Chad Brownlee’s Album, and My Writing Schedule

 

As I’ve been twitter-plugging all morning, Chad Brownlee’s album comes out today (www.chadbrownlee.com).  If you’re new to the blog, I’ve written about Chad before. 

Quick refresher:  We were junior teammates for two full seasons, we’re both from Kelowna, BC, and just in general, buddies.  He got drafted by the Vancouver Canucks, was named the captain of his WCHA hockey team (Minnesota State @Mankato, with David Backes/Ryan Carter etc.), then turned pro. 

As nagging injuries started to wear him down, his other gift – check that, gifts – took him in a different direction.  He shut down hockey and committed to music, and here he is today.  A year or two after making the transition the kid had a single on Canada’s country music chart (top 20, I think?).

Anyway, give him a listen at the very least, and hey, feel free to support not only a talented kid who writes/plays/sings quality country music (a feat in itself), but is also just an all-around good guy.  There’s not a whole ton of those around.  DO IT NOW OR I’LL HUNT YOU DOWN AND MAKE YOU LISTEN TO ACHEY BREAKY HEART.  (Buy his stuff on iTunes)

Random sidenote: I love the pic of him that’s on the front page of Bourne’s Blog, all in a barn with rusted chains ‘n’ stuff.  So country.  ….Except we grew up in nice, suburban Kelowna.

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Okayyyy, so it doth appear my NHL season schedule is finalized, and guess what?  I have a column out every day!  Suck on that, thin hopes of having a social life.

Here’s my schedule:

Mondays: Alternating weeks, my Monday column will be written for USA Today, or The Hockey News.   Baaack and forth, all year long.

Tuesdays: Puck Daddy.

Wednesdays: Hockey Primetime

Thursdays: Puck Daddy

Friday: Puck Daddy.

While I love and respect all of my outlets, as you can tell, Puck Daddy will sort of be my home this year.  Two of those columns each month will be with interviews with current or past NHLers, and one of those monthly entries will be a video.  I’m hoping to two-birds-one-stone the interview/video once by drinking at a bar with @BizNasty2point0.  He seems fun.

The blog will live on – I’ll provide links to that day’s article, and write all the nonsense stuff and curse words that are cathartic to get out. 

I’ll also be doing a lot more radio.  While I don’t have dates/times pinned down yet, it sounds like I’ll be a weekly guest on Kelly Hrudey’s show, then occasionally on wherever need be, like this past year.  I’ll try to do a better job of letting people know where/when/how they can listen.  If you don’t have it, TWITTER WOULD HELP YOU GET INSTANT INFO LIKE THAT.  So, yeah, um, do that.

Thanks, thanks, thanks to all of you who supported me throughout this past season and made my blog such a success.  I now have a GD career because of all of you, and for that, I’m forever indebted.  And also for that, I reward you with a short video of my cat – not at his cutest, but havin’ a scrap with his old man.

Keep in mind, this cat is a kitten – 11 months old, and already at the top of the “your full-grown Scottish Fold/American Shorthair cat should weigh between 8 and 15 pounds” chart, with a year of “filling out” to go.

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 Short one today!  Back at ‘er tomorrow, and I’ll letcha know when the Puck Daddy gig begins as soon as I know.  You can read my latest piece for Hockey Primetime here, on how twitter may just create even duller superstars (if you can fathom it).

And now, just to balance the country music in the post, here’s the latest Big Boi single.  I wanted to run “Tangerine”, but it’s kinda filthy, sooo… SHUTTERBUGG!

My “Encounter” With Mario Lemieux

 

Sorry on the late post today folks.  The good news is, my latest column is up on The Hockey News, about “the numbers game”, and how trying to figure it out in the off-season makes you crazy.

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Friend of the blog Hooks Orpik was headed out to meet Mario Lemieux the other day, so I wanted to tell my Lemieux story, but um, twitter only tolerates 140 characters.  So…. here. we. go.

Mario attends the Clark Gillies Charity Classic, which if we’re being honest, is a yearly golf tournament in which everyone gets “tipsy”, then gives fistfuls of money to sick and dying kids.  The program is this:  it’s an absolute blast, then Clark cries (and means it), then there’s an auction, then it’s a blast again.  Essentially, you can re-create the experience if you just drink a bunch of red wine and send the foundation a blank cheque.  (www.clarkgillies.org).

Well, as you probably know, Mr. Lemieux has a bit of an aura about him.  And, I was never a crazy hockey fanboy or anything (cough*Sean Leahy*cough), but 66 was my favourite player, so that kind of adds to it.  (Honorable mention to Joe Sakic and Steve Yzerman.)

So, he had won the long drive contest at Clark’s event for three or four years running.  This particular year, our group was the last one through the LD hole (and had consumed a few barleyhops sandwiches by then), so I teed one up high, took a Jason Zuback swing at it, and caught it on the screws – it passed the marker by a few feet.  Which, yet again, had Lemieux’s name on it.

Now, to back up a little bit, it’s like $1500 a group (or maybe a guy? I think per guy, yeah) to enter the tourney.  I was dating Bri and the time, and had promised to hang out with her and watch a par three for an ace or whatever it was volunteers did to help the charity then.  But when there was a spot open…. why, yes, I do have a collared shirt, golf shoes, socks, clubs, balls, tees and an interest in playing.

So, Freebie Mooch Bourne was hesitant to write his name on the long drive marker.  My drunken group however, thought it was an awesome idea.

Sooo, when they announced the winner of the long drive contest, and most people had seen Mario’s name on the marker while golfing, they started to clap during the introduction.  Before even hearing the name. 

Well, my name killed the buzz, and quick.  I awkwardly sauntered up to the podium, took the driver I won, and sat down.  I then immediately saw said driver get re-shafted and put in Clark Gilles golf bag.  But hey, he more-than-deserves it for all he’s done for me. 

….Back on track here….

Mario was waiting at the bar for a drink, so I decided to go say hello since I finally had a good topic to BS on at that point.  I stood beside him while he talked to someone else, and I ordered a drink.  As I did, I turned to talk to Bri (or whoever it was) and planned my intro.  Always good to incorporate Dad in there at these things, I figured.  “Hey, I’m Justin Bourne, you played against my Dad in blah blah blah.”  Yep, that was it.

I turned back around to go for it and *poof*  ninja dust, he’s gone. 

Not even just like, walking away, but he Houdini’d his way right out of the building somehow.  To this day, I have no idea what his escape route was.  He had gone home for the night, and that was the last time I saw him (I missed Clark’s event this year with brokebloggeritis). 

Still never met the guy.  Eff me.

On a Viral Song, a Conspiracy, Stand-up Comedians and New York City

 

Join me for a hockey chat at 1 PM EST on Puck Daddy.

Heyyyyyy, it’s finally “back-to-normal-for-good” time!  I ain’t goin’ nowheres, no-mores.  Just straight weekday bloggin’ for the rest of the NHL season.  Let’s strap in and come out swinging this morning, with the infectious, oh-so-viral Cee-Lo Green song you’ve probably already heard. 

Mom, if you’re reading this, you have two options:  skip hitting play on that song because of profanity, or listen to it and love it, because profanity doesn’t actually bother you as much as you pretend it does.  (Love you and hope your feeling better, BTW).  ….Just hit play:

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And now, for your tongue-in-cheek, NHL duh-duh-duuhhhhh conspiracy talk of the day….

Friend of the blog Paul Grundy wrote me an email about the Kovalchuk contract situation, volunteering some form of this theory:  is it possible that Lou intentionally drew up a contract so ridiculous that the NHL would have to red flag it?  Y’know, so the league, owners and old-school GM’s could get the stupid-contract insanity to stop?

