but… there’s just something sad about it.


I’ve lived my life between six and 10 percent body fat until I retired.  I’m easily at 20 now.  What’s surprising, is I can still flex and see some faint implications that somewhere, back there, are abs.  Can all fat people do this?  At what weight are the abs indistinguishable?


Empty net goals counting towards plus/minus is horseshit.  You HAVE NO GOALIE.  Give the coach a minus if you want.  Nothing like having your six best skaters take a “dash” 2/3rds of the games you lose.  Yeah, nice reward for being good.


Just found out I own my college’s record for games played – 144 or something.  I missed one my whole career, my junior year, at home against North Dakota.  Why, you ask?  Healthy scratch.  Thanks coach.


Oh noooo, you’re tires all flat ‘n junnk.


 RA’s (resident advisors?) suck.  Must’ve put that one in the phone when I was drinking and angry.


Wouldn’t the same people who care enough about music to take the time to call in to a radio show and request a song be the same people who have iPods and CD’s nowadays?  They like music.  They’re willing to put the effort into calling, waiting, and requesting a song.  But they haven’t dug up a way to play said songs without the help of an FM radio station, a cell phone, some time on hold and a host’s approval?  Seems odd.


24 Responses to “Mush Minded Madness”
  1. Amy Jo says:

    You slept on the bathroom floor with the kitten. This tells us two important things:

    1) You will someday be a good Dad.

    2) You were pussywhipped in less than 24 hrs.

  2. Amanda says:

    was this an over time goal.. or a regulation time goal? (not that its important)… but really.. who gets that mad?!?!

    Ballard is SUCH an idiot.. i cant believe after he slashed his goalie across the face.. noticed his stick wasnt broken..then proceeded to break his stick..

  3. St. Cloud Gopher says:

    Perfect opportunity for the guy (Ballard) to step up and publicly suspend himself for the season. If Vokoun forgives him, then maybe we can see Keith on the ice again this season.
    Otherwise, I think it is up to the FLA brass to take a serious stand and give him his option: the bench for the year, or your walking papers. There is no way the NHLPA would take a stand against that. (I know they COULD, but WOULD they? I sure as hell hope not.)

  4. Tom Curran says:

    Holy Kieth(don’t call me Dick Cheney)Ballard!!
    That kind of irresponsible stick shit should warrant punishment from his coach, teammates and the league!!
    On the floor of the bathroom next to the kitty-shitty?????
    What a guy will do for a little………………….

  5. Tom Curran says:

    Will that forever be called getting “vokouned”?
    Or; you just “ballared” that guy!
    I like; you “K.B.’d” that dude

  6. Jbrown says:

    The reaction from players and teammates seems to be less than outraged. Thoughts?

  7. Neil says:

    Hitting your goalie by accident is really dumb but understandable (apparently it has happened a few times before). Making sure that stick gets broken and then skating away without even looking at your goalie means you’re a total dou– well, it raises some questions about what kind of bag you are.

    You’re telling me Bourne, I ate a -3 on Andy McDonald the other night for two late-game empty netters, I was punished for having a guy good enough to be put on the ice for a desperate goal. Still, though, if McDonald had potted the goals, y’all know I’m taking ‘em!

  8. jtbourne says:

    Neil – EXACTLY!!

    JBrown – Thoughts? Outrage.

    Tom – Vokouned sounds sick, but you’d have to phrase it based on which side of it you’re on.

  9. WWPKD says:

    I think Ballard just re-defined the locker room term “max fine”. I like the idea of giving Vokoun the option of what to do with Ballard. Im sure despite his dumbassedness his team wants him on the ice seeing as how at one time he was arguably the best player in the WCHA. How long would it take to forgive something like that? I hope he feels like a complete jackass cuz he sure looks like one.

  10. Jbrown says:

    I agree that making sure the stick is broken and then skating away is ridiculous, but I’m just not seeing the level of anger around the net that I’m seeing here. I’m not saying the anger isn’t justified, just that people are rushing to his defense more than rushing to condemn him. Well, except for Nabokov who said he wouldn’t speak to a teammate anymore if that happened to him, which is understandable. Anyway, just thought I’d halfheartedly play devil’s advocate.

    Ugh, how did I get sucked into making a serious comment on this blog and on topic at that. I feel dirty.

  11. jtbourne says:

    Minus one, JBrown. I thought I could always count on your to lighten the mood.

    But to response, equally as seriously – I’m more in awe than angry. The initial act was breathtaking, but the follow up reaction (like he hit a bum with his car drunk driving at two a.m. but thinks it isn’t worth owning up to a bums death for jail time, so he sits in “what the fuck did I just do” mode at the bar drinking whiskey) is the worst part. It’s so callous.

  12. Madeleine says:

    20%? jeez, that’s average! I’m around that. My Dad’s a tank though, he’s 52 and under 14.

