The Front Nine (Sports Thoughts)
Posted by jtbourne on February 9, 2010 · 25 Comments
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Before we begin, a video: The very second Tracy Porter makes the interception and runs it back for a touchdown, everyone knows the game is over. Take a couple second gander at how this bar in New Orleans felt about that:
Um, they were excited.
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Alrighty – my TBAF (To Blog About Files) are stuffed full. It’s time to play 18 holes – nine today, nine tomorrow. Let’s tee off:
#1)
Charging is defined as taking more than three strides (or maybe it’s two, whatever) before hitting a guy. The problem with that definition is, IT’S HOCKEY. You’re taking strides to get everywhere. When a hit becomes available, you’ve been taking strides, so the question becomes… How long do you have to coast to nullify a charge? If you’re hustling on the backcheck, and some guy starts to cut to the middle, how are you supposed to skate to legally be able to separate the man from the puck? I think we need to make charging more about intent than about a physical description of the play.
Affectionately known as "Snatch". Seriously. Like, the radio guy calls him that on air.
#2)
For the first time this season, I checked out some ECHL stats yesterday, and was pleasantly surprised. Turns out my boy Ryan Kinasewich is leading the league in points, which is awesome. It’s the guys sixth ECHL year, and he’s got a million ECHL points, but I guess AHL teams are like… Nope, he just scores too consistently, it’s really annoying. He wasn’t drafted. He doesn’t fit our mold of ”big and young.” I just checked – he’s played 264 ECHL games over six seasons, with 362 points (156 goals, 32 so far this year). He’s still only 26.
#3)
I haven’t gotten around to doing the research yet, but I think it’s a fair question to discuss: I haven’t seen Ilya Kovalchuk play much (like the rest of you), but everyone loves to spout that he’s a defensive liability. I’ve looked for it in the past few games, and haven’t seen it.
He’s a career -84 or so, but has played on mostly bad Atlanta teams, playing the other teams top line or top shutdown line. From personal experience, I can tell you the team and line you’re on makes all the difference in that category, and it’s only fair to judge a player’s +/- against those teammates. What was Atlanta’s even strength goal differential while he was there, -400? No way someone that big and talented can be as bad as I keep hearing on D. I’m just not buying it.
Far too one-handable.
#4)
No league does a championship trophy like the NHL. Are you shitting me, Stanley Cup? How perfect are you? All tall like that, with a nice weighty feel (I’m told). It’s a substantial prize worth hoisting over your head. And with all the mystique around touching it, and the keeper of the cup in white gloves, it just makes a guy think: the NFL should be ashamed of itself. This is America. Bigger is better, right EntireCountry? That’s your damn sport. Now go build a better goddamn trophy and do the name Lombardi some justice!
#5)
Brooks Orpik (Pittsburgh) and Andrew Macdonald (New York Islanders) look so much alike it’s bizarre. I will continue hammering this point home until I get an amen.
Fine, maybe these pics don’t do it perfect justice, but just wait til A-Mac lets it get stubbly. It’s boggling. The only reason I’m not making “twin” claims is that A-Mac doesn’t do that prolonged, distant stare that Orpik favors. Thankfully.
Goal and an apple vs. STL
#6)
For forwards, playing well without getting points sucks. Your point total from a given game rarely tell the story of how you played, so it sucks when you make all the right decisions and don’t get rewarded. Stastny finally got a couple points last night, but he’s been playing better than his production.
#7)
A few nights back, I was watching a Red Wings game in which Bertuzzi snapped his head back to fake getting high-sticked (a move I didn’t think people actually did without some level of contact). He successfully drew the penalty (even “checked” for blood!), putting the Wings dangerous powerplay unit on the ice. A day later, I saw Alexander Semin to something similar.
So my question is: if we suspend players when they do something we don’t want in the game (cheap hits), why shouldn’t we suspend players for that play, in obvious circumstances? They’re cheating, and we want that out of the game, right? I’m not talking embellishments. I mean, “dude, that stick never got above your logo”. I’m talking about sitting beside Bertuzzi and watching the play with him and going, “Look – you intentionally tried to fuck over the refs and the legitimacy of the game there. We don’t need 10 year olds in the NHL. Go sit in the corner for a few nights and think about what you’ve done.”
#8)
Bob Gainey stepped down. As DownGoesBrown tweeted “Gainey “voluntarily” stepped down the way I “voluntarily” leave the bar after the bouncer tells me he’s kicking me out”. Thought that was the best analogy EVER.
Yeahh-eya-eyaeya, it's a party in the USA.
#9)
I want a golfer to write a tell-all book. And nothing to do with Tiger. I just imagine it’s such an interesting lifestyle. Do some guys fly private planes, and some fly coach? There must be such a discrepancy between the quality of life for the top and bottom golfers. Who “makes it rain”, who’s a cheap prick (Ben Crane right? Has to be Ben Crane), who are the A-holes (Phil? Really? FIGJAM!), who’s a drunk (Anthony Kim, eh?), all that stuff. I need to know!
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So there you have it! The front nine ended on a golf topic. Chime in on what you know about, want to know about, or just type some words into the comment box. We’re a big happy sports (okay, largely hockey) discussion site. Dive in.
