Seabrook/Wisniewski, Campbell/Bourne, Cooke/Bruins

 

Yesterday, Mike Wazowski James Wisniewski got suspended for eight games.  I guess we all really worked Colin Campbell to a climax on that one, huh? 

Whatever – if you saw the Wisniewski interview, he looked like he felt really, really bad…. that he got suspended.  I’m not saying the guy’ll play like an angel the rest of his career, but forfeiting the price of a nice house in Phoenix might give him pause for a few seconds, I would think.

I messed up by not running the hit yesterday, and by only commenting on it in the comment section.  Here’s me making up for it, if you haven’t already seen it…. which you have, so umm… move on.

While we’re discussing Colin Campbell, as we often to seem to be….

My Dad and ol’ Coley couldn’t exactly be described by the phrase “BFF’s” back when they played.  ….Oh look, two clips – and by the way, they’re awesome – the commentators crack me up.

Colin Campbell vs Bob Bourne

Ahh, that felt good and it wasn’t even me.  I love the casual nature of the color guy in this one, doing the math on PIMS.  Just another whistle between plays…

Apparently they also score fight wins by take-downs, as Campbell was the “clear winner” against Sutter.  PS, that first left from my Dad was a bomb, thank god it didn’t land, for everyone’s sake.

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Okay, on to Matt Cooke vs. the Boston Bruins:

What did people think was going to happen? 

The circus demonstrated how badly some people are out of touch with the realities of professional hockey.  This was the type of thing that emphasizes to the guys in the room how much certain fans and media outside that room don’t get their job.

Every night some guy has a target on his chest, which is of secondary importance to the win.  Every night. It’s a long season, and you play the same teams plenty of times over the year, hell, over a career.  And, it’s not a cliche - their jobs ACTUALLY depend on winning.  And people flew in to catch this game expecting to see fireworks while the biggest fight is their battle for eighth? 

Granted, this one happened to be an extreme case (due to it’s blatant nature, followed by no suspension), and the guys are well aware of that.  But the night unfolded the way it did to appease those that went out of their way to be a part of the “event”.  Cooke had to fight if he didn’t want to be crucified in the (for once) vendetta-aware media, and the Bruins were no different.  In no way am I saying they wouldn’t have fought if not for the media, I’m just saying it wouldn’t have gone down like a bout at Caesars Palace 1:58 in.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The fact is, these are professional athletes, and though they often act spontaneously, you don’t get to that level without some measure of discipline.  Many-a-nights you leave (frustrated) after taking a number and just playing the game.  Just because the media sniffed out the obvious “hey, their gonna be mad at that guy, right?”, this all seemed a little…. forced.  It doesn’t usually happen the quarter-second after a guy’s skates hit the ice, but eventually, guys get found.

And it’s not always a fight – a late hit, an extra shot, whatever you can get in there and not hurt your teams chances.  As soon as a guy puts his vendetta ahead of the team goal, he sits.  He may get healthy scratched the next day (and the coach will tell the media its because a guy wasn’t “effective” to avoid the circus.  Read: Avery), and if it happens enough, he may get dealt.

For those who thought they’d fight Cooke everytime he stepped on the ice, chase him around and make highlight-worthy plays on him…. with Colin Campbell and every east coast media guy there?  To quote NFL Countdown, C’mon, man.  In the end, they may not be done with him, but they aren’t idiots.  They put on the show people came to see, right away.  But they’ll find him again when it’s not mid-playoff push.  They’re disciplined.  They’re pros.

Buy and Sell: Some NHL Teams As Stocks

 

Snap back to reality, and just like that, the multicolored rings, skin-tight lycra and Giant Inflatable Beavers are a thing of the past.  Last night, the puck dropped on Colorado – Detroit, and some very important points changed hands.

Before last nights NHL game, I was seriously contemplating putting a chunk of money down on Detroit, but simply don’t have a large chunk of it, which makes putting it somewhere kinda difficult.

I once heard that the NHL, gambling-wise, is the most predictable of the major sports.  That is to say that, for the most part, the good teams are usually the good teams, and Columbus will flouder in perpetuity.  I almost made that bet, because there’s still some inevitable leveling that needs to happen for the NHL season to get back to normal, and two teams played last night that moved in the directions they’re probably going in the second half.

And that’s no knock on Colorado – I believe in them a lot more than a few of the other surprise teams – it’s a testament to Detroit’s being-Detroit-ness, and having too much team to miss the playoffs.  Combine that with the now-healthy/running-out-of-time factor, and picking against the Wings (who have a rested goalie) down the stretch is madness.

