A Diamond And A Rough. And Also Some Hockey.
Posted by jtbourne on May 4, 2010 · 14 Comments
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A couple weeks back in late April, my lovely mother was in Phoenix with two of her girlfriends. (My parents just got a place down here last year, which was how Bri and I came to visit and say “hmm, wanna live here?”)
After a busy day followed by dinner at our place, the call came.
Somewhere in Mom’s travels that day – her place, mall hopping, lunch out, dinner here – the diamond had come out of her ring. 
I scoured our house, and especially the pool area, where we had eaten our classy feast of pizza and wine. It wasn’t a huge diamond or anything, but combining sentimental value you with a few thousand dollars of actual value make it crisis worthy. And we never found it. It could’ve been anywhere in Phoenix.
So yesterday, my allergies are killing me. I can’t breathe. I figure I might be able to clear my sinuses by heading to the steam room at my complex. I turn the steam room on, and decided to um, have a sit-down in a nearby bathroom stall to have a little me time. After a few seconds, I see a shard of glass. But wait, that’s a sparkly shard of…. there, 200 yards and two weeks later, was her freaking diamond.
No idea how it could have feasibly ended up that far away, let alone in my line of vision. But it did. Crazy.
*****
My new column is up on USA Today. It’s on what’s being discussed during a last-minute timeout in a close game. Speaking of crazy things….
I wrote the rough draft for that column, and fired it off to my uncle to see what he thought of it. He thought it was good, but had a few recommendations. I took those recommendations and ran with it, re-writing about 30% of the column. Happy with my final work, I fired it off.
"I've been coaching here for 8 years, you better know what to do by now."
The sports editor said he liked it, and that it would run. I went to check it out and…. I had sent the rough draft in. First time I’ve ever done that. But since the editor liked the column, I figured, eh, let’s leave it.
Sooo, the slightly-rougher-than-planned version doesn’t mention the focus inside the defensive team’s huddle, but that’s a pretty short couple paragraphs anyways: don’t leave anybody uncovered low in the zone (just one guy left to cover high players), keep player’s sticks up around the net, and keep your sticks in passing lanes. Pretty simple, meatheads. Work hard and block shots.
*****
Blackhawks/Canucks
2-2 with a couple minutes to go in the third, and Brent Seabrook fires a rocket pass through a seam to Kris Versteeg, the type of pass you simply can’t make in rec hockey. A laser.
Versteeg shows great patience, and reads the sliding d-man with a pull-up/cut. He looks at his options, and sees everyone falling all over Luongo’s crease. As he takes it to his forehand, everyone commits to him shooting. Then he tries to pull it to his backhand, which I saw developing – to a wide open side of the net, to one of the prettiest goals of the year…. and loses it. I was bummed, just because I love slick goals off the rush.
Odd celly, I thought. So... that's you being happy, then?
Then Chicago makes a couple passes only Chicago and Washington make. They regain composure, fire it up to Keith, who fires it back to Versteeg (Chicago’s what, 6th best forward?) who’s able to stop it and fire a perfect wrister over a sliding Luongo. That play is why I’m so enamoured with this Blackhawks team (but still, I’m rooting for the Canuckleheads).
The same way I mentioned that Pittsburgh and Detroit can score with skill or grit, the Canucks have their own options (Sedin/Sedin for skill, Kesler/Burrows for grit). With a quality goaltender, I think the Canucks could cause Chicago (and beyond) absolute fits in playoffs.
This series easily gets the nod as the best series of all the conferece semi’s.
Boston/Philadelphia
As we begin the three or four game march to Philly’s funeral, here’s what I want to talk about:
Post-game interviews.
This picture could not be less relevant to my topic.
Often, I complain that hockey players are too generic in their responses, and holycrapsaysomethinginterestingsoon.
But the reporters are just as often to blame, because they force players into those answers. And sometimes, they force you into full-out lying to not make them look like idiots. This is the hardest thing to do as a player sometimes, it’s like taking an SAT question after doing cardio on a spin bike.
For example: I assume Lucic scored the winning goal yesterday, because they were interviewing him after the game. Yes, that’s how little of that game I watched last night (went with some of Dexter season three until Bri went to bed, then watched the DVR’ed Canucks/Hawks game).
Anyways, the guy says to Milan: “All three Bruins goals were on the shooters sticks for a combined total of under five seconds, how much did you guys preach quick release?”
How much did we preach quick release?
Well, not at all, actually, we always shoot it as quickly as possible when trying to score. Y’know, so the goalie doesn’t have time to set? That’d be like preaching “hey guys, when there’s a stick in the way of somewhere you want to pass, let’s really try this new saucer thing that takes advantage of the air above the guy’s blade.”
To Lucic’s credit, he saved the guy “Well, y’know, that’s the way you score on any goalie in this league, so we knew that….” blah blah blah.
