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Clark Gillies is the Chardonnay of Men, Apparently

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I can’t help but laugh at this:

The NHL Alumni Association is selling wine.  It appears they’ve partnered with “Ironstone Winery”, put the names of a few random NHLers on the bottles, and are giving an unspecified “percentage” of the sales to the charities of the players on the bottles.  But that’s not the funny part.

"A chilled glass of refreshing, fruity white wine, please"

"A chilled glass of refreshing, fruity white, please"

Clark Gillies….. is on the bottle of Chardonnay? 

How did they chose to assign guys to types of wine, comedic value?  I love that their description of Clark as ”a ferocious competitor whose rugged play led his teams to win championships” is one of the first lines under “Clark Gillies: Chardonnay”.   …Ooo, you beast, you.

On a somewhat related note, his charity – the Clark Gillies Foundation – does raise sizable chunks of money (recently gave a million dollars to a local hospital) and can always use your help.  Forget “percentages” – check out the video about his charity here if you haven’t seen it yet, and feel free to donate… the money will go straight to helping children on Long Island.  Also, I’ll give you a dollar if you don’t cry after watching it.

*****

 Marty Brodeur is the NHL’s all-time shutout leader, taking over the lead from Rollie Melanson.  Or some other old goalie.  On a somewhat serious note, the most impressive part about Marty’s career has to be his durability, right?  70-75 games a year at that high level? 

So, whaddya think?  Best in the history of the NHL?  (By the way, can we really try to compare Brodeur to guys like Johnny Bower?  What a wasted conversation that is.  Let’s keep it apples to apples, not apples to no-mask-stand-up-goalies-taking-shots-from-guys-using-tree-trunk-sticks-on-roller-skates-in-a-completely-different-game.)

*****

For the first time since Richards decapitated Booth, the Flyers played the Panthers.  And thank god, the Panthers beat the stuffing out of the Flyers – four goals and four fights is a decent response to Richards knocking four months of Booth’s lifespan.

*****

The Blues hung seven goals on the Oilers, exacerbating the misery that is being an Oilers fan in a year where the Flames don’t suck too.

*****

The Coyotes won their seventh straight home game.  A certain blogger is starting to think they’re good.  How could he not?  Have you seen their roster??

*****

 Congrats to Nate Thompson for scoring his first of the ye- … wait.  So that empty net miss would have been his first of the year?  *head in hands* …ho-ly shit.

*****

That’s all I got for now folks – my brother is here, and since its the 22nd, we need to start Christmas shopping, dude-style.  ….At Lowes.  (Ratchet sets for everyone!)

Comments

14 Responses to “Clark Gillies is the Chardonnay of Men, Apparently”
  1. Anna S. says:

    Your headline made me snort my coffee. I blame you for my current nose-ache.

    Glad to see I wasn’t the only one ridiculously glad to see the Panthers hand the Flyers what was coming to them.

  2. jtbourne says:

    My favourite thing I forgot to mention about the Chardonnay is their description of it as “fruity, clean, dynamic. Hints of tropical fruit, pear and green apple.” …Yet Lafontaine is on the bottle of red? I’m confused.

  3. ann says:

    Of course, after turning on every Devils game since shutout #103, I was pretty ticked off to watch that score go final while watching the uninspired play of the Flyers at the Wachovia Center. Thank goodness I didn’t pay for the tickets. I’m so thankful for Center Ice, since that was the first full Flyers game I watched all year (ok that’s a lie, I left with 5 minutes left in the third). It’s so nice to watch actual GOOD hockey teams that don’t have someone like Dan Carcillo on them.

    I agree Justin, you can’t compare the two eras of goaltenders. Marty had some great defensive teams in front of him in NJ, but he is spectacular on the ice. Congratulations to him. I have a hard time thinking that record will be broken, especially when you figure he’s got to add a whole bunch more to that total before he retires.

  4. St. Cloud Gopher says:

    Comparing eras is difficult, if not impossible. So, how do we compare Marty’s SO record with someone playing in the current format where goal scorers are allowed to do their thing?
    If the wide open style of play that is the goal (if not reality) of the NHL today, what do we make of Brodeur playing behind the best get-a-goal-and-play-trap-and-grab team in history?

  5. Courtney says:

    Pat Lafontaine gets to be a Chardonnay AND a Cab – that’s just wrong!

  6. MWL says:

    Speaking of the Flyers, has anyone seen the rumor about Jeff Carter nailing Scott Hartnall’s wife behind his back…what is the protocol for retribution in a locker room for that one???

  7. pat says:

    So Justin just wondering what type of wine do you think you would be?????? Maybe a cheap cooking wine hahahah…. Merry Christmas Dude!!!!!!

  8. Goody says:

    Hmm… Clark Gillies as wine… hmm….

    Well, they’ll both work with you as long as you treat them right (moderation, pair them with complementary line-mates, etc.), but if you go too far (hit them hard, etc) they’ll knock you on your ass and leave you with a foggy head the next morning.

    Too much of a stretch?

  9. minnesotagirl71 says:

    At least they said the wine is “fruity” and Gillies is “ferocious” rather than the other way around! What poor pansy did they put on the White Zin?

    My husband’s golf team decided that any guy who messes with another guy’s wife gets beaten to death with a four iron and buired in the golf course’s burn pile. Maybe Hartnall should go after Carter with one of those old tree-trunk style sticks. Then Hartnall should divorce his wife!

  10. Corkdork says:

    I’ve gotta say, I’d see Gillies as more of a Tannat; it’s a very tannic, full-bodied, burly red that can take days in a decanter to open up (mostly grown in Madaran, France, although some is found in Uruguay). It’s enforcer wine. Chardonnay would be more of a “skills player” kind of wine.

  11. Amy Jo says:

    ………….well, did or did not the aforementioned Mr. Gillies ask you for a date when you had been “outed”. Maybe they sensed his sensitivity and compassion and thought Chardonnay was the way to go?

  12. Char says:

    To be fair (and believe me, that’s a difficult thing to be when it concerns the Flyers), some member of the team (forget who) has emphatically denied that Carter rumor. Stories like that will pop up when what’s supposed to be a good team is struggling. There’s gotta be SOME reason, right?

    Brodeur is a great goalie, no doubt, but a lot of the records he’s setting now are also a result of longevity. Meh, I hate labeling someone the “best ever” – just too many variables.

  13. Neil says:

    Early in the season I confidently declared Phoenix didn’t have the roster to play well for the whole season, but they are looking like a playoff team right now and guys are popping out in the right places at the right times (Lang was a great signing, same with Vrbata, Yandle is making a great name for himself, and apparently Gretzky was a bad coach….). Bryz is having the year he should have had last year, when he sabotaged my hockey pool.

    Wish I could comment more on Marty but I don’t know anything about past goalies… Marty is outstanding but for me, his past few seasons have been undermined by inconsistency in the playoffs (Ottawa was a particularly bad series but Carolina wasn’t pretty either).

  14. fish says:

    a while ago Bourne had a blog/article somewhere about how the players need to take responsability for head shots and late hits… Seems like someone has been reading that too…

    http://www.sportsnet.ca/hockey/2009/12/22/spector_souray_head_shots/

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