…And The Dust Settles
Posted by jtbourne on November 4, 2009 · 28 Comments
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Well… that was quite the ride, wasn’t it? Man.
Did you read the comments section on USA Today? I didn’t have the slightest clue that an article titled “It’s time to end the use of gay slurs in hockey” could spur nearly 300 comments from people basically saying “no… no it’s not.”
Who knew gay rights was such a polarizing issue? …wait… everyone? Ah. ….My bad.
My apologies to those of you who took the time to write me personal, tear-inducing emails, only to have me big-dog you with no response. I’ll try to get to more of them today, but if I’m unable to, just know it was good to hear from the side that didn’t want me jammed between mushrooms and peppers and made into some sort of hate-kabob.
I have had some contact with some people in the hockey community who are openly gay as a result of this -- ESPN is picking up the major story that’s come of it, so I’ll link to that when it shows.
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So then, today’s blog is a dicey one. I contemplated running excerpts from some of the great emails I received (one pointed me to this list of gay athletes. Sheryl Swoopes? …does writing about equality mean I can’t make fun of the WNBA now? I’ll give it a few days). Then I got worried about jtbourne.com becoming a super-serious website, so I thought about a throwback blog where I run pictures of kittens “nom”ing food, but I realized that might pour a splash or ten of fuel on the “Justin Bourne is gayer than Will and Grace” fire that was lit after my article dropped.
Or haven't I...
I haven't had a role in years...
I was a bit stunned by the response at times, thinking …Me? Run a serious website? Keep in mind, it was here that I once speculated that the Pope Benedict XVI was actually John Ratzenberger (Cliff from Cheers) in character. I thought by writing the piece I did, I was just running an observation that would make the majority of people go “…well, duh”. It seems that wasn’t the case.
In conclusion, I think I’ve said my piece. And I meant what I said. I’m just glad that I may have advanced the conversation a tiny little bit, and I’m proud of so many of my readers. The neat part, if you noticed, is that the USA Today comment board was littered with hate, while mine was soaked in compassion. It’s with good cause that I love this website.
I don’t want anyone to think I’m shying away from the subject -- if you want to discuss it, I’m open to it. But this is a sports blog, predominently hockey, so without further ado, lets talk about some goddamn hockey, please!
Oh wait -- one kitten picture first.
Yup, iz pikture time.
Okay, got that off my chest. some puck thoughts:
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I had a friend make the pre-season prediction of forty for Stamkos. I wasn’t sure what to think. Doesn’t look so bad now, does it?
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but acting?
Maybe Phil hasn't missed games to injury...
Is it just me, or does Phil Kessel look like the guy who plays Phoebe’s brother in “Friends”? You know the guy right? Anyone? Ahhh hell, here’s a picture —-->
I wonder if “Phoebe’s brother” has ever had his thinker re-wired by Matthias Ohlund?
‘
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I’d like to thank Carey Price for single-handed assasinating my fantasy hockey team. Again Carey, thanks for that.
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I had a question posed by a reader than I’m unable to answer: What do refs talk about between intermissions? Are they targeting certain guys? Justifying calls? Discussing errors to “make up”? Any refs out there care to handle that one?
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And last, a joke from Tom, in Kelowna: “What do Mike Komisarek and Thunder Bay, Ontario have in common? — They’ll both be minus 25 by Christmas”. Awww, not funny Tom, Mike’s a great guy. Okay, it’s a little funny. Best of luck to him in turning it around, he’s clearly capable of it.
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As much as I can change the topic on my own blog, I’m looking forward to reading the emails I’m sure I’ll be continuing to get today -- I’ll respond as best I can. Thanks for reading!
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(UPDATED) I had a fellow blogger send me this video today -- my teammate from last season with the Idaho Steelheads is having a great year in the Dallas system. Skip to the 50 second mark and check out what Climie’s up to… (thanks bud. I’ll write a whole piece about how you deserve Turco’s spot and send it everywhere I can. I’m sure they’ll listen)
(You’re all dying to make a joke about their living arrangement, but are too nervous after the past few entries, right? I sense it)
I'm a hockey player turned writer. After playing for Alaska Anchorage in the WCHA (NCAA), I carried on with an NHL tryout (New York Islanders in 2007) before spending a couple seasons in the AHL/ECHL (last year was 2008-09). My father, Bob Bourne, won four Stanley Cups with the Islanders in the '80's, as did my fiancee's dad, Clark Gillies. I'm now the web editor for theScore's hockey blog "Backhand Shelf."
Dear Jt, been to your blog the first time today and just can say *Thumbs up*.
Really good work und already so much stuff a fan like to know from “behind the glass”
Thank you so much for it!
Concerning Phoebee’s brother: Guess it is Mr “Giovanni Ribisi”
Concerning the 300 comments… just shows that there is demand to talk about it.
