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Couple Blurbs ‘N Links


I know it’s been a long time -  I shouldn’t have left you… without a dope beat to step to, but I was having some holiday hullabaloo with the fam.  Had my brother in town which was cool.  We rocked a lil Buck Hunter, a Coyotes game, hit the zoo, the whole deal.  I’m back on the Bourne’s Blog horse today.

Tyson’s Lolcat tribute:



1000 NHL games.

1000 NHL games.

The Coyotes game we went to was great.  Major thanks to Doug Moss for taking care of my family.  And congratulations to Shane Doan on his 1000th career game… that’s crazy man.  My Dad played 14 years and got to 962, and my father-in-law-to-be played 14 years and hit 958 (though it might be worth noting that they combined for over 300 playoff games too, compared to Shane’s 32, but still, wow…. his achievement makes me feel old, I feel like I remember his whole career.)

Far and away, the highlight of the game was the blanket giveaway – we had three girls at the game, and nothing ruins everyones mood like cold girls.  So that was sweet.

*mumbling* AlsotheCoyoteslookreallygoodthisyear,Ireallyamimpressed… it turns out I WAS WRONG.


We have a gay superstar.  Only, not on this continent.  One of Rugby’s biggest stars, Gareth Thomas, has come out.


You must be pining for a new column from me, it’s been ages.  It’s tough to focus on hockey around the holiday season.  Let me tell ya aboot the players take on how that goes.  (If you like the article, feel free to comment or click “recommend” – I’d love to contribute more to their newpaper than a column every two weeks.)


He hangs out with richer people than me, it looks like.

Name-dropping:  I sent Goligoski a text complaining about his fantasy hockey performance of late (he’s been hurt a few times), and he told me to trade his stock while it’s still worth something, cause he sucks. 

What other sport do players so consistently turn to self-deprication?  I have to believe it’s because we play such a humbling sport.  Just when you think you’ve got it figured, some guy puts it through your wickets, you toe pick and chip a tooth.  Or this whole “nobody’s bigger than the game thing” is really working out well, one of the two.


Oh, and then there’s this -  the puppy dog re-creation of the Snooki punch from that high-quality TV drama “Jersey Shore”.  Pure, unadulterated win.


 More to come later – I gotta catch up on the work that earns me money!  Thanks for readin!


13 Responses to “Couple Blurbs ‘N Links”
  1. James says:

    I loved the psycho parents column.

    I’m helping coach my son’s Mite B House team this season. Since I’m a goalie, I work mostly with my son and the other goalie on our team.

    While our parents are pretty good to deal with, here are some highlights:

    3 games into the season a mom asks where we are in the standings (I honestly did not know. A couple of months later, I still don’t)

    Apparently some parents are paying their kids if they score a goal (The closest I did to this was tell my son he could pick where we went to dinner if he got a shutout in his first game. He won 2-1 and I let him pick anyway)

    But my personal favorite was a stunt that an opposing coach pulled a couple of weeks ago. The other team had that one kid that looks like he’s 2 or 3 years older than everyone else on the ice. The kid scores both of their goals, they are up 2-1 with like 2:15 to go, and the coach throws Malkin (who had played center the whole game) on defense for the rest of the game to help kill it.

    In a Mite B House game.

    Merry Christmas!

  2. James says:

    And the mom checking the sharpening job is classic!

  3. jtbourne says:

    Haha, God save mini-Malkin in a Mite A house game…. That’s bruuutal.

  4. Madeleine says:

    Nice article on the holiday season. I think we can all understand that feeling. So I try less hard on my exams before Christmas. So what? 50% is still a pass.

  5. minnesotagirl71 says:

    I’d guess hockey players are self deprecating because there is so much of the game that they are not in control of. They can be doing everything right and then the puck takes a crazy bounce/accidental deflection and they end up scoring on their own goalie. No matter how good they are crazy $h!# happens…and it happens so freakin’ FAST!

  6. ms.conduct says:

    Also… ice is slippery. I mean, sometimes, that’s just what it comes down to right? Syracuse player took a funny fall last night and we all laughed on press row, but really… it’s quite slippery, I don’t care how good you are. You’re gonna make an ass out of yourself more times than you care to.

    Though for me, it’s humbled me so much that when it ISN’T humbling me and I’m hanging in there, I’m such a an asshole because I’m feeling like queen of the world for a few minutes. But eventually it all comes crashing down again and I’m back to humble.

  7. Amy Jo says:

    Justin my good man, it was very big of you to admit that the Coyotes are pretty okay this year.

    I, as an act of good will, am thinking about taking up a collection to get you a Coyotes jersey to remember this.

    Personalized of course. Name on the back you may wonder? Wrong

    Of course if we nosedive the second half and miss the playoffs, I understand that you will reserve the right to mercilessly rake my crying soul over the burning coals. Hockey is love.

  8. Hey Justin,
    Nice to have you back – fit and fightin’ form for the first of the frosty month of January….
    I’ll look forward to reading all of your stuff, even if it isn’t coming from our site.
    I’m re-launching our 5 for Writing segment, look for your blog to be mentioned pretty regularly.

    The Hockey Writers

  9. Char says:

    Mmmm… Shane Doane… uh, where was I?

    Oh yeah, liked both the columns, gave the USA Today one a rec.

    My husband coached soccer for several years, at several different levels, at a local Jewish Community Center. During halftime at a tourney game, the best player’s mother pulled him aside and told him he should tell the kids the other team hated them because they’re Jewish. That was the final straw. He doesn’t coach anymore.

  10. Neil says:

    Amy’s reaction, verbatim, to your Lolcats contribution: “Oh my god, he’s reached a new low” lol LOVE IT

    Char, that story makes me want to vomit. I suppose there is a small amount of solace in seeing that kids who get pressured and pushed into something all their lives usually end up running from it the first chance they get. Still, I just puked on my keyboard.

    Grrrreeat call on trading Carcillo for Upshall.

  11. ann says:

    Justin, that article on psycho parents was great…

    My dad helped coach my brother’s baseball team growing up and he always told him just do your best. Same with all the other kids, and you know what? When they joined an over 18 league, that same group of kids asked my dad and the other guy that coached to manage them, because they didn’t want the hassle of having to make the decisions, collect the team dues, etc.

    I’ve never understood those parents that make it life or death… It’s the same with stage parents, I guess. And it’s just sad. Your kid will either quit, grow up and hate you for the way you handled something that was fun for him or her, or both.

    And btw, cutest cat picture ever in your blog.

  12. Deirdre says:

    Wow, I now feel a little bit of guilt for trading Goligoski this morning…not enough to pick him back up again, but still. A little guilt. It’s one of the things I love most about hockey players – there are so few actual primadonnas in the game.

  13. smoboy says:

    Don’t worry, Nostradamus, ther’s still half season to go.

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