Paul’s theory was more along the line of “maybe Lou and Brian Burke were in cahoots to stop the madness and force the league to revisit other team’s stupid deals”.  Mine (if I were to swing at a wild pitch) would be more that “maybe Lou and the league had some sort of mutual back-scratch agreement on that 17 year thing”. 

(Note: judging by the NHL’s rejection of a follow-up contract, it’s safe to say there’s no “agreement” there, Bourne)

Paul’s idea stemmed from Lamoriello admitting at the presser ”contracts like these” shouldn’t be allowed (did he know at the time that the Kovy one wasn’t going to be?), and Burke’s testimony against the deal (as a GM with a relationship with Lou, who also hates those contracts).

Of course, I don’t actually  think this is why the Kovalchuk contract thing happened.  But it’s fun to think maybe Lou used it as an add-on to the “hey, why not” flavour the deal had - basically, they either get away with a criminal deal, or he gets the criminal deals stopped.  Who knows, maybe that did cross his mind.

Either way, it’s fun to bat around (because remember, this blog isn’t exactly a news source).  Especially since, if there’s any three NHL names you’d expect to be a part of some Skull ‘n’ Bones society, it’s guys like Lamoriello, Burke and Bettman. 

What’s up tinfoil-hatters?  They cook up this scheme on purpose?

Also…. JOSE BAUTISTA MIGHT MAYBE BE POSSIBLY ON STEROIDS.

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Y’know what’s awesome?  Those walking cane things with seats that fold down.  Every time I’m in the lineup at like, the Post Office or something I immediately curse not being old.

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I only spent about four hours all-told in the city when I was in New York last week, but man-oh-man do I love it.  I took a few pics on my fancy new phone, so I’ll run those at the bottom of the blog if you’re interested.  I immediately knew I was back in the heart of the city when a six-foot gender-neutral human passed me on a crosswalk, turned around and said “haaay white boyyyyyy”.

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As a long-time stand-up comic connoisseur, I’ve thought about this before, but never really jotted it down:

Being a well-known, top-end stand-up comedian is goddamn hard.  Well, you knew that.  Let me elaborate.

It’s like trying to be one of the world’s best soccer players versus trying to do the same in hockey – the odds are against you in soccer based on sheer numbers.

What’s the ratio of people who grew up playing soccer versus hockey, like, 859:1?  Had everyone in the world grown up on skates, we surely would’ve found a bajillion more talented people who were built to be studs at the game (and I’d be even less relevant).  We even play soccer in Canada.  That’s how big that game is – it’s played on frozen tundra.

Thus, stand-up comedy is closer to soccer than hockey.  Think in high school – in every clique, the most well-liked kids are usually the ones that make their friends laugh.  Goths, nerds, jocks, band kids, nerdy goth band kids, whoever – funny matters.  And that’s where stand-up comics come from.  The funniest of the funny.  The cream rising to the top of all the crappy swing-and-a-missers in each and every group.

Whether you realize it or not, we spend years weeding out the funny people, making it part of who they see themselves as being, and thus, all of life has basically been a comedy tryout for everyone.  Comedians were originally found by their friends.  You’re so funny.  You’re hilarious.

Comics epiphany: Wait a sec – maybe I’m really funny.

Sure, any socially unaware idiot can go try to be a stand-up comic (which is why small-town comedy clubs are a crapshoot for your fun factor), but none of those people actually make it.  The best of the best – your Seinfelds, say - had to overcome insane “funny odds”, since everyone has tried to be funny.  Except I assume, in like, North Korea or somewhere.  Maybe they keep the guffaws to a minimum there.

I dunno.  That was rattling around in my head.

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Okay, my New York visit.  I try not to do too much tourist stuff there (because I am one, thus, I’m hated) – instead, my preference is to wander aimlessly and people watch. 

But this time, just to say I did it once, I happily “got robbed” for 20 bucks and went to “The Top of the Rock” (Rockefeller Building), so that’s where those pics farther down are from.  The rest are just random pics, mostly of the Gillies’ dogs, soooo…. enjoy.

My cell phone takes panoramics. Badass.

 

 Mmmm, long-distance cell phone video of NYC…. 

A few seconds of my playing wit a wittle puppy named Cash.

Cash is over a year old now, and over 150 lbs, I’d guess.

This is Bruce, the “small” one of the three.

That’s it that’s all.  See ya tomorrow!

The Bloge Salming Podcast, Now With More Me

 

The Hockey Greats Fanatasy Camp stole my voice.  Fully theived it.  Thus, I was forced to put off the debut episode of the “Bloge Salming Podcast”…. until today.

For your listening pleasure, everything you already knew about me, only this time in a 19 minute conversation with none other than Mr. Salming himself.  I’m a tad disheveled, but it came together alright!

Big thanks to Bloge for having me on, and if you haven’t seen his work before, it’s must-check-out stuff.

www.blogesalming.com

www.twitter.com/blogesalming

My favourite piece of Bloge work: Olympic Welcome Rap

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Hockey Greats Fantasy Camp – The Itinerary

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Well, everything is all finalized for the Fantasy Camp.  For our guests that read my blog, you’ll enjoy the rest of this entry.  For the rest of you, hopefully you’ll find it appealing for next year!  Our itinerary!

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HOCKEY GREATS FANTASY CAMP

ITINERARY

 

Wednesday, August 4^th – Check-in Day

Whenever-you-get-here-o’clock:  CHECK IN!

Grab a gift bag, get your room key, make yourself comfortable and grab a drink.

4:30 — We’ll have appetizers, beverages and introductions on the patio, and will use tonight as a casual get-to-know-each-other.  There will be an open bar until 8:00p.m, a cash bar after, and all the free beer (and other drinks) you can handle up in the hospitality suite (you’ve got keys and it’s loaded with wonderful Okanagan Spring 1516 and Pale Ale), but don’t feel pressured to keep up with the well-seasoned livers of our ex-NHLers.  (Disclaimer: The Bourne boys will be staying in the hospitality suite, and reserve the right to kick you the eff out when it gets too late.  Sincerely, one of the Bourne boys)

For our guests: we only invite NHLers that are fun, engaging people (with the exception of Clark Gillies who’s here out of family obligation), so introduce yourselves and sit wherever, it’s your camp.

Thursday, August 5^th – Hockey & Golf Day

7:00a.m. – 9:00a.m. — At any point in that time-window, a nice Breakfast will be available in the Grand Reserve Room for all our guests (walk out the front door of the lobby and straight into the connected building).

9:00 — Bus leaves for Royal Lepage Place. *BRING HOCKEY GEAR AND GOLF CLUBS

10:00 – 10:45 — On-ice stuff: warm-up, a few drills, a few pulled groins, that sort of thing. If you want extra help or some tips, ask!  Otherwise we’ll assume you prefer to just do what you do.

Ice Clean

11:00 – 12:00 — Scrimmage. Celebrities have been divided into teams, and our guests have both black & white jerseys, so you’ll switch which group of pro’s you play with each day.

12:whenever — Hop on bus to Shannon Lake Golf Course.  Lunch will be provided courtesy Augustino’s Restaurant.  (Note: At this time a limousine will pick-up the wives and other family members for the Okanagan wine tour.)

2:00 shotgun start — A leisurely round of golf (as in, format non-specific. Just enjoy your round)

Free, social evening — Some may need naps, some may need drinks – do your thing, it’s been a long day.

Friday, August 6^th – Hockey & Houseboat & Hotstove Day

7:00a.m. – 9:00a.m. — Breakfast

9:00 — Bus

10:00 – 10:45 — On-ice stuff: warm-up, a few drills, more pulled groins, etc.

Ice Clean

11:00 – 12:00 — Scrimmage

*We have a fairly quick transition here – the houseboat is 12:30 – 4:30, so shower up and hit the bus!