Nevertheless I’m with those who says “Let’s focus on hockey”, don’t care what they do off the ice…
But what do I know
Again, thanks for the blog;
I’ll be back
Greetings from Germany*
Kerstin
*so pls excuse my maybe-not-100%-correct-English
What do refs talk about between intermissions?
They talk about the hot blond whose sitting three rows back from the penalty box and how she might not fit into her shirt much longer if she keeps jumping up and down. They talk about their youngest kid’s latest adventure with shoving gross things up his nose. They talk about how if So-and-so makes one more sarcastic comment, “Just one more, I swear,” they’re going to reach out and slap him one.
I referee minor hockey so our intermissions are pretty short (under a minute). But we quickly talk about the game, ask the other guys if we’ved missed anything. We’ll comment on a great save or goal, and funny incidents. We’ll also comment on the best player on the ice or any player causing trouble behind the play and after whistles.
JB…
After a couple of seasons away from officiating, I’m back at it in Westbank. Intermissions are pretty calm. I always ask the guys about my positioning, as this is usually the biggest concern among coaches and players “who get it”. If an official is in the proper position to make a call, there is generally very little flack from coaches and players. Trust me, the focus is on being proficient. At 47 years of age, my challenge early in the season is more on the physical side, so I better be damn sure I’m into it from the neck up. And one of the fascinating things about officiating are the conversations with the players on the ice, usually at face-offs. It is seldom negative, in fact, I have had numerous players apologize to me for the behaviour of the coaches and their fans. Like I said, there are those “who get it”…
Wait – you don’t actually have Carey Price ON your fantasy team, do you?
Late in the extreme on responding to your column at USA Today (which was wonderful), but just wanted to add a couple of comments.
First of all, the vicious responses it garnered are unsurprising. When Theo Fleury wrote that he didn’t want to let anyone know what happened to him because many people would blame HIM, initially I scoffed. How could any human being do such a thing? But if you read some of the on-line comments responding to stories written about his book, you’ll see that he was right. We like to think that as a society we’ve advanced tremendously in the past century, but there are still plenty of bigoted, purely vicious people out there.
(I got a wry laugh out of the “oh, it’s only sticks and stones” comments. Yeah, tell that to Jackie Robinson.)
Secondly, you must have seen Eric Anderson’s on-line interview with a closeted NHL player, right? It’s most heartbreaking, IMHO, in that he says he thinks often about coming out, but just can’t bring himself to do it. Here’s the link, if you or anyone here has not seen it:
http://docs.google.com/View?docid=ajbq4wmv4zpr_113dj297kd8
I do hope it happens someday, but I think you touched on it — it’s going to take someone who’s a star, comfortable in his own skin, and not afraid to suffer the slings and arrows. I have a feeling that someone is still a kid.
Lastly, you’re telling me Phil Kessel died in “Saving Private Ryan”?
haha, I love the video about the two hockey players living together…seems like they´re a little family… it´s cool if it works out that way, but I also know some hockeyplayers who´ve been playing in france (ligue magnus) as imports and one of them just didn´t get along with his flatmate…I have to confess, that guy was pretty strange from time to time…
just imagine, being away (really far away) from home in a foreign country, where you don´t understand the language, the culture is quite different and your family and friends are thousands of kilometres away….don´t you already feel lonely enough??? and in addition to that the person you have to live with just freaks you out… how should you ever be comfortable with your new life in such a situation??? and in the worst case these feelings of discomfort take control over everything you do…especially your on-ice-performance which again reflects on your paycheck…what drags you down even more…and so on…
I experienced these problems myself… not in hockey but another sport that requiered being away from home most of the time.
I have a lot of respect for all those professional athletes who have the mental strength to overcome these issues and don´t let them affect their performance!
That’s a great prediction……from the all star break till now (including the world championships) Stamkos has 37 goals and 59 points in 60 games . Not toooooo shabby. Why wasn’t he invited to Team Canada’s tryouts? Because Milan Lucic can fight and get a point every second game? Because Danny Cleary is a really good third liner for Detroit? Or was it because when we are facing Ovechkin, Malkin and Kovalchuk we’d like Andy Mcdonald to get us a quick goal to get back in the game? I wish I was at the meeting when they decided to invite those guys over Stamkos, Spezza and Savard.
And I’m not saying that just because I have Stamkos, Savard and tried to trade for Spezza in the BBHL.
You were all over Stamkos this year Beckmann, I remember thinking to myself that you drafted him awfully high in th BBHL considering who else was available, but you’re looking pretty smart now.
Yay kittenz!!!
Remember that one episode of the X-Files where the guy that played Pheobe’s brother could make things catch on fire with his MIND? That ruled.