    Oh, and as an RA (Resident Assistant) I’m going to make the case that we don’t suck, but drunk first years do.

  13. Kerstin says:

    I always wonderes about the radio callers and i think the point is not to hear the song you like but to make as many others as possible have to listen to the song you like.

  14. John says:

    Come on, you enjoyed sleeping in the bathroom with the new meowmix, admit it. Been there, done that myself.

    As much as I’ve been a dog-guy all my life, we adopted our own meowmix some years ago, and he is the balls. With cats though, you often wonder who is the owner and who is the pet. I think the roles switch on a fairly regular basis. I have come to realize that there is a very good reason why there is no TV show called “The Cat Whisperer”.

  15. Jbrown says:

    Yeah I completely agree, it’s really Ballard’s reaction that puts it over the top “woah. i just assaulted my goalie. i’m out of here.” You get the impression that if he’d had a smoke grenade he would have used it. Getting back to my initial point though is that teammates and coaches etc aren’t publicly that upset about it. It’s all “emotions run high” and “he feels terrible.” I’m not saying people shouldn’t be mad, I’m mostly just surprised more people in the league aren’t.

    So what do you think of Henry? You’re going with Darius aren’t you? I can feel it.

  16. Neil says:

    He doesn’t seem to have an “oh shit” or “whoops” moment where he suddenly realizes, in terror, that he didn’t hit post, that was goalie head. He looks right at Vokoun once he realizes what happened and doesn’t even flinch. WHO SKATES AWAY FROM A PLAYER THEY JUST ACCIDENTALLY CLUBBED IN THE HEAD??? Seriously, who does that!?!

    These guys are publicly snowing the media with the “it’s a horrible mistake and he obviously feels terrible line” and dealing with it themselves (I don’t blame them). Honestly, the tape is so, so bad in this situation that I’m almost inclined to think there is something we are missing. Can Ballard really be this big of a shit head? Maybe Vokoun told everyone he thinks Ballard’s dog is ugly?

  17. Beer:30 says:

    I think I saw a get better card for that.

    Sorry I clubbed you in the face with a huge stick…

    …. but you should have stopped the puck.
    Dude, you should be apologizing to me.

  18. Dan n St Paul says:

    your kitty meows all night cuz he’s scared/pissed, my cat Boogard flings himself at the bedroom door all night trying to get in so he can sit on my face. Keep the kitty in the bathroom with the litterbox during the day and he will adjust quickly. Cats adjust to small spaces much quicker than large spaces. it will help him.

  19. Will77 says:

    Dan: Good thing you named him Boogard and not Ballard, he would come into your bedroom and break a toothbrush on your face.

    Wow, that empty net thing blew my mind, in all the time I’ve played/watched hockey I never thought of that. Makes sense though, if you get scored on when you’re on the PP with the extra man, you get a minus and the other guys get a plus.

  20. Char says:

    I dunno, when they showed Ballard on the bench afterward he looked like he was literally in shock. Not everybody reacts to trauma (especially of the self-induced type) in the same way. Some people go crazy; others go catatonic. Seriously, unless the guy is a psychopath, he must feel horrendous. As he should; there’s zero excuse for what he did.

    As for his teammates, it appears (just guessing here) that nobody really knew what the hell happened. We had the benefit of a slow motion replay, but if you’re out there, all you know is that your goalie is suddenly down and bleeding for no apparent reason. I doubt anyone actually witnessed the incident first-hand.

    And Justin, sleeping with your kitty is just too damn cute for words. But you might have, instead, crated him (along with his litterbox) in your bedroom.

    Then again, we’ve had kittens, and never thought to close them up with their boxes, just showed them where they were. They’re smarter (and cleaner) than you think.

  21. minnesotagirl71 says:

    The team should privately kick Ballard’s ass and make his life miserable. But I can understand why they are not publicly slamming him.

    Re: dumb athlete ads – it is pathetic. Being a spokesperson for hair color or weight loss makes them look like they are desperate to earn some cash. Think how much money they made over their careers – did they not save ANY for the very long retirement faced by professional athletes? Invincible young men making six or seven figures a year…I think all rookies should be required to have a financial advisor before they get handed their first paycheck.

    So sweet that you slept on the bathroom floor with kitty. You might end up being his chosen one….

  22. Lyera says:

    Just make sure you keep the kitty box in the same place forever and always or else the little meowmix may decide to continue going in that one spot sans litter. I have two kitties and trust me, that was the biggest mistake I ever made.

  23. Blake says:

    Lol, it’s always funny the “extra” videos you get with a Youtube embedded video. These two were linked via your Pothole commercial. Enjoy :)

    There were more, but I’ll stop there. We all know you can waste hours linkclicking on Youtube!

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