12:30 – 4:30 — Aforementioned houseboat, with a great lunch spread provided by Original Joe’s.

6:00p.m. — Down to the patio for the “Hot Stove”, sandwiches, and the open bar.  You’re welcome to ask any and all questions to our group of NHLers – a group that owns over 20 rings and boasts five Hall-of-Famers

Saturday, August 7^th – The Big Game

9:00a.m. — 11:00a.m. – Breakfast

11:45 — Pro’s depart on bus for autograph signing with the public

12:45 — Guests depart on bus for arena

2:00 — The Big Game.  We play for the VT Cup (in honour Victor Thomas Bourne), and the right to have your name permanently etched on the side.  Bob Bourne? Two for two. Justin? Oh-fer.  There will be a small crowd, and all ticket sales will go to the Rick Hansen Foundation. (The foundation will have a presence at the camp all week via their ambassadors Jeff Bourne and Stef Barber)

5:30 — Wind-up Gala begins.  As per usual, open bar with wine and other drinks

6:00p.m. — Dinner is served (Carved roast beef & salmon), closing statements and thank you’s.

 

One-Touch Passes, Zero Theme

 

Y’know what I don’t need when asking for directions?  Options.  “Well, you can either take the 40 to the 105, or you can just stay on 3rd street and take it up to -” NO.  I obviously don’t know WTF I’m doing, which is why I’m asking.  Narrow it down to one route for me and go with that set.  THANKS.

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Y’know what else is stupid?  When a bunch of people go out for dinner, the bill comes, and one or a few of the people don’t address it immediately.  It’s not that they don’t want to pay, they’re just not in any rush to deal with it.  The no-rush comes with a hint of “I’m so rich I could care less what the final number even is.” 

I sit there and stress out about the server coming back and looking to run cards or cash, and we haven’t addressed the situation.  WHY ARE YOU ALL SO CASUAL ABOUT THIS, THE BILL IS HERE!  {Also, don’t call it “the cheque”.  You pay bills, you get paid with a cheque.} *nothing to do with this past weekend Char, it’s a saved note in my phone

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I recently met Fred Couples ex-girlfriend (who had apparently just installed FJ’s, by the way.  …As in, fake jammers).  Freddy’s been my favourite golfer for as long as I can remember, but I’m a little weirded out by how he was living – at her house, with her roommates.  Hardly the palatial situation I saw for Freddy, his money, his smooth swing and his flowing hair.

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I busted out a column for USA Today on how being a free agent is like a choose your own adventure novel.  Spoiler: I didn’t finish the novel without failing the first time.

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I like that baseball’s All-Star Game means something.  All fans of other sports (hi, hockey fans) do is complain about their sport’s ASG, so it’s nice that there’s some relevance in one sport.  I don’t necessarily want to take away from the team with the best record, but surely there’s some reward we can give the NHL conference that wins.  Last change in game one?  A designated hitter that gets to roam the ice?  Extra ice girls?  Just something.

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Puck Daddy Live Chat at 1 PM EST, lets do dis like Brutus.  Puck Daddy

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It’s almost time for the British Open!  I’m pumped – I’ll actually be around the place this weekend, and my good ‘ol DVR machine is gonna let me watch Tiger’s triumphant return to glory (yes, I just predicted he’ll win).  It’s too bad golf’s majors get less interesting as the year goes on (okay, the first two are probably tied), but at least there’s always the, um… Fedex Cup?  Boo.

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So far in the “easier to get a passport in Canada or the US” debate, the US is wayyyy out in front.  Chill, Canada, it’s just me, Justin.

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Okay, I’ve gotta go chat with the boys at PD!  What’s up in the hockey world that we can discuss today?

All Over The Map

 

Guuuuuud morning.

It always feels nice to return to writing on Bourne’s Blog, because my own standards are far lower than the other sites I write for.  I was dying to call Halak “JaroChrist HaJesus” in today’s Puck Previews, but I figured that probably wouldn’t have gone over too hot.  My sincerest apologies to those of you who’re offended by my taking the lord’s name in vain, but I mean, c’mon, that’s a great nickname.

Let’s hit the links!

1) For those of you who missed it yesterday, here’s my column on the Hawks pulling the Bolland/Versteeg switcheroo, and how it was intentional.

2) Also, here’s yesterday’s Puck Daddy piece on matching lines, in which an inordinate amount of people went out of their way to point out that I’m not, in fact, the dumbest human alive.

To come:

3) When it posts, this will be a link to today’s Puck Previews I’ve written for Puck Daddy.  I’m starting to feel like Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man, but with “puck” as my “definitely”.

4) Also when it posts (today or tomorrow), this will be the link to my column “In Praise of Duncan Keith”, which wasn’t a hard one to write.

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Meandering Thoughts….

A Montreal Canadiens reporter had his tires slashed and beer cans crushed on his car in Philly.

What state of mind would you have to be in to trash the car of someone from the opposing city?  I mean, I get it, you’re drunk.  But drunk and hateful?  I don’t buy that you can get drunk and become hateful.  I think you eventually get drunk enough to act on being hateful.  It’s just so utterly ridiculous.

I’m not prone to generalize entire cities fan-bases (as so many fans love to do), but man, Philly…. pull it together. 

Nice work on the “ole” thing though.  Biting, clever… good stuff.

 

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Dale Tallon is the new GM of the Florida Panthers.  He sat with my Dad and I at a Yankee game a few years back and called his young defenseman Duncan Keith “the most underpaid player in the NHL”.  Turns out he was kinda right, since the guy’s up for (and should win) the Norris not long after saying that.

He’s the right guy to make responsible decisions (despite the qualifying offer debacle), while having a good grasp of the way today’s game is played, not the old style of hockey.  Florida could use his help.

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You know you’ve missed my cat:

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Some NHL Playoff facts you may enjoy:

*Montreal is 0-4 when they outshoot their opponents.  Soooo, that’s weird.

*Michael Leighton has a 105:50 shutout streak going.

*Thornton, Marleau and Heatley have still combined for less goals than Joe Pavelski.

*After getting pulled, Halak hasn’t lost either of the two following games.

*Chicago is 6-1 on the road.

*Only four Canadiens have double digit points, and they’ve played 15 games (with, oddly, an 8-7 record.  Well placed wins, it seems)

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That’s all I’ve got for today folks.  Feel free to add your favourite stats in the comment section below.  Those are always fun tidbits.  Go Tuesday!

 

Hockey and Traumatic Brain Injuries

 

I was really tempted to make the title “Hockey and Traumatic Brian Injuries” to act like I’ve had a few myself, but figured it’d be a tough joke to get since you probably don’t check my spelling all that closely.  Anyways, let’s get on with it!

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My oft-mentioned brother is an ambassador for the Rick Hansen foundation (Rick Hansen is the Canadian dude with Spina Bifida that WHEELED AROUND THE WORLD), which provides funding for research on Spina Bifida and other spinal cord injuries. 

And, my oft-mentioned fiancee is an Occupational Therapist at St. Joseph’s Barrow Neurological Institute, a world renowned treatment facility that people from all over the country fly into when they need the best care (the one Bret Michaels was just at).  She works in the acute brain injury rehab unit, dealing with people who’ve had traumatic brain injuries (henceforth, TBI’s).

So, when I had someone reach out to me about raising awareness of brain injuries in hockey (Mark Savard, David Booth, whatever happened to Daniel Carcillo at some point in his life), I figured my site was a perfect fit.  Chelsea Travers of CareMeridian asked if she could run a piece she wrote on Bourne’s Blog, and we’re happy to have her contribution on the site.  The more we talk about it, the more we’ll do about it, I figure. 