I'm a hockey player turned writer. After playing for Alaska Anchorage in the WCHA (NCAA), I carried on with an NHL tryout (New York Islanders in 2007) before spending a couple seasons in the AHL/ECHL (last year was 2008-09). My father, Bob Bourne, won four Stanley Cups with the Islanders in the '80's, as did my fiancee's dad, Clark Gillies. I'm now the web editor for theScore's hockey blog "Backhand Shelf."
If diving can be called, I don’t know why faking a high stick cant be called. I also wish the goalie trapazoid would go away. But thats another story.
Granted this was one game, but here is some good Koy D. http://www.birdwatchersanonymous.com/2009/12/5/1186128/kovalchuks-lax-defense-aids
Macdonald does look a bit like Orpik but you’re right about the thousand yard stare. The world should be thankful Brooks has a steady job in the NHL. If he wasn’t playing hockey I fear he’d be filling the crawlspace of his house with the bodies of drifters and hitchhikers.
Most guys on the big tour have it pretty good obviously some better than others. When you start to see the real descepency is when you go to the developmental tours. Guys on the canadian tour literally live out of there cars or share motor homes between a few of them. The best part about it is that these guys have to play well or else they dont make a lick, well other than sponsor cash which you absolutely have to have because expenses are high even when your living with absolutely fuck all. The lifestyle is sick if you can keep making ends meet but scraping nickles has to get tough after a while, unless you make it.
Re #6 ,
Your right on the money. Sat. nite Lee Stempniak played a killer game with no fanfare because he went pointless. Being an old goalie i am more enamored with players who play at both ends of the ice. A particular favorite last year was Ville Peltonen he played his tail off.
Re#7 as the idiot Bertuzzi would say “it is what it is”
That video is awesome – I know I was up on my feet, pumping my fist and screaming like a fool when that happened.
I think Brooks might be a little stronger in the chin… I heard he was pertty upset about Semin’s antics. I read that he had a few choice words for the ref afterwards too, but I can’t find any video of it (it would be entertaining, if not scary, to see him on a tirade as he’s usually pretty collected).
From what I hear the more interesting ‘lifestyle on the road’ questions are about the caddies. With the exception of an elite few I heard they pile into hotel rooms and tear up the town. For anyone who has ever worked or hung out at a golf course with a caddy program knows these guys are frikkin hillarious.
Orpik and MacDonald do look alike! But – what’s with the hockey player open mouth stare that shows up in so many photos? Is hockey the official sport of mouth breathers? Take a sudafed or 12 to open up those sinuses.
I have no doubt that faking the contact on the high stick happens quite frequently, but I wonder: do guys sometimes pull their heads back not because they’re faking contact, but because they see a stick flying near their face and it’s simply a reflex action?
So I know this isn’t the reason you put up the picture of Andy Mac – but since when were NHL teams putting corporate sponsorship logos on the uniforms?
Wait, ready for your mind to be blown? If you combine Brooks Orpik and Andrew Macdonald’s names, you get Andrew Orpik. … Which is the name of Brooks’s brother… Who ALSO looks just like the two of them. http://www.echl.com/upload_images/AndrewOrpikMug.jpg
I would make a Venn Diagram of this, if I wasn’t at work and supposed to be, you know, working.
Haha, I had a good laugh at the Venn diagram joke, I think partially because it was the only thing I learned in “intro to logic” (a real class), so I feel like I get an inside joke or something.
Too bad Macdonald does not play mean like Orpik!!!
Deirdre – Thats an AHL Bridgeport Jersey.
I see your point about your friend never getting ice in the AHL. I don’t know how many of those clubs really develop their own personnel, I would imagine that if a guy becomes a career AHLer its because he is a castoff from an NHL team. The same thing is happening/happened to guys like Corey Locke (390/308 gms/pts) and Alexandre Giroux (who has a 60 goal in 69 games AHL season to his credit). Giroux is an odd one, hes a big body centreman. Why couldn’t the caps use one of those?
MikeB – How do you feel about Darren Haydar’s AHL stats: http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/pdisplay.php?pid=45123.
Dude has been puttin’ it down, leading or near-leading the league for years… but apparently, “doesn’t have what it takes”. Maybe he had relations with Mrs. Bettman or something….
point # 7
They used to send videos around the league of any players that dove in recent games, the thought was that it would embarrass the players and I’m pretty sure there were fines if you were caught a couple times. They could easily do the same for cases like those where the player is trying to draw a penalty. That stuff is too football-ish (rest of the world football not American) and I’d love to get it out of the game.
Re:point # 7
They used to send videos around the league of any players that dove in recent games, the thought was that it would embarrass the players and I’m pretty sure there were fines if you were caught a couple times. They could easily do the same for cases like those where the player is trying to draw a penalty. That stuff is too football-ish (rest of the world football not American) and I’d love to get it out of the game.
He and Corey Locke are a lot alike. Both smaller guys who had great Jr. careers (One in the NCAA and the other in the OHL) and probably would have much better shots at making it big now where guys like Pat Kane can excel. Who apparently is smaller in person then you think. Although that may have something to do with most hockey players being rather large.
