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Getting The Twit-ch



Today’s blog is brought to you by Pete’s Party Palace, located at 6492 Fairweather Drive, entirely because it’s an excuse to show one of my thousands of moose pictures from college.


Did you know that there is a group of people on the PGA tour that refer to our chubby-go-lucky pal Phil Mickelson as FIGJAM?  Not the coolest nickname in the world, but it’s also a little mysterious, right?  I assume you’re thinking it’s something about his need for a man-zier, but if you were, you’d be wrong. 

It stands for “F–k I’m Good, Just Ask Me”.

In a related story, Phil has apparently been seen grooming his back in preperation to be Tiger’s doormat at the Masters this year.

Yet still, I love Phil.  He’s allllmost entertaining enough to make me watch tournaments that Tiger isn’t in (okay, he is).  I’ve just never seen a sport where second place is so far behind first for such an extended period of time.  I guess Federer was dec. for a while there.  FIGJAM must want to give Tigers other leg a “stress fracture” so he can actually be the big dog he apparently thinks he is.


Cool picture Tigs, just keep that hat on.  I think Tiger’s been feeling the recession a bit too, just in not in the pocket book.

Is anything more fun to watch than the Cleveland Cavalawesomes do their mimed displays of pure team chemistry?  I just wrote a draft on team chemistry, and Cleveland is clearly built on it (plus they have that James guy).  I haven’t seen routines like that since touchdown celebrations in the ’90′s.  Do we have a clip for that?  We don’t?  Hmm. Okay, just show Lebron.

That works.

Pardon The Interuption, or PTI as it’s better known, is the best talk sports program on TV today.  Its so good it makes other shows unwatchable.  The chemistry between Kornheiser and Wilbon is so great that they can argue without belittling the other guy, and name-call without sincerity.  Plus, they kinda know what they’re talking about.  Tony Rially is great and Kornheiser waves a Canadian flag at the end.  Sold.

On the topic of TV, I caught a lil highlight package on the NHL network the other day, and saw two plays that excited me to a questionable degree.  Ribeiro goes through his legs, and Kopitar looks bored scoring a one-handed breakaway goal.  A few weeks earlier Ribeiro scored on his own one-handed shootout move. God I love the new NHL.  Here’s the through the legger:


Okay, now.  Twitter.  Stupid Twitter.  I’m at the age where I’m fighting against most technology, because even though I know it’s great, I can’t afford it.  And if I could, it’d just change to something cooler the next day.  So I tried to plant my feet on any new social networks, or popular cultural waves, but the current is pretty strong.  I added my Twitter page to my blog (up to two followers), but I’m just not so sure about it.  I don’t even own a phone fancy enough to update it from anywhere other than my couch.

I can’t fathom the attention this stupid site is getting.  CNN reports it as real news, SportsCenter gets its updates from it, and 13 year girls get to let everyone know why Ben and  Tristan were sooo stupid in home room today.

The only reason I want it is because it seems to be at the crest of some new media wave, and I’m occasionally funny.  It seems like an opportunity to entertain.  The problem is, I hate the damn thing.  I don’t mind being alone, lost, and not thought about.  So it’s on my readers.  I’m tempted to take it off.  Do you hate Twitter?  Like it?  Should I buy in?  What’s your stance?


[polldaddy poll=1505930]


11 Responses to “Getting The Twit-ch”
  1. Tony says:

    Just got it to and don’t have a phone for it either. If you follow the right things it can be entertaining. My favorite was brianburke ( or the fake brianburke. He was hilarious and had him hooked up to my phone (it will just text you the updates) for many laughs. Example: Ran into Jay Bouwmeester. Very patriotic young man. Told him I’d be calling to wish him a happy Canada Day on July 1 at exactly 12:01.

    I also follow Snoop Doggs twippers, if Snoops in, I’m in dogg.

    Plus, I’m one of your two followers. Don’t disappoint.

  2. Amanda says:

    twitter is the most ridiculous and pointless website i think ive ever seen! like you said, “no one cares why science is sooo stupid today.”