Happy Humpday!

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Author Bio:
Chelsea Travers is an outreach representative for CareMeridian, a subacute care facility located throughout the Western United States for patients suffering from traumatic brain injury, spinal cord injury or medical complexities, such as neuromuscular or congenital anomalies.

Hockey and TBI

 

Hockey is arguably one of the most physical professional sports. Hockey players are constantly getting body checked, slammed into boards, falling to the ice, slapped by a stick, hit by a dense, speeding puck or getting punched during a fight. If that isn’t bad enough, hockey players take part in one of the longest regular seasons of any sport, effectively taking on harsher pain for a longer amount of time throughout the year. Risk of injury couldn’t be clearer as you all too commonly see hockey players missing their front two teeth. With all of the injuries that can occur, one of the most dangerous is a traumatic brain injury (TBI).

TBI is a silent injury that can cause harm to the mind and body of an individual. An injury to the head or brain can alter someone’s life and can even require long-term rehabilitation and care from a skilled nursing facility. These injuries are often far too common in the sport of hockey and if not properly treated can permanently leave a hockey player’s life more challenging than the game they play.

TBI is an injury that Philadelphia Flyers player Ian Laperriere knows all too well. In game 5 of an NHL playoff game with the New Jersey Devils, Laperriere took a slap shot to the face that immediately caused him to bleed excessively from the wound above his eye and lose sight. Laperriere was diagnosed with a brain contusion after having a MRI a few days later. While Laperriere may have originally thought that losing sight in one of his eyes was the worst of the two injuries, in reality the bigger concern could wind up being the long-term effects of the brain injury.

Concussions have been dismissed as minor injuries as the physical nature of most sports cause them to occur regularly, but, frequently occurring or not, they are still head injuries where the brain is forced to move violently within the skull and the way it functions could change permanently. When the brain moves in such a manner, it can bruise, bleed, and even tear, which can cause irreversible damage to the victim. For a sport like hockey, this type of injury is very common and unfortunately at times ignored.

Many hockey players don’t take into account the possible effects of the injury and because it might not seem like a serious problem exists at first, they keep on skating as if nothing occurred. Being unaware of the injury makes it much more dangerous, as a mild brain injury can turn into a life threatening injury in a very short period of time without seeking immediate medical treatment.

Studies by the National Academy of Neuropsychology’s Sports Concussion Symposium in New York have shown that since 1997, 759 NHL players have been diagnosed with a concussion. Broken down, that averages out to 76 players per season and 31 concussions per 1,000 games of hockey. That is far too frequent of an occurrence for such a serious injury. It’s a frightening statistic that should send up a red flag to hockey officials that actions need to be taken to further prevent this type of injury from occurring.

The best, and sometimes only, treatment for TBI is prevention. For the National Hockey League new rules are being considered that preserve the game but also help protect the players. Rule changes concerning blindside hits, rink size (which effects players space from each other and their proximity to walls), and stronger helmet requirements all have been considered to help curb TBI and its effects. This demonstrates that the NHL is aware of the seriousness of the injury and is taking proactive steps to help prevent it from happening.

Hockey is one of the most popular sports in North America and has millions of people participating in it every year. Unfortunately, the sport comes with the risk of a TBI. With the right awareness of the injury and the necessary precautions in place, the game should be able to continue with players excited to lace up their skates and enjoy it.

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Okay, hi, it’s Bourne again.  Ten cents here:

We have to mandate soft(er)-cap shoulder/elbow pads.

We have to enforce the blind-side rule.

We have to accept the fact that playing hockey (or any sport) comes with some dangers, and if you really don’t want to get hurt, don’t play (that’s not being hardcore, or me saying “toughen up”, I mean seriously, choose not to play).  We can’t turn hockey into Scrabble because sometimes people get Scrambled.

Charging and elbowing should be called when people charge or elbow (crazy concept).  Everyone is pretty mutant-big at this point, so I’m not sure the extra decapi-stride is necessary.

And otherwise, I think the game is fine.  It’s fast, and there’s contact, so it’s dangerous.  Let’s enforce the rules as they are, but most of all, guy’s need to have some freakin’ respect for each other, and hopefully, by realizing just how serious these injuries are (MuhammedAli, MuhammedAli), hopefully guys will start taking less liberties on the ice.  It stops being a game when guys like Patrice Cormier makes opponents convulse for no apparent reason.

2010 NHL Playoffs – The Leastern Conference

 

Washington Capitals (1)

vs.

Montreal Canadiens (8)

For whatever reason, I don’t like many teams that wear red.  For example, there’s just about nothing I want to watch less than a New Jersey/Carolina series, as attested by my coverage of said series in last year’s playoffs (blatant refusal).  To make those games worse, I feel like there’s just something grinding about watching the actual colour red play red.  Anyone feel me on that? (Mmm, aesthetically soothing Canucks colours…)

For some reason, this red vs. red battle doesn’t bother me quite so much.  Like most hockey fans, I love to watch Washington.  And Montreal, though a puny little excuse for a Washington challenger, is kinda fun to watch this year too (fun like those tiny toy cars “Hot Wheels” were as a kid).

The only way Washington’s round one series had any hope of being interesting this year was if Philly had the eight seed.  It would’ve been awesome watching Carter and Richards going buck-crazy, being playoff performers out there, scoring goals….. and still losing by football scores, like 21-14.  Thatta been great.

Not much to say here, except the obvious: Washington just has way too much firepower to lose.  If the Canadiens give them so much as a scare, I fear for Washington when they play a better team.  I rate Montreal’s chances, as a percentage, at beat-it-dont-even-try.4%

PREDICTION: CAPITALS in THREE

*****

New Jersey Devils (2)

vs.

Philadelphia Flyers (7)

I think this was a tough card for New Jersey to pull, simply because I can’t believe how badly the Flyers have underachieved this year.  I mean, 88 points, in the East?  How is that possible, with their roster?  Before the season, I noticed that their back end had good transition/powerplay guys such as Pronger, Timmonen and Carle, and I remember thinking “crap, they’re gonna score a ton of goals this year.”

Combine that with with some of the games best forwards: Jeff Carter, Mike Richards, Simon Gagne, Danny Briere and crew (Claude Giroux is no slouch. Hell, Van Riemsdyk is sick too.), and Philly has a wonderful hockey team.

So what the hell is going on there?

Riiiighht, goaltending, right.  I’ve seen this play before.

On the other side of the coin, I was completely surprised by New Jersey’s record this year.  Any time you have Brodeur in net, your team can’t be bad – but past him, I didn’t see a reason for them to have much success.  I knew Parise and Zajac were great, but then what? (That, and I kinda figured Elias and Langenbrunner were past their best-before dates…. guess not).  I kept waiting for this team to trip, but it never happened.

With the addition of Ilya Kovalchuk, the Devils finally have that dynamic offensive punch you always felt that they lacked in the past.  It gives them two really solid lines (though they admit they can’t find a spot for Kovy that clicks), and combined with Brodeur, it’s become pretty clear that their season wasn’t a fluke.

{I have to point this out for the millionth time – can you BELIEVE that Kovalchuk is 230 pounds?  I’d have been off by 60 if you had made me guess two months ago.}

But looking at their D -  Andy Greene, Mike Mottau, Bryce Salvador, Colin White, Paul Martin, Mark Fraser, Martin Skoula and Anssi Salmela.  I dunno… it doesn’t feel very Cup contender-y.  They have, however, done a great job at keeping pucks out of their net this year (y’know, first-in-the-league-good, at 191 over 82 games – 2.32 per), but something about them makes me nervous.  ….And it probably has something to with NJ’s (okay, Marty’s) meltdown in the final minute of game seven against Carolina last year.

