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Flight of Fancy



Well, here I am, back in NY.

I must have cashed in a bunch of hard-earned airport karma — Due to some computer malfunction, I ended up with first class seats.  Have you flown that way before?  My God.

The bathroom had a wood floor.  The dinner was great.  Drinks were included.  Movies were free.  They give your confidence a light massage, and your ego a mild boost.  It’s wonderful.

I’m sure that bankrupted my Airport Karma Account, so I’m looking forward to seat 36B between two sumo-enthusiasts on the way home.


So, I wonder if I’ve ever really ruined some air-travellers day following a day I’ve flown:

I consistently use the vomit bag for my gum.  And, of course, I don’t take the time to fully open the bag.  I just jam it in the top.

Can you imagine the snowballing misery of having to puke on the plane, and not being able to get the bag open wide enough to get all the “refund” in?

Wonder how that’s affecting my airport karma.


So, I sat by an intervention guy on the plane, a real one.

This guy was flying into JFK, getting into a car, and driving to some bad 15 year old kids house in Connecticut –  Waking him up at like three or four when he gets there, and dragging him back to Utah for some wilderness rehab time.

He used words like “full nelson” and “clean” and “Mormon”.  Yeah, nothing’ll straighten out a misguided youth like spending a week in the woods with a Mormom.

I waited ’til he fell asleep to order my second drink.


4 Responses to “Flight of Fancy”
  1. ms.conduct says:

    I’m in tears over the “snowballing misery” line and associated mental picture.

    And yes, that gum thing is murdering your airport karma. That’s what Skymall is for.

  2. Officer Koharski says:

    I hope that kid escapes from the crazy Mormon kidnapper you’re describing. He’s going to make that kid his wife or something.

  3. Marc says:

    his THIRD wife.

  4. Alanna says:

    Justin–just wanted to drop a note that I recently found your blog and it has kept me in stitches! (though it is seriously affecting my productivity as I read through the archives…) You have a real knack for creative writing and I hope you can capitalize on it. Anywho, best of luck to you and Bri in your adventures!
    Oh, and color-changing Fun Dip most certainly exists…had some last week!

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