Re: Point # 2
Look at Jason Krog’s stats, another guy that absolutely shreds the AHL. Does Umile prepare guys to be professional AHL’ers? There are plenty of teams(Hurricanes, Oilers, Thrashers, Coyotes…just kidding) who are already making tee times for mid april. Why not give one of these guys a shot on a second line (Not the fourth so their time in the show will be an actual representation of their skill) and see what they can do.
Re: Your quote for the Anthony Kim pic
I just got that song out of my head, thanks for putting it back where it belongs, much appreciated. (sarcasm)
Wow, those guys really do look alike.
Re:
#1 – They can’t even get “elbowing” right. How are they supposed to add a layer to “charging?”
#2 – Maybe he plays D like Kovalchuck.
#3 – Kinda like Kangas Kahn. He plays no D. Wait, his D plays no D and he gets the rap.
#4 – Worst trophy in USA? NBA. That thing is fugly. Worst trophy in the world? World Cup. C’mon. You’re supposed to be the “world’s game” and your trophy is dwarfed by Little League participation medals?
#5 – How do you notice these things?
#6 – It’s called being a lineman/fullback/catcher/d-man. Points are what Sports Center is all about. (Makes me think of the mini-rant on dunks as a Top Play you had a while back.)
#7 – Or we could just let Bertuzzi take an actual high stick once a day for a week. Duped official gets first crack.
#8 – It’s not you, it’s me…
#9 – How ’bout a reality show that follows some golfers around for a while. Shawn Kemp can host. (Or John Daly if the Kemp reference is too obscure.)
It does suck that a guy can’t get a break because he didn’t get drafted or fit someone’s mold.
Love the thinking, “Lets stick with our fourth rounder from 4 years ago. Sure the other guy’s got a million points, but our pick is learning how to skate backwards!” Very frustrating to watch. It does make you appreciate a story like Matt Moulson.
Love the idea of punishing idiots like Bertuzzi. Glad to see Todd is enjoying his second chance and being an upstanding citizen.
http://www.nhl.com/ice/page.htm?id=26356
There are fines in place for diving/embellishment. Whether they get enforced or not is another story entirely.
Re: Charging, they definitely need to update the rules, but the point of doing that is kind of negated by their refusal to use the existing ones that do make sense. Players leave their feet all the time on hits (Ovechkin comes to mind, but also Cooke, Tootoo, Hordichuk, and pretty much any other guy that hits a lot), and refs call the charge about 10% of the time. NHL refs seem to use their own secret set of rules most of the time (kinda like Vancouver’s cops….), reading the rulebook just makes it more confusing. Remember when the parts about hooking were too fuzzy to read for a decade or two? If the powers that be think charging is good for business, POOF, it’s legal until somebody needs a make-up call.
Re: Bertuzzi and embellishing, it definitely sucks and Todd is an easy guy to hate (though I don’t), but don’t kill the messenger (I’ve seen Ovechkin go down in a heap because he’s trying to draw a phantom call). I think players fake calls flat-out because a call for faking is rare, and sometimes refs see a guy fall out of the corner of their eye and call the closest opponent for tripping because he figures he owes the team a PP. If you see a player throw his head back but don’t see a high-stick, don’t blow your friggin whistle. It’s not uncommon for players to get smacked and skate to the bench with a mouthful of blood while the coach/team screams at the ref for the missed call, so if it’s “I didn’t see it so I can’t call it” in that case, why are the same officials taking the stance of “well if his head flew back he must have gotten hit” in other situations?
Re: Kovy on D, from the few clips I’ve seen, it looks like Kovy figures he’s got one job out there and it ain’t back-checking! Maybe Jacques can change that.
For lookalikes…nothing closer than Jokinen and Morgan Spurlock (“Oversize Me”)
With all due respect to the Gopher dude, I too wanna play nine holes. God, I wanna play ONE hole. Stupid winter…
1) They call a charge when the guy leaves his feet. If he doesn’t it’s boarding. Whatever… 2) Snatch can come play for the Oilers. Hell, his mother can come play for the Oilers. 3) Kovalchuk has immense pure talent but he’s got no try. I wouldn’t waste 25 cents on him, let alone 25% of my cap space. 4) Justin, take note that when your daddy kissed you goodnight as a wee lad, he did so with lips that kissed Stanley (not that there’s anything wrong with that). The NFL should hang its head in shame. They make a new Lombardi every year. Tsk Tsk. 5) Amen. 6) I hear what you’re saying but your (employer) will know what’s what. That’s all that matters. Until contract time. Then same empolyer will point at your lack of points… 7) If you recall, the league started to suspend players a couple/three years ago for the actions you speak of. Now they’ve stopped. That’s sooo NHL. Bertuzzi’s still playing? How come?
Bob Gainey is less animated than a sheet of drywall. Go play the piano Bob. Go. 9) Sure, you can read about John Daly’s escapades but the real dirt ain’t gonna surface. The PGA is a brotherhood and likes it that way. I mean, who knew Tigger couldn’t drive accurately OFF the course either?
Cool blog Justin (See. I called you JUSTIN)!