If you put the leagues most average goalie in the Flyers net - say, Dwayne Roloson – I think I’d pick them to win this series.  I like their roster that much more.  But Parise, Zajac and Kovalchuk shooting on Boucher makes it a dicey situation.

In the end, New Jersey has done too good of a job defensively to lose their first playoff series, where defense and goaltending are emphasized.  I think they’ll see round two, but barely.

PREDICTION: DEVILS in SEVEN

*****

Buffalo Sabres (3)

vs.

Boston Bruins (6)

If I were the Buffalo Sabres, I would be pissed at how the final playoff seeds ended up falling.  They (like New Jersey) were so close to getting to play an obviously worse team like the Rangers or Thrashers.  But noooo, Boston and Philly had to get their shit together at the last second, and squeak in.

This sucks, you see, because Boston and Philly aren’t as horrible as they desperately tried to convince us all they were this year.

One of the few guys pushing Ryan Miller for the Vezina this year is Boston’s Tuuka Rask.  Combine that solid goaltending with Buffalo’s Phoenix-like offense (three lines of second line forwards = good team/not great), and we may see some low scoring games – especially when you consider that Buffalo has the league’s best goaltender, and Boston can’t score (206 goals all year, good for second-to-dead-last).

But, every time you think a series is going to be a defensive suck-fest, it ends up amazing.  Using that logic, this could be a thrilling, high-scoring series.  The only people I care to see play are the goalies.  I’m not saying Derek Roy and David Krejci aren’t exceptional hockey players, I’m saying that nobody is circling dates on their calendar to see them when they come to town.

I see Boston being the better team in this series, bringing the play to Buffalo, shooting, skating, hitting, exhausting themselves, and Ryan Miller chucking up the frustrating stone wall.  Then I see the Sabres working hard and smart, capitalizing on a few nice plays, (maybe a powerplay or two?), and winning games by scores like 3-2 and 2-1.  They probably win a couple of the - oh, let’s say three – games that go to overtime.

I really wanted to pick an upset here – and the Sabres and Devils are definitely both on my “upset watch” list.  But Ryan Miller is the best goalie in the world today, and that counts for something in playoffs.  I’m siding with him.

PREDICTION: SABRES IN SEVEN

*****

Pittsburgh Penguins (4)

vs.

Ottawa Senators (5)

Congratulations, Ottawa.  You finished ahead of the slovenly pack of droolers in the East.  You stayed out of the “who’s gonna make playoffs” fracas.  And in the process, you convinced me that you’re actually a good team.  I was wrong about you.

The bad news is, you’re basically about as lucky as the Coyotes in the West.

Had Pittsburgh caught New Jersey, as they should have, you’d be playing Jersey instead.  And I like your odds there.

What I don’t like, for you, is going up against the defending Stanley Cup champs, who are healthy, and about to flip it into “game on” mode.  You’re toast.

The Penguins probably slow-played their hand a little bit too much this year.  Didn’t do enough to grab the really high seed that guarantees they get to coast through round one.  Over the long haul of playoffs, having to play a good Senators team to start things off is really going to grind on them physically.

But as far as this series goes, Pittsburgh is still Pittsburgh.  Between last years Cup champion team and this year, they cut off a couple guys that were acting as anchors, and picked up depth assets in guys like Jordan Leopold and Alexi Ponikarovsky.  You take a team that’s won the cup and make them better?  They don’t lose round one.

PREDICTION: PENGUINS in FIVE

*****

So that’s all she wrote for round one, folks!  I’ll keep a running total of how my predictions went as we go (though I won’t follow how many games it took to get it done – that’s really just there to demonstrate how confident I am in the winner I picked). 

GAME ONE OF M***********G PLAYOFFS STARTS TONIGHT!

THROW.    THE.    SNAKE.

2010 NHL Playoffs – The Bestern Conference

 

I’m picking the Sharks to win the Cup.

*waits*

AhhhhGotcha!  They suck.  Let’s make some picks.

*****

SAN JOSE SHARKS (1)

vs.

COLORADO AVALANCHE (8)

Before the season, I didn’t have Colorado pegged to be a playoff team.  Halfway through the year I looked Barry Melrose level wrong on that (y’know, the guy who didn’t think Stamkos was gonna amount to much of an NHLer?  Love the guy, but he’s building a solid reputation for his wrongitude).  By the end of the season, I had almost come full circle back to right.

They’ve got a ton of badass young talent.  But I wouldn’t bet on Colorado to win this series if Vegas doubled the odds and you paid for my wager.

Contrary to my “they suck” joke about San Jose to open this blog, I don’t think they suck.  I’m picking them to go deep – like, conference finals deep – but I wouldn’t pick them to win a series against Chicago or Detroit (both would be epic series), and the bad news for SJ is, both those teams happen to be in the Western Conference.  Which they’re in too.

I think you’ll see a great first round out of big Joe and crew, cause they’ll be fired up as all hell to prove themselves.  More than any team in the NHL this post-season, they know an early round exit means a bunch of people getting new zip codes in the off-season.

Colorado’s pace will be amazing, and Stastny will be money.  But with Nabokov in net, the Avs upset hopes are some of the lowest in the league this post-season. (Here comes an Avs sweep after that prediction, huh?)

PREDICTION:  SHARKS in FIVE

*****

CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS (2)

vs.

NASHVILLE PREDATORS (7)

Shocking truth – I don’t think Chicago’s goaltending is bad as every human on Earth seems to think it is.

Now Washington – Washington has two horrific goaltenders.  Antti Niemi and Cristobal Huet may not be the elites of the league, but they certainly aren’t the dregs either.

As I mentioned in yesterday’s blog, Nashville – despite reaching 100 POINTS this year – was EVEN in goal differential during five-on-five regular season play.  Well that’s not very good, is it?

If they struggled to create offense in the regular season, I can’t imagine it’s going to go much better in the tighter checking post-season.  And if you could sum up the general point I’ll be making in my predictions, it’s that “teams that score by committee are f****d”.  Depth is good.  No-big-guns is bad (though I will race you to pick Hornqvist in fantasy hockey next year).

In reality, the Predators are not going to lose because of the Predators.  They’re going to lose because they’re playing a team that’s gone all-in this year.  Every chip they’ve got has been pushed to the middle, with very little regard to what happens after this season.  This equals one thing: an all-star team.

Jonathan Toews, Patrick Kane, Duncan Keith, Brent Seabrook, Kris Versteeg, Patrick Sharp, Dave Bolland, Dustin Byfuglien….. really I could just type roster names til I’m out of them.  This one won’t be close.

PREDICTION: HAWKS in FOUR

*****

 

VANCOUVER CANUCKS (3)

vs.

LOS ANGELES KINGS (6)

As Bob McKenzie adamantly pointed out today, the LA Kings finished two – count ‘em, two – points behind Vancouver in the standings. It’s not so much a “3 vs 6″ matchup as it is two 4.5 seeds going at it.

This is one of those series you know is going to go six or seven games, but I’m not sure why.  Vancouver is better in net.  And up front.  And on D.

That’s not to say LA isn’t strong in all those places, because they are (101 points!).  But those Sedins have gone from point-getting and bothersome to venemous and unbelievable.  Both sides have game breakers in this one, which is why it’s going to be a blast (which, incidentally, is why Boston/Buffalo is going to be a painfully long, close series – they don’t have any).  It just so happens that the Canucks have the better ones.

Luongo finally took a step passed his “never won anything” reputation in the Olympics.  As shaky as it may have been, or whatever you may think of him, mentally, that’s huge for a guy’s confidence.  You want him in net over either of the Kings tenders, every time.