Here’s five teams (as stocks), and I’ll letcha know what to do with your money!

Detroit:

As I just mentioned, they’re decent.  Pavel Datsyuk, Henrik Zetterberg, Johan Fransen, Tomas Holmstrom, Brian Rafalski, Nicklas Lidstrom, Nick Kronwall and the discovery of Jimmy Howard are the oh-so obvious reasons why (oh, and that Babcock guy).  They haven’t been healthy, and haven’t had a chance to be “them” yet.  BUY!  BUY!

Phoenix

I wrote an article at the start of the year for the Arizona Republic trying to defend the fans lack of attendance here.  My defense for them was, the team has sucked, sucks and will suck (you can teach English as a second language using that sentence, PS).  It turns out that that wasn’t a very smart angle to take upon moving to Phoenix, as it’s made getting credentialed in the press box a skosh harder, only made worse by the fact that I was horribly, horribly wrong.

So to take the angle I’m about to take is not something I want to do.  It’s just…. look, Coyotes fans:  Your roster has to catch up to you eventually, but that’s not a good argument for you because you love your roster.  Try this on: your d-corps is playing over their heads out of this world (leading the NHL in goals by d-men, really?).  They’ve done great up ’til now.  But Anaheim is about to get a bunch better.  Detroit is too.  So is St. Louis.  Then you’ve got San Jose, Chicago and the rest of the conference to contend with.

The problem?  11 of your last 15 games are on the road (I want to say nine in a row at one point).  I’m not sure how far I expect the fall, but it’s definitely out of home ice advantage.  So sorry, sell. (NOT LITERALLY, BALSILLIE, PUT YOUR WALLET DOWN!).

Anaheim

As Hiller showed with the Swiss in the Olympics, he’s the real deal.  Anaheim did a great thing in committing to him.  What they haven’t done great this year, is win.  I’m sure last year the system of finish eighth then reveal your true colours isn’t exactly the game plan, so I think we’ll see them revealved a little sooner this year.  San Jose is praying I’m wrong – they see the potential 7/8 seeds as Detroit/Anaheim and are already packing for an early summer.  Buy yourself a little bitta Duckstock.

St. Louis

Since Davis Payne’s arrival, St.Louis has been 11 – 8 – 3, not exactly setting the world on fire.  But any team that’s leaning on a foundation of David Backes, TJ Oshie, Eric Johnson and an under-achieving goalie can get itself righted.  They’re young guys, for sure, but they’re gaining experience and confidence as they go, so buy, BUY, BUY!

Buffalo

Down the stretch, I’m less trusting of the teams that have blown expectations out of the water, because there’s a reason people didn’t pick them to finish that high in the first place (looking at their roster, how can they be this good?).  People knew Ryan Miller was good, but “world’s best” good?  They may falter because they use this guy for not just a crutch, but a walker with tennis balls on the front to slide around on.  (Would you rather finish fourth with a burned-out Miller, or sixth/seventh with a rested one?  They should let him chill down the stretch a bit).  Miller has, in the past, started much better than he’s finished, because he’s a slight guy who gets overplayed and worn down.  Look for reality to set in a bit for the Sabres, sell!

Worth Mentioning:

I think the Kovalchuk trade was huge for the Devils – I’d be picking them to drop without that move.  But there’s another reason why it’s tough to pick them to drop:   The bottom half of the Eastern Conference is horrible.  Just horrible.  Atlanta, Florida, Carolina…. there’s just too many free wins for the boys at the top to pick teams like NJ to drop.

I’d mention the Isles as a team headed south if there hadn’t already set up permanent residence there (Hey, Ricky’s hurt!) ….2-8 in their last ten (horrible prediction – the Isles finish in the bottom five, get crazy lucky and win the draft lottery, then a few months later trade some sparklingly talented kid for draft picks cause they don’t actually want to have to pay too many good players). 

As for penny-stock moves, I think you’ll see Tampa Bay and Toronto finish the season stronger than the first two-thirds.

So there ya have it!  Where am I a horrible idiot (Jim Cramer from Mad Money), and where am I an awesome genius (Justin Bourne from Bourne’s Blog)?

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Tomorrow I’ll be live blogging trade deadline day with the team at Hockey Primetime.com (here, on my blog), from like 9:30 a.m. (EST) til forever.  I’ll be on a few radio shows.  I’ll be texting my friends that play for dirt.  Come by and say hi!

 

(Olympic Hockey) LIVE BLOG, Tiger Woods Press Conference

 

LIVE BLOG starts a few paragraphs below, skip on down if you don’t care about my thoughts on Olympic hockey.  I don’t blame you if you don’t.  I barely do.