Just fyi, Milan Lucic can do a whole lot more than fight and get a point every second game, just as Marc Savard isn’t a one-dimensional player. Highlights are no way to judge a hockey player.
Price is killing me in one pool I’m in where you pick players at the beginning of the season and don’t get any trades (2 wins, I believe). I was content to wait it out and let Halak have his moment but after hearing Price talk after the game last night I’m worried about his confidence and that two-way contract (I could be wrong there, but he’s on his entry level deal still and I think those are 2-way?). He’s too young and too good to let him get shelled for a season in the NHL, how much do they watch before they put him somewhere he can win and get his game back?
If you could steal them for your team, who would you rather have on a 3-year, 2 million dollar deal, Stamkos, Savard, or Lucic? I vote Stamkos, I think.
Well, fuck it. I just spent a longish time composing a response to the whole USA Today article and ensuing flap and I stupidly navigated away from the page before posting (rookie blogging/commenting mistake, I know). All my lovely prose is gone! So to repeat (in bullet-type form)…
LMAO about the irony of the vid about your buddy in TX and his roomie in the wake of the flap.
Thanks for the piece Justin – I am both a sports lover and one who lives an alternate lifestyle and am always gratified to see athletes show others their humaness (either by coming out or sharing painful personal stories of abuse – I am an abuse survivor too). The more eyes we get on taboo subjects such as these the more we demystify and move towards acceptance.
Nice that your readers are of like mind with you. I am not surprised at the vitriol in response to the USA Today piece – idiots and haters will always be spouting off (just look at the level of discourse in politics in this country over the last year…). Articles such as yours a really important to elicit covnersation and hopefully provide support for those out there who are closeted.
So again, thanks for your thougtfulness and courage (I mean you did share your love of journaling and music… grin) in writing the piece. It was your usual good work and something you should be proud of. Tell it brutha.
I’m really liking that Climie’s computer is turned to THIS website in that piece above. Haha, Is that what made you post it Justin?
The Turco comment reminded me of the time I met him in person a couple years ago.
So I’m at the Roxy in Vancouver (screw you, it was my birthday and a Tuesday night, where else am I supposed to go?) and it was after the Devils got destroyed by the Canucks 5 – 0. New Jersey decided this was cause to celebrate, so two dozen giant hockey players show up and wreck my birthday. Why do I say wrecked? Well, when you’re 5’10 and a buck fifty, drunkenly trying to get around a bar crowded with giant genetic freaks is about as easy and sprinting through a mud-filled swimming pool. Plus since I wasn’t hot, famous or even remotely a physical threat, I wasn’t worth being polite to. So yeah, fuck New Jersey.
Wait, what was I talking about again? Oh yeah, Turco. Fuck that guy too.
So at one point he sets up shop beside my table (Dallas played Edmonton that night, he had flown into town for the Vancouver-Dallas game the following night) and he’s standing beside me for 5 or 6 minutes when I look over and say “Marty Turco right? Nice to meet you.” and you know what he says to me?
He says “Get away from me.”
Then walks away. So yeah, fuck Marty Turco.
I hope your buddy gets his spot.
(Okay it wasn’t all bad, I met Marty Brodeur too and he was actually really happy and nice. Although it might have been the fact that he had a super hot asian girl on each knee. I’d be in a pretty good mood too.)
Good eye catching Bourne’s website on Climie’s computer, Marie. Anybody catch what movie was on their tv?
Good stuff. Hats off.
Flashback to 1973 where I went to many New Haven Nighthawk games as a kid. I believe there was one black player in entire AHL at the time, I forget the team he was on. But every time his team came to New Haven and this player stepped on the ice, the N-word would fly around from various parts of the building until he finished his shift.
Flash foward to the last AHL game I attended in Bridgeport 2003. Two black players on the opposing team, and nary a racial peep from the crowd. Phew.
These things take time, but change does happen. Articles like yours only speed the process.
I’ve been playing hockey since I was five and could give a flyin’ frigg if I had a teammate who was gay. I don’t care what a guy does in his personal life, I care about what he does on the ice.
You’re right, Lucic can do more than fight and get a point every second game. Boston actually is my favourite team and I love wathcing Lucic play. It’s just the fact that he isn’t one of the top 12-13 Canadian forwards so why even invite him to the camp? Why not invite someone who could actually make the team. I would rather have Savard on the Olympic team every day of the week over Lucic.
Neil,
I’m with you. I’d rather have Stamkos for a three year deal. I just think the sky’s the limit for this kid. He’s only 19 and the last guy I can remember putting up numbers like Stamkos is this year at such a young age is Crosby. Can you imagine Stamkos numbers in a year or two? When Tampa actually has a good team? I think it will be scary. People seem to forget that he was a #1 pick because he started the season so poorly last year. He was still putting up Lucic numbers though:) I just don’t know what people expected, you have a small 18 year old playing on a horrible team and people wanted him to put up a point a game. I remember columnists asking if he was a bust at the halfway point last year…..are you kidding me?