The Canucks will miss Willie Mitchell.  He’s a big part of that d-corps, but he’s not the only piece.  The Canucks will get it done, but the Kings will take a lot out of them.

PREDICTION: CANUCKS in SEVEN

*****

PHOENIX COYOTES (4)

vs.

DETROIT RED WINGS (5)

You may remember, eight or nine days ago, I wrote a column on how unfortunate (but inevitable) it was the the ‘Yotes would draw the Red Wings in the first round. 

Nothing has changed since then.

{Well, one thing has – there’s the movement, started via Five For Howling‘s Travis Hair (@TravisHair) on Twitter, to have Coyote fans throw fake rattlesnakes on the ice, I think after warm-up (check out #ThrowTheSnake on twitter).  I know folks will be worried about it costing the ‘Yotes a penalty, but it rarely does after the first occurance at any given game. 

You’ll get a warning, so just don’t do it after the first “hey stop that” (if the team has half a marketing brain – and I think they do – they’ll embrace this.  They could sell them, jack the price up and cash in).  Either way, it’s a great bit of potential hockey culture down here in the desert.  I’m tellin’ ya man, the fans need something to call their own, and this can be the start of Phoenix’s first “own thing”.  I’m on board.  But anyways, back to the series….}

These are the two best coached teams in the NHL.  Babcock coached his team through a kabillion injuries and somehow got them to 100 points for the bloody TENTH STRAIGHT YEAR, while Dave Tippett took a team most people picked to finish one place behind last, and at times, teased being the conference’s best.

The Coyotes have rock solid goaltending in Ilya Bryzgalov, which was going to be their huge advantage in a playoff series.  Unfortunately for them, Jimmy Howard found his game at the NHL level, learned to battle, and got himself into MVP talk, somehow.  At the very least, he’s a Calder top two.

But here’s where I rehash that same old point – when a game needs to be broken open, Coyotes fans will bite their fingernails halfway off everytime Henrik Zetterberg or Pavel Datsyuk has the puck.  Scoring by committee isn’t impossible, you just hope that your committee doesn’t have a first round defensive opponent of Nicklas Lidstrom, Brian Rafalski, Niklas Kronwall, Brad Stuart and crew.

At the other end, guys like Lepisto, Vandermeer and Michalek (okay, and Jovo at the defensive end) – as good as their years were – probably aren’t going to be able to stop the mix of Datsyuk/Zetterberg skill with Franzen/Holmstrom grit.

Here’s the thing.  I WANT the Coyotes to win.  I want this team to look like a great “buy low” deal for the contemplating future owners.  I want a hockey culture here.  I’m jumping in an RV with about a dozen other guys, driving up an hour before the game, getting my white out on and cheering like everyone else (yes, for the ‘Yotes).  But as a sports writer, I have to be honest.  I’d be surprised if the Coyotes won.

But then again, Coyotes fans, you may recall…. I’ve been wrong about them before.  Here’s to hoping they surprise me again.

PREDICTION: RED WINGS in SIX

*****

(Leastern Conference picks later today)

Best Week Ever – The Sportsgasm

 

ITS MASTERS WEEEEEEEK!

And every other great sports week.  Let’s dive in:

The twenty-team BBHL (Bourne’s Blog fantasy Hockey League) is down to two, and somehow, someway, I’m still alive (didn’t expect to add that to my BWE {best week ever}), did ya?  And that’s with Carey Price as one of my two goalies.  Yeesh. 

I’ll admit, I got muchos lucky in the semi-finals – drew the guy who wasn’t paying attention enough to start the right guys or even have a chat (read: make a bet), but I’ll take it.  Also, if you’re the dude who wasn’t paying attention, you have no chance of being invited back into the league next year (…without heavy bribery).

But whatever, I’m still happy.  On to the finals!

*****

Le Tigre has a press conference at 11:00 a.m. my time (2 EST) – I’m not going to live blog it, mostly cause I have other stuff I’m supposed to be doing (like, um, my job), but still, expect a tweet barrage.  Expect that all week, really.  I predict Tigs to announce Dr. Drew as his new caddy.

*****

The funniest thing George Lopez does is call himself a comedian.  Sorry, I had to get that out of my system.  Back to being positive…

*****

The Detroit Red Wings are only two points out of fifth in the West, just behind the Nashville Predators – If they catch them, Phoenix plays them in round one, which would but about as lucky as Ben Stiller in Meet The Parents (that poor guy just can’t catch a break!). 

 …..Oh god I just checked the schedule… Phoenix plays Nashville on Wednesday.  Who’s Phoenix’s ECHL affiliate?  Can they call those guys up?  Can I sign a one day deal to help them lose?  Can we dress reader “zyllyx”?  Make the Coyotes wear rollerblades?  SOMETHING?!?

*****

The worst thing to happen to the Washington Capitals Stanley Cup hopes is drawing the Flyers in round one, which as it stands right now, they would.

If it’s Boston or Montreal (Montreal especially), they’ll breeze through that first round.  Philly, unfortunately for the Caps, plays a bit of a physical game, and is suffering from the frustration of earning the awful moniker ”best team that never gets it done” in the East (maybe the league – San Jose has had a couple playoff collapses, but the Flyers have been legit contenders for a decade and never got it done).  It’d suck (for them) to have their dangly skill team to face a group of hungry, aggressive dudes.

*****

This whole “Henrik Sedin leading the league” thing is pretty awesome.

Nobody in the league has chemistry like him and his brother, as evidenced by his highlight reel.  When you watch Sid or Ovy’s, for the most part, you get the miraculous one man rushes, nifty moves, clever dekes and the lightning shots.

Henrik’s reel is far more impressive from the “utilizing your teammates” standpoint.  He fires behind-the-back no-lookers that end up directly resulting in goals.  Not neat “almosts” or plays that guys go to the bench and say “that woulda been awesome”, but tape to tape, spinning, no look, tap in goals.  They (Daniel and Henrik) almost never have to shoot the puck through a goalie, since they can just dish it around him.

Very impressive stuff.

*****

THE MASTERRRRRSSSSSSS!

The par three tournament is tomorrow, the press conferences are today, my orgasm is Sunday and the tournament starts Thursday.

For last years list of “Why I Love The Masters“, follow that link – that was puked out stream-of-consciouness style, so I’m sure I could add even more to it. 

Expect Tiger to start slow, but be a threat if he can find a way to make the cut (even when he’s been active, his first round at the Masters is his worst, with a stroke average above 72 on day one).  I’m pumped!  I’ll be live blogging it Sunday from one of those Cover It Live things if you want to watch it with me!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Predictions coming Wednesday.

*****

What a way to start the baseball season – with a Yankees loss (in Fenway).  Ahhh, spring.  Inhale, exhale that loss…. smells fresh.  Go Mets!

*****

My buddy Nick gets to my place tonight, so I don’t expect a lot of double blog entries, even though this is the ultimate week for it.  But, like I said, expect the tweet barrage.  You’ll be hearing from me!  (Go RIT!)

“8th Seeds, Who Wants Some 8th Seeds?”

 
White rabbits!

Anyone else say that at the start of every month for luck?  I’m gonna say my family’s been doing it for like, 15 years – the earlier you say it on the 1st, the better the luck that month.

Also, throwing perfectly good money into a well is good luck.  Mutated clovers are too.  Totally makes sense.

*****

Speaking of luck – with a little of it, could you see Calgary or St. Louis sneaking ahead of Colorado for eighth in the Western Conference?

Yeesssssss you could.

Colorado’s remaining six games see them play the Flames head-to-head once (tomorrow!  Ooo), the Sharks, the Blackhawks, the Kings, the Canucks and a freebie against the Oilers (or is it?!).

