Cleaning Out The Attic
Posted by jtbourne on May 6, 2009 · 7 Comments
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A mind-puke, from the grey matter of Justin Bourne.
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First, does Ovechkin have red highlights? I find it odd that a Russian guy who has mastered the use of the minimalist punchline on the mic has stolen fashion secrets from legions of Hello-Kitty-rocking female Japanese teenagers.
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Also on Ovie, how about the time it takes him to get that mouthguard out of his mouth after he scores a goal? I get the feeling maybe it’s like a variation of the movie Speed, where if he has it in for more than five second after a goal it detonates on his molars.
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Repetitive advice for young NHLers who think going no-visor makes such a difference that it’s worth the potential life-altering eye-damage: Get serious. Sid the Kid and The Great Eight wear them. “Alfredsson, Datsyuk, Malkin and more wear them?… no - I’m Kyle Wellwood, and I need the wind slicing into my eyes when I skate.
I propose this question to the readers: Who is currently the best non-visored player in the NHL?
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Blogs are generally negative, and I’m really trying not to follow suit. It’s easy to sit on your couch and say everyone sucks. So I’m looking for a positive on ‘ol Gino Malkin.
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yyyeeeeaaaaaahhhhh…
(Damnit, I did it anyways)
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Things currently thumbs-up-worthy in my book:
Music accompanied by a piano, DVR, Jimmy Fallon, Lebron James, Cabbie on the Street, Tortarella getting all “New Yorkish” when he’s fired up, SportsCentre/SportsCenter hosts, the jersey and punch of a spectator in Happy Gilmore, and Bill Guerin apparently making Sid feel included by beaking him.
Thumbs down – wait, let me adust the system, I’m no Ebert. We’ll call the good stuff “goals”, and the bad stuff “slapshots to the jaw”.
Slapshots to the jaw to:
The over-use of Glen “Big Baby” Davis’s nickname, recording and watching Celtics/Bulls game six with extended time – which only covered the first two overtimes, Doc Rivers, Peter Laviolette, Bob Mckenzie, hell, almost every hockey pundit, rumours of Brett Favre returning, and the constant worry about the laptop/sperm-count-correlation.
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Alright kids, that’s all I’ve got for you today. Congrats to the Canucks fans, your boys are up 2-1. If I hadn’t dogged them since I was a fetus, I’d celebrate with you. My b.
I'm a hockey player turned writer. After playing for Alaska Anchorage in the WCHA (NCAA), I carried on with an NHL tryout (New York Islanders in 2007) before spending a couple seasons in the AHL/ECHL (last year was 2008-09). My father, Bob Bourne, won four Stanley Cups with the Islanders in the '80's, as did my fiancee's dad, Clark Gillies. I'm now the web editor for theScore's hockey blog "Backhand Shelf."
The best non-visor player in the NHL is the Kings Matt Greene. But he uses his face to block pucks, so the visor gets in the way….
A few guys that are pretty solid that dont wear a visor…….St. Louis, Getzlaf, Lecavalier.
On a random note, did you loose any hearing when you broke your jaw? I broke mine 5 seasons ago, and my hearing dropped from a 20db level to a 60db level which is considered hearing impaired.
No Visor…..nominees Savard, Chara, Pronger, Getzlaf. And the Winner is Chara, he’s a monster. I don’t think there will ever be a visor mandate but by 2015 the only one playing without one will be Chelios. (Yes he’ll stilll be playing)
Lecavalier – Thornton – Getzlaf
Pronger – Chara
“Visorless First All-Star Team”
Its good to know Im not the only one with mind -puke!!!!
Chara doesn’t need a visor because anyone that could smack him in the face with the stick could also conceivably change the rink scoreboard manually from the ice.
Wellwood, on the other hand, skates with his face at the level of a snapshot backswing. It’s a heck of a risk.
Hahaha… quality tall joke.