Beckmann, I’d guess that they’re inviting Lucic for the “Moses” factor. Aaron Ward commented last year that when Lucic is on the ice, it’s like “Moses partting the Red Sea.” Canada should have plenty of goal-scorers and playmakers (I’ll agree, they should invite Savard), but team officials obviously think they need some muscle as well.
Actually, as a Bruins fan, I understand that the guys want to play for their countries but I’d prefer that they all go off and sit on a Bahamas beach for a couple of weeks rather than kill themselves on the ice.
I don’t know if you go back and read responses on old posts, but…
There is a discussion going on at Mod Squad Hockey about your article. http://tinyurl.com/yk2a5ug
FWIW, that’s where I first heard about your blog.
Movie is Pineapple Express, no?
This was a great article. Thanks for posting. Especially after Maine’s victory of discrimination which will negatively affect Maine local business/lobster and Maine vacation spots financially.
But, I would just like to say too that not all hockey players, minor or NHLer, or any other professional athlete are homophobic or use gay slurs. Those that do, tend to be closeted and self-loathing gay men fighting their same-sex attraction which is obvious. This I know. And, being gay or bisexual and being a professional athlete have absolutely nothing to do with each other, believe me. This too I know. That thinking that is does is entrenched with ignorance and foolishness.
Not all sports fans are anti-gay either. There are a-holes in every facet of life, nonetheless. Toughen up! Ignore them or confront them. I do. It’s not hard, and that’s what you’re supposed to do. Then life goes on.
Next blog should be about pro hockey players and their partners and those long 9 (or longer) months.
Great article though.
Affirmative, Sherry.
I read the article and was happy.
Then I read the comments and was sad and pissed off.
I consoled myself with the thought that I probably play better than 80% of the respondents. And really, I don’t play that well.
What you said was important, regardless of the response. I know pro players. I know a lot of players in general. I’ve been the only woman on male teams and the only queer person (out) in the locker room. I’ve played on gay teams.
My general sense is that hockey is more than ready, and that it’s time, and that creating an environment where people can be who they are means better hockey for everyone.
Someone said that the locker room was “sacred space,” where everything should be acceptable. He meant “to say anything.”
I agree, only it should also be “to be anything.”
I’ll be following your blog now, thanks again.
Kate
Thanks for the comment, Kate. Sadly, here’s what I thought when I read it: “Wait, it’s okay to say queer?”.
I’ve gotten a few emails about the language and phrasing of my article. I need like a “this is good, this is bad” list. Can we get somebody to start an official “North American Society” webpage and keep it updated on proper terminology, so I can be more PC? I don’t even know what I’m supposed to say (and not just in regards to homosexuality, which I was advised was the “medical/clinical term”) if I felt like being more careful. What do I call black people (and why did typing that make me nervous?). Gay? Why do editors keep changing the word “girls” in my columns to “women”? Is girls derogatory?
HELP!
Hang on, wait.
You, with your real name, say “there should be gays in hockey – OUT gays in hockey” in a major US publication. With your photo. Right. There.
And we’re quibbling over what words you used?
I get to use any word I want because I’m gay, I guess. It’s good you ask, but end of day I think you were PC in the ways that count.
The rest really is semantics. I’m kind of O.o that anyone remarked on it, in light of the article itself.
The fact that you think twice about the words you write shows that your intent is good. I think the challenge lies in that every reader may have a different perception of a word’s connotation and they may take offense…even when none was intended. People use certain words to describe themselves, but it’s often not ok for people who are not part of that particular demographic to use the same words.
Re: “girls” IMHO it can be a derogatory term. If you are talking about female athletes, I think you can call them girls until they graduate from high school. College or professional athletes are women.
Groups of female friends will refer to themselves as girls regardless of age. Me and my three sisters refer to ourselves as girls and our parents call us girls even though we are all well past age 18.
There was a comment on a Minnesota hockey blog about the new “ice girls” at the Wild games. I think they are “girls” because they look to be about 16 or 17 years old. They hustle out there, clean the ice and hustle back without trying to attract a lot of attention to themselves. They wear black pants and Wild jerseys.
In contrast – someone posted a photo of the Islanders “ice girls.” My brain immediately inserted the derogatory version of “girls” and then a few adjectives flashed through – dirty girls, naughty girls, trashy girls. Yes – snap judgements were made.
So – yes – the word “girls” can be derogatory. It can imply young, weak, and it somehow gets sexualized with “ice girls”, “shot girls” or when strip clubs advertise “girls”.
Take it for what it’s worth…coming from a self proclaimed “Minnesotagirl”.