They’re up two points on the Flamers (with a game-in-hand… at-hand?), so for conversation sake, lets say Calgary beats them tomorrow.  They’d both have 89 points, and I could see Colorado being below .500 in those last five games, since, y’know, four of the five teams are ahead of them in the standings.

Calgary, admittedly, doesn’t have a much easier schedule – Blackhawks, Sharks, Wild, Canucks – but all they’d have to do down the stretch is win three to catch the Avs.  Exciting stuff.

I’ve included the Blues in the hunt too – six points out with six games to go, largely because they seem to be turning it around, and you never know.  After winning three straight, they’re schedule includes games versus the Predators, the Stars, Blue Jackets, Ducks and Blackhawks.  Five wins isn’t completely impossible, and might be enough to get it done, if the two teams ahead of them act like it’s the Eastern Conference.

So here’s to a great finish out West!

As for the East….

All I’m wondering is, “the Isles are three points up on the Maple Laffs, and play Pittsburgh, New Jersey, Pittsburgh to end the season.  Could they fall far enough to steal the increased lottery odds?”

I think they can, only cause the Laffs can’t do ANYTHING right this year.

On a more relevant note, Boston, Montreal and Philadelphia all have 82 points while the Thrashers have 80 and the Rangers have 78.  What a mess (congrats to Tampa for being 3-7 in its last ten, taking the title of “biggest blown opportunity” away from the Rangers at the last second).

Montreal has one less game left, but a joke of a schedule coming home (After the Flyers they have the Islanders, Hurricanes, Maple Leafs and an SPHL team, I think).

So wait… Boston/Montreal won’t be a 1-8 or 2-7 matchup this year?  But it’s always like that….

*****

The NHL’s biggest “I can’t believe that guy doesn’t wear a visor” has to be Ruslan Fedetenko, right?  Baby face, happy guy, plays a skill game, seems afraid, gets hurt (but not injured) a lot….  Everytime I see him I’m surprised.  Who else is on this list?

*****

The NHL’s biggest “numbers-inflating roster spot” has to be A) Alex Burrows spot with the Sedins  B) Steve Downie’s spot with St. Louis/Stamkos line  or C)  ???  Whatchu got?  (Getting to wear a Capitals jersey?)

*****

The guy pumping it out in the picture below (Nick Lowe) is here for a golf weekend, then a few days at my place.  You may remember his picture from a previous blog.  In this pic, he just tied the game up with minutes left – I score on the next shift to beat North Dakota (that years version of the Sioux had Toews, Stafford, Smaby, Zajac, Oshie, Brian Lee, and was goaltended by Lamoureux or Jordan Parise), the weekend my Dad was in Alaska.  Special times.

***** 

Kesler vs. Morris, O’Brien vs. The Roxy, Twitter

 

Let’s start this thing off right today: 

First, happy three-year anniversary to my loving bride-to-be.  The fun part about a pre-marriage anniversary is picking the arbitrary date that the two people became an item.  We picked the day Bri flew to Alaska on her spring break instead of Florida, cause lets face it, that’s a pretty big commitment.

Second,

…because, frankly, it does.

.

Let’s crank out the NHL relevant stuff before we lighten my TBAF (final explanation, that’s “to blog about files”.  Anyone who joins us after this can stay in the dark on that acronym).

Kesler vs. Morris

Saying the hit is entirely Morris’ fault (as some people are) is a dash of wound seasoning (squeeze of lemon, pinch of salt) that the guy probably doesn’t need.  What he does need, is to know that the hit was just as much his fault as Kesler’s.

As much as we want them to be, these hits are rarely one guy’s fault, black and white.  This one was the perfect example. 

Morris’ error is obvious – “take the hit to make the play” is an age old expression, and he tries to turn away from it (to me, it kinda highlights the way Morris plays, like the guy in shinny who’s annoyed at the guy on the other team who’s ”trying too hard”).  Kesler has a ton of speed going on the forecheck, takes about four more hard strides (charge, board, call it whatever you want), then finishes a guy in a sort-of-questionable-but-not-really spot.

Morris’ penalty is the pain, and Kelser got ejected, which I’m fine with.  Issue over.

You know what I couldn’t help but think?  Man… that’s some great work ethic by Kesler.

Shane O’Brien vs. Being Awesome

I have such a soft spot for this story, because as the heading indicates, I think it’s awesome.  I feel like I know which guy in the dressing room O’Brien is now.  The guys probably love him, but in the “you did WHAT, you idiot??” type of way.  Also, I guarantee he wasn’t alone, but the other Canuck was responsible enough to make it the next day.

I also love the vague, parent-like comment by Alain Vigneault: “we have a plan for Shane O’Brien”.  It’s just a fun story made more fun by the not-so-subtle clues that that SOB (Shane O’Brien) likes to have a good time a little too often.

Deadspin’s take is here – it’s entertaining, but I’ m not so sure how I feel about their assessment of the Roxy.  It tries to be a dive?  I kinda feel like it tries too hard not to be one.

Prust vs. Tavares

Now THAT’S being dumb.  Broken neck territory on that hit.

**********

It’s TBAF Time!

Started my “100 Pushups” quest yesterday – turns out I won’t be able to report on progress, cause you never really bang out as many as you can until the last set when you’re SPENT.  So expect less frequent updates, but know that’s it’s damn hard, and happening.

*****

I received a question yesterday on the value of heckling (thanks for the email, Mike): it’s a rare, rare, rare case where you can make any actual difference.  Group heckling is sweet, but for the most part, all of it serves no purpose other than being fun to do and entertaining for your fellow fans.

Some players say they “love to get boo’ed” and I’m FULLY one of those guys.  100%.  For a confident guy, there’s something so satisfying about being the villain.  You know you’re doing something right if the other teams fans have reasons to hate what you’re doing.  Boos are identical to home cheers, just translated to road language.

{The only really unwelcome fan behaviour is the guys who yells a running dialogue of advice.  “Shoot!”  “Pass!”  “Dump it in!”  “C’mon coach, get Jovonovski out there!”  HEY, THAT GUY.  FROM A PLAYER, AND YOUR SURROUNDING FANS, GO HEADBUTT A PITCHFORK.  THEY CAN’T HEAR YOU AND WE’RE NOT IMPRESSED.}

*****

Twitter is only as valuable as you make it.  As in, you need to put the time into adding the right people for it to be productive and fun.

And, you can’t follow too many people, or you get so bogged down that scanning your Twitter Feed feels like ACTUAL READING, which isn’t as fun.  I spend every morning cruising through, looking for the good sports links, so I wanna use today to make sure I’m not missing anything or anyone great.

I’m gonna close out today with a list of the top people I recommend you follow to help you enjoy Twitter.  In turn, I hope you give me a couple really quality names.  Here goes:

Bill Simmons (@sportsguy33)
Down Goes Brown (@downgoesbrown)
Time Magazine (@TIME)
The Onion (@TheOnion)
Sport Illustrated Classic Pictures (@si_vault)
Steve Rushin, Writer (@SteveRushin)
Drew Magary, Deadspin (@drewmagary)
Stu Hackel, NY Times (@STUHACKEL)
Stewart Cink (@stewartcink)
Fake AP Style Book (@fakeAPStylebook)
Shit My Dad Says (@shitmydadsays)
Shit My Darth Says (@shitmydarthsays)
Chris Botta, FanHouse/Isles Point Blank (@ChrisBottaNHL)
McGruber (@grubes69)

You can add me at www.twitter.com/jtbourne

Your turn, folks. Whatcha got for me?

100 Pushups, Injury Anguish, and the Presidents Trophy

 

When I retired from hockey, I was PUMPED to not have to work out.  I knew I would want to, someday, but I needed some time where I didn’t have to shower three goddamn times a day.

