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Bench Buddies



Isn’t that a chilling picture below?  Ugh. 

Also chilling – Chris Drury has been listed as “out indefinitely” due to “interment and severe post-consussion syndrome”.  As a frequent essay-length commenting friend of mine (Neil) recently pointed out, of all the head shots that deserve some attention, how has the Glencross/blindside/headshot/clippy-elbow-thing passed by without the usual horror?

And last, on head shots - this is my latest take on it, for The Hockey News.  When will the players do something about it?


Sometimes, for some reason, your coach just thinks you mesh well with a particular player on your team.  Or that you’re the same type of player.  Or that you’re style’s don’t fit with other players.  Or something.  The point is, sometimes you just get stuck with some random dude on your team for like, the whole year.

And you hate the guy.lucic

Not just playing with him.  But sitting beside him on the bench.  All year.  Maybe he’s a guy who likes to draw up plays on his glove between shifts (because we run so many set plays in hockey).  Maybe he’s an apologizer.  Sorry bout that pass man, it rolled on me.  That was my guy, sorry.  I thought the d-man had him.  And all you can think is ihateyou ihateyou ihateyou ihateyou…

Basically, I was thinking about how I bet I’d really dislike Milan Lucic (no offense to anyone, but in general, I found “major junior” players to be retarded, and thus, less likely to be people I enjoy), which got me thinking about sitting beside some big mook on your line who says cocky stuff like “he’s lucky he saw me at the end or I woulda killed him”.  How was I suppposed to respond to those comments?  Yep, you’re the toughest.

It’s nice that I don’t have to worry about pissing off too many major junior players by writing that, because not many of them can read….

Sorry.  I’m having random bench flashbacks here, and typing them unfiltered through they keyboard feels good. 


Dear rec league players:

Isn’t stopping like, the worst thing ever?  Seriously.  How much of a pain-in-the-ass is it when you know “wow, if I don’t stop and get that puck I’m gonna look suuuper lazy“.  Kills your whole momentum.  By the time you get up to speed again, you’re tired and have to change.

uuugggghhh stopping succckkksss

uuugggghhh stopping succckkksss

Stopping wasn’t my forte as a player.  Not that I wasn’t good at it, as much as I much preferred the large, ineffective circling swoop until I needed to hit top gear.  Coaches call that move the ”getting benched” or something like that. 

So with no coach, how great is never stopping?  I’m like the olympic logo in rec league.  All circles.


I’m really diggin’ it.




19 Responses to “Bench Buddies”
  1. Kerstin says:

    SO unneccessary…

    (these headshots)

  2. Neil says:

    It’s like natural selection, there may be some guys with respect and decency (obviously there are) but if playing like an idiot doesn’t result in penalties and suspensions, the guys playing clean aren’t utilizing the same set of tools and they have to be more skilled than a guy who is dirty and wants that roster spot, it’s only a matter of time before highly competitive GM’s start picking up the Ruutus and Prongers.

  3. Neil says:

    haha sorry that’s not really for here, just read your THN article (nice work once again)

  4. Matt Gunn says:

    As a goalie playing forward this year for the first time in 20 years, I’ve finally realized how players can be so lazy.

    The circle swoop is my patented move (especially coming from being a goalie, where the stop and skate is not in our repretoir). No way you’ll see me do the stop and go. Ever.

  5. T Jones says:

    I hate the circle swoop, it’s lazy and puts you our of position especially if your a winger (circle out of the zone and turn it into a 5 on 4 good call). Im a guessing that at your level justin you don’t even need to skate in rec league so the chances of you actually getting tired are slim to none even if you have to stop.

  6. Frank says:

    what’s even better about rec league hockey is having a beer BEFORE the game…..or behind the bench during the game. That makes stopping even more challenging…..

  7. garett says:

    ummm…Mr. Bourne…im a major junior player and i read your site! and i have actually happened to sit beside you on the bench quite a few i do not like your little jab in this article! :-)

  8. AiH says:

    What sense does it make to combine the words “Major” and “Junior” anyway? I suppose if your last name is Junior and you become a Major in the armed forces it works. But Major Junior? Seems pretty close to Major Loser and I know that was never a term of endearment on the playground.

  9. jtbourne says:

    Ha… Garrett: Awk-waaaaard. You know I love you (in a totally straight way. Not that there’s anything wrong with the other way… Um).

    AiH – Lots of levels of junior hockey. Gotta clarify (glorify?) The big boys somehow.

  10. garett says:

    hahaha..covered those tracks very well J-BO…i guessed that you were referring to the OHL and QMJHL players anyways..its all good..ha

  11. Maria says:

    I’m so sad you picked of Milan Lucic…he is the man! and i mean obviously i don’t know him personally or anything but in his interviews he comes off as being a very well spoken young man. I was watching him one time with my mom and she even commented on how well he spoke. so i dont think he is that dumb :) and i have heard nothing but good things about him as a teammate…but then again how badly is someone gonna talk on TV or in an article..hmmm

  12. jtbourne says:

    Hey, Looch might be a genius. Just guessing that if we were teammates, he’d be on the “crap, the only seats left at team meal are at his table” list.

  13. Maria says:

    so basically hockey is like elementary school where no one wants to sit next to the weird kid or smelly kid or whateverrr? hahah thats awesome! (but lucic is still the man!)

  14. Travelchic59 says:

    I have to ask a question here. Where else in real life would people totally ignore someone face down after they were hit/clipped/run over/assualted, etc. (excluding the NYC Subway)? I have never understood when a player is down why it takes so long for his team mates, the refs or the trainers to get their asses to that player and assist him. I am really waiting for the day when a player dies on the ice and everyone else on the ice is trying to “man up” before actually caring about their fallen team mate. My first reaction would be to go help, Am I missing something about the hockey player gene pool where this makes sense?

  15. AiH says:

    I disagree – the NHL trainers do an excellent job with quick response times and provide a high level of care. If you recall last season it was the trainers that got Richard Zednik’s cut to the throat under control before transportation to a local hospital. Many people believe those trainers saved his life.

  16. Will77 says:

    The worst guy to sit next to is a linemate who gloats how he just dangled a defenseman or two, then either missed the net or lost the puck trying a 3rd move, all the while you were sitting wide open in the slot and now have to here this ass gloat. /rant

    Props to one of the best bench dudes though, maybe cause it was just summer hockey but Eric Nystrom was always a cool guy on the bench.

  17. Ben says:

    It’s not just that there was no reaction in the media to the Drury headshot, no one from the Rangers did a thing about it, either. You really have to wonder about that “team,” and this is coming from a Rangers fan. Gone are the days when Messier almost killed Modano because the Stars went after Leetch.

  18. Char says:

    Kind of ironic that you’d pick on Lucic, who is one of those guys who steps up without hesitation if a teammate suffers a cheap shot. And is, by all accounts, well-liked by said teammates.

  19. jtbourne says:

    “Pick on”? Boy, I hope he can recover from my text assault. “I don’t think I’d like him”. …ruthless.

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