It happens all the time. One year I remember constantly being asked by our beat reporter some variation of ”what was your game plan on your opponents goalie tonight?”. By the end of the year I had to tell the guy I couldn’t find any more jibber-jabber for that question “look, you try to find a hole and hit it. If you have more time, you try to make him think you’re shooting somewhere you’re not with a fake, a look, a move. Goalie’s with obvious weak spots can’t play professional hockey, so we didn’t ‘game plan’ anything.” It’s not like NHL ’93 where everytime you skate across the crease the goalie gets caught on the post or something. Half the time you’re just shooting for rebounds.
And then I shanked him with a shattered Synergy, cause I’m badass. (*note: that part may not have actually happened)
But seriously, c’mon guys, you’re better than that.
*****
Anywho, happy tuesday people! Hope spring has sprung, wherever you’re at!
I'm a hockey player turned writer. After playing for Alaska Anchorage in the WCHA (NCAA), I carried on with an NHL tryout (New York Islanders in 2007) before spending a couple seasons in the AHL/ECHL (last year was 2008-09). My father, Bob Bourne, won four Stanley Cups with the Islanders in the '80's, as did my fiancee's dad, Clark Gillies. I'm now the web editor for theScore's hockey blog "Backhand Shelf."
Nice One Bourne….. Spring Sure Has Sprung In Edmonton With A Blizzard Not Only Does The Hockey Team Here Not Make The Playoffs But Mother Nature Decides To Slap Us In The Face For Keeping Kevin Lowe On Staff!!!
Oh, the pic of Luongo flat out behind a celebrating Steeger & Co. gave me a good laugh. Poor greasy goalie.
Did you preach quick release… Haha! I’m the queen of dumb questions and I wouldn’t ask that. The only time I even think about quick releases is when I’m playing, because rec leaguers are sometimes pretty hilarious in how long it takes to get a shot off.
But the ones I hate are the guys who can’t skate for shit but have a shot that will be in the net before you can say, “Did that go in?” Like, how do you have a shot like that and can barely get down the ice? Prolly cause someone preached quick release to them at some point….
Hey, congrats on that diamond thing! Your mom’s diamond found and Staal on skates (albeit briefly) today – it truly is a great day!
I guess that would be *news* of your mom’s diamond being found…
Too bad Sutton isn’t around to get that post game interview; “Are you an expert on quick releases?”
That is great news that you found the diamond! Same thing happened with my engagement ring years ago. Diamond fell out and we tore the place apart looking for it. Go figure my fiancee’s drunken room mate pulls it out of the bottom of his shoe three days later.
Anyhow, love the blog – look forward to more playoff coverage even though (*sob*) my team is through…
Best non-canned answer in a post-game interview was Mike Richards yesterday when he was asked about Dan Carcillo accusing Marc Savard of biting him. Laughing, Richards said “I don’t know, maybe he bit himself”.
Many years ago, my mother lost her diamond engagement ring while we were out raking leaves in the front yard. My father bought here a new engagement ring/wedding ring set. The following summer, my brother was out digging potatoes in our garden and came up with the lost ring on a tine of the pitchfork (we used the leaves for compost, in case you’re wondering). So that’s my diamond story. Funny how they turn up.
Mike Richards must have the patience of a saint. Imagine being captain of a team with Dan Carcillo on it.
Make sure to put jewelry of decent value on your insurance policy. You have to schedule it seperately and get an appraisal, but when you do this you will have coverage for a situation like you talked about.
Enough insurance talk…..as always, great job with your blog, articles, etc.
You are set for mothers day, im jelous
Best commentator line from last night’s Boston-Philly game: “With Richards, it’s never pretty, just hard and effective.” I love hockey.
“Poor greasy goalie.”
I saw Luongo go face down on the ice and thought “Eddie Munster is sad…”
Go buy some Zyrtec-D (gotta have the “D” so you have to buy it at the pharmacy counter – Costco has the best deal) or the store brand of that drug and take one in the morning and one at night. It might give you the jitters at first but that goes away after a couple of days. Everyone I have recommended it to loves being able to breathe again. Yes – spring has even sprung here in Minnesota and we are having one of the worst allergy seasons ever!
Glad to hear you found your mom’s diamond. My mom was not so lucky. When I was a kid, she took her ring off for safe keeping because she was taking me shopping in NYC and didn’t want to wear it. She left it on a high shelf but one of my brothers found it and took it outside to play with. He buried it in the dirt, never to be found again. A very expensive loss. My dad finally replaced it many years later when he finally had the money.
Bourne, gotta check out the bruins new add campaign. Priceless.
http://img442.yfrog.com/img442/6388/f3e.jpg
http://www.universalhub.com/2010/maybe-they-should-replace-bruins-banner-state-hous