I had always envied that about people not playing hockey – for the most part, you wake up, shower, and that’s it for the day.  You’re done.  Hockey players never get to do that.  Minimum two a day, and on game days, three (post-morning skate, post-nap wake-up shower, post-game).  You’re day has too many starts and stops.

So for my first summer out of the gym, I just enjoyed getting up, showering, and having a full day.  That formula, for those of us who consume like gluttons, equals gaining a bit of mass.  So, I’ve been making a committment to working out the past month or two - and by working out, I mean cardio, because I could care less about being jacked…. I just don’t want to have to buy all new clothes.

That said, it’s probably time I try to get some muscle tone again.  So, at the recommendation of Deadspin’s Drew Magary, I’m going to take up the program from 100 Push-ups (assuming my sterno-clavicular joint doesn’t get too angry – it doesn’t like when I lift too often, after the abuses it suffered.)  The goal being, obviously, to be able to do 100 consecutive pushups after seven weeks.

I’ll be doing the push-ups Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, and will be reporting progress the following days .  I took the first test yesterday (as many as you can, to fatigue) to see which program I’d be on, and busted out 38 (a far cry from the 80 I once did at an Islanders camp).  So here we go! 

Day 1:  38

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Any other Isles fans out there as worried as me about them becoming the Montreal Expos?  Y’know, drafting well, developing talent, then trading those guys for picks once they’re ”ready”?  What’s the status of the Lighthouse project out there? I haven’t kept up on progress — lord knows Wang ain’t gonna pay to keep all these kids if the team’s future isn’t the one he envisioned.

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Can you imagine the mental anguish of being injured so badly you may never get to prove you’re worth the big contract you signed?  I know lots of you will joke that you’d take the big contract, but it must be a horrible feeling to be Rick DiPietro or Greg Oden, and to think – “If I got the chance to be a bust, and was one, I could handle this – but being called a bust after never physically getting the chance to play feels horrible.”  I definitely have sympathy for those guys.

I think Garth Snow has done a great job with the Islanders.  He’s in an Obama-like situation - digging the Islanders out of the mess made by the previous administration.  But still, there’s just too many uncertainties in life to ever sign an employee to 15 years.  Too much can happen to think you wouldn’t need a review after say, five, where you can say ”hey, nice work, let’s re-up your deal.”  It’s like my Arizona drivers license that expires in 2047.  Really? I don’t have to take a single eye test between now and when I’m 65?  That seems safe.

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The NHL’s Presidents Trophy has an offensive bias.

Lets face it – if two teams come into a game lethargic, you can play smart defense and work less hard.  If your team scores mucker-style playoff goals, you need to have the throttle down to be effective (and you need some bounces).  So when you can’t be at that 100%, teams that have dangly skill guys (who are dangerous at half-speed) can still put enough pucks in the net to win.

And over the course of an 82 game season, plenty of games are played by two worn down teams.  Which is why, when you have the natural firepower of a Washington, you can score that extra goal or two without the extra effort, and collect your two points.  In the past, it hasn’t been that the Presidents Trophy winning team has the best team, they’ve just had the best skill guys.

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Tampa Bay has the 8th best powerplay in the NHL, the leagues 5th, 6th, and 26th leading scorer, the number two overall draft pick from last year, and what should be good goaltending.  They’re currently three points ahead of Toronto, who hold the title “dead last in the Eastern Conference”.  Ooo, idea for who to replace Rick Tocchet with:  Amazingly, he’s still available — Barry.  Melrose.

Your Unnecessarily Happy Monday Post

 

Few things make me as happy as when Down Goes Brown tweets that he has a new entry up.  He is, unequivocally, the best provider of hockey funny on the ‘net, made better by the fact that he seems to be well informed.

The best part is, his type of infotainment (mmm, buzzwords…) represents the direction sports coverage is moving.  Thanks to the internet, there’s alternatives to ESPN’s ”pre-season-baseball-is-something-to-be-taken-seriously” tone.  Sites like his (and hopefully mine) are like sports version of The Daily Show.  You don’t always tune in to learn about politics (or sports), but you can’t help but pick up a few things as you go.

If you want a hockey blog that’s basically the CNN of what’s going on with the NHL’s major topic du jour, Stu Hackel runs the NY Times Slapshot Hockey Blog, and does a great job of providing the big picture.  I like to read his daily entry, right-click all the links, open them in new windows, and spend the next hour catching up on whats going on with the more serious side.

So imagine my delight (and jealousy) when today’s Down Goes Brown post revealed a partnership between the two blogs.  Well played, NY times – good to see you working to meet the interests of more hockey fans.

Also, the Down Goes Brown partnership with Bloge Salming has provided us with a number of hilarious hockey videos (remember the Olympic hockey rap?) it’s a shame they usually pertain to the *gag* Maple *dry-heave* Leafs.  Here’s one of the more recent gems, an “NHL on NBC promo spot”. 

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As for your own resident (and often cynical) hockey blogger, I say good morning!

If a week could be an “eve”, this week would be BestSportsWeekEver Eve (rolls off the tongue, eh?). 

The good thing about “Eve’s” (Christmas, New Years, um… Labour Day?), is that they’re usually fun too.  So lets have some.  Here’s some stuff that’s great right now, to set you on a positive course for your week:

*Fans are actually attending games in Phoenix….  Because they’re winning….  Like a certain blogger once wrote would happen.  Be prepared - I fully intend to go “Fire Joe Morgan”-style on my own pre-season article to validate myself.  Go Coyotes!  (Today’s all-too-obvious tidbit for Coyotes fans: Catching San Jose just because the most important thing in your world.  You should start cheering like it’s playoffs, for real…. You know Detroit is gonna pass Nashville for 5th.  Nobody wants to play one of the best teams in the league as a five seed).

*It’s spring.  I haven’t exactly been suffering over here in Phoenix in the winter, but damn, is it nice out these days. 

*We’re a few days behind Puck Daddy over here, but I wanted to boost our egos on my blog today anyway - sometimes even the best players eat it, just like you!  Enjoy these two shootout fails:

 

(I love that the ref waves his arms, signaling “no goal!”  Thanks, Judge Judy.  That was a tough call.)

*My TBAF (to blog about files) are stuffed with awesomeness.  It’d still be a good week if the NHL wasn’t heading to playoffs, college hockey wasn’t headed to the Frozen Four, March Madness wasn’t headed to the Final Four, the Masters weren’t coming up, baseball season wasn’t starting, NBA playoffs weren’t starting and all that other stuff…. but it’s all happening, so buckle in.

*Bourne’s Blog recieved a couple much appreciated donations this week, with a bonus:  One of them was it’s first from an NHL Hall-of-Famer.  So just think, when you’re commenting, some legit hockey people are reading your opinions (and probably fully judging you).  So keep up the good work, my entries are nothing without your follow-up. {A lot of my buddies that still play at the highest levels periodically check-in and recommend topics, so they’re judging you too.}

For those of you who’re thinking “eff you with the positivity, it’s Monday”, that’s fine.  I’m a prick too.  But just relax for today, and we’ll get to hating stuff tomorrow.  Like 3D TV’s (I just bought a TV, in September, you a-holes) and Rick Dipietro’s structural make-up (At least Roloson’s catching Chelios in age!).

Happy Monday.  YOU KILL THE JOE, YOU MAKE SOME MO!

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UPDATE: Go read my thoughts on implementing a transitionary visor rule for The Hockey News.  St. Louis Blues defenseman Tyson Strachan already wrote me to tell me it’s a dumb idea, soo….. hot start, Bourne.

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Also – a couple requests for the “Jim Playfair melts down” video, so here ya go.  Dude looks like my college coach Dave Shyiak, if Shyiak was full of meth, speed and malt liquor:

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