  3. Ja9 says:

    When I first heard about Twitter I almost threw myself in front of a NYC bus. I’ve been a pretty loyal user of Facebook & AOL Instant Messenger, but lately even those are starting to piss me off. (Everyone’s away message/status is either 1) some “woe is me” BS that people should keep to themselves or seek professional help regarding, 2) an exaggerated account of how fabulous their life is (people may be interested to some degree, but we don’t need to know everything all the GD time), or 3) a humorous yet nonsensical insight (which I can tolerate because they add some humor to an otherwise crazy world). A medium in which the entire purpose is to constantly update others about your life is a little too self-indulgent for me, only because it contributes to the impression that life isn’t worth living unless other people know your every move and have the ability to comment on your activities. I’m afraid it’ll make people forget about really living life.

    I too have avoided getting a “smart phone” (I also hate that term, but I’ll spare everyone that rant) both because of the cost and because I intend to preserve that certain delayed gratification involved in reading emails after a day out or chatting with friends who you haven’t seen in a while. It’s also disturbing that cell phone users keep getting younger and younger. I’m now officially one of those people who lapses into “When I was your age…” stories when I find out that my younger cousins/family-friends are getting cell phones and signing up for Facebook at the age of 11. “We only had dial-up internet! There WAS NO Facebook! And I didn’t get a cell phone until I was 18!”

  4. Amanda says:

    i guess im to much of an avid facebook user. but that brianburke or “fake brianburke” sounds entertaining!

  5. Hockeyman says:

    I have an iPhone and dont ue it mch for twitter. too many other cool apps. I prefer tweetdeck on the computer.

    Tiger is the greatest golfer. I like Phil, I like when he wins, but no one is as exciting to watch as Tiger. The ratings for last weekend were the highest the PGA has seen since? Last year’s US Open. I watched Tiger work on Saturday in person. You would hurt yourself trying to swing like him. Seriously.

    PTI is THE best show on sports since the Dan and Keith days of SportsCenter. No doubt about it. I also like that Tony kept a UCF helmet behind him for his daughter.

  6. Eric says:


    I found your blog via somewhere else (Puck Daddy maybe?), and I’ve pretty much been in stitches with every post. Keep up the good work!

    As far as Twitter goes, I only use it to update my Facebook status. :) But twitter is fun when someone like Trent Reznor uses it to shoot from the hip and completely trash Chris Cornell’s new album. Now *that’s* entertaining.

  7. Travelchic59 says:

    I love that thing LeBron does. There’s something so cool about it.

    I am so old school I have a phone that has camera capabilities and I have no clue how to use it. My husband just got a new iphone which looks pretty cool, but he’s a techno geek. If I had some patience, I could probably have fun learning how to use it.

    As for the myspace, facebook, twitter thing – I choose to just ignore them all. I think most people need to get a life and find something to do away from the computer. There’s so much life to live away from the screen. JMO

  8. JD says:

    I am opposed to twitter..are tweet’s not just glorified facebook updates?

    Watched the back 9 on Sunday and can say I was literally on the edge of my couch biting my nails while Tiger was standing over that putt on 18. Words can’t do that guy justice. Greatest mental specimen of all time. I consider myself a serious golf fan, but I really have trouble watching golf (minus Majors, WGC events, Ryder/Presidents Cups) if he’s not involved.

    A note on the Cavs – not only is it the pregame stuff with those guys – I watched them on the weekend and even the announcers pointed out how the whole bench was on their feet when they were up by 15 late in the 4th. You can feel that team feed off their home crowd too – fun to watch. I feel fortunate to be able to watch ‘Bron enter his prime, and be at an age that I can appreciate what an absolute freak he is.

  9. ms.conduct says:

    I’m creeped out by the affection with which Tiger is gazing upon his bicep. Of course, if had guns like that, I’d probably do the same thing. So… carry on.

    Anti-Twitter here, but then I was anti-FB forever and ever and now I dig it, so what the hell do I know.

  10. Tony says:

    Funny twitter video I randomly got emailed today

  11. Pete says:

    The media thought it necessary to contact Burke to find out if it was really him tweeting. He also reportedly said that he would sue the guy doing it.

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