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Resuming a debate from yesterday:  If you were a GM building a team, would you rather have Rick Nash or Ilya Kovalchuk?  Tough call right?  Nash is a handful out there man, I certainly don’t envy d-men trying to stop him.  I feel like he gets 10 chances to Kovalchuk’s one, but Kovalchuk buries his like he’s hiding a dead body.

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So, Canada struggles against the Swiss (who, you would assume, DOMINATE the neutral zone).  I DVR’ed the game and chucked it on again when Bri went to bed to see what I could see. 

I saw Canada looking just fine.  They created a ton of chances, and really, the Swiss didn’t have many of their own (though I would’ve liked to see their first goal, THANKS CNBC for rolling out your newest hockey coverage feature, COMPLETELY ARBITRARY COMMERCIAL BREAKS.  Now seems like a good time, sell the people some detergent.

What that game did do, was make the Canada/US game that much more exciting for me.  The way the tournament format works, those top four spots are crucial, and both teams could still easily grab one.  And while we were floundering against the Swiss (again), it wasn’t like the US was running through Norway (until the end). But then, I know, it’s kinda hard to when you know you can win in autopilot.  Plus, Norway has TORE VIKINGSTAD, so they’ve got that goin’ for them.

But hockey isn’t the big news story of the day.  Tiger is.  And what you don’t need, is some media outlets moralistic view of what Tiger needs to do to make amends for being a slimy scuzzbucket.  What you need is the view of Bourne’s Blog - all the guy is to me is an entertainer, and that’s what he’s going to do again.  So take the stage Tiger, and dance, playboy, dance!

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TIGER WOODS LIVE BLOG PRESS CONFERENCE

Alright, first note – if Tiger says he won’t play in the Masters, the live blog immediately ends so I can shatter the nearest glass and eat the shards.

Tiger’s therapy called for a week off, which is why he’s doing the press conference today.  So yeah, it has nothing to do with taking away eyes from the tournament being sponsored by the same people who just dropped him from their sponsorship list.  Seriously.

And the last note before we get underway, is yes, I realize this is lowest common denominator stuff.  But let me have this.  Sometimes it’s fun to live down to the title “blogger”.

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8:35: ESPN has the ghost of Rick Reilly chime in on his thoughts about Tiger.  The guy looks like all that rain in Vancouver actually did soak his skin to a wrinkly, pruny mess.  Sor-ee, Rick.

8:55:  Tiger has serious security detail with him.  There’s three dudes with guns, and Elin with a nine iron.

8:56:  As Justin_Stangel tweeted, the official press conference rules are as follows:  No multiple cameras, no questions and no fat chicks.

8:59:  Did you hear that Phil Mickelson called Elin Nordegren? He asked her for some tips on beating Tiger.  (Ahhh, what a gold mine of material.  Thanks Tiggs)

9:00:  Just had this one sent to me:  “The police asked Tiger’s wife how many times she hit him. “I can’t remember,” Elin said, “just put me down for a 5.”

9:03:  This feels 100% like an SNL skit.  LIVE FROM NEW YORK, ITS SATURDAY NIGHT!

9:05:  Oh wow, this is actually really sad.

9:06:  Wait, no it isn’t.  Did he just remind us of his charity work?  Holy crap Tiger, you really missed the mark with the “I’m actually still great” hint.

9:08:  Okay, it’s funny again.  Thanks for this one:” Tiger’s other women aren’t mistresses. They’re provisionals.”

9:10:  It wouldn’t have killed the guy to give this a run-through in the mirror once or twice, hey?  Did he get to see the script before they turned the cameras on for his monologue?

9:11:  Why do I feel like I’m being scolded?  Great point by Josh in comments – he should just put a ball down on a tee and swing.  I’d golf clap and forget this speech ever happened.

9:13:  I’m boggled that people can talk this long without making an actual point.

9:14:  Buddhism!  Yes!  What a twist!  Tiger’s a big fan of rubbing belly’s, apparently.

9:15:  HOW DID HE NOT WEAR RED FOR THE BIGGEST MOMENT OF HIS CAREER?

9:16:  Therrreee’s the orchaestrated tears.  I thought we’d see more of those. 

9:18:  Tiger hugs his old college teammate, who knows he’s crying because now he actually only gets one woman for the rest of his life.  Tiger sobs “I’m just too famous to get … sob… away now.”

9:20: No mention of the Masters, but a mention of Buddhism.  I did NOT see that coming.  Aight, I’m out people.  What’d you think?

Milbury and McGuire Try To Solve a Sudoku

 

Mike Milbury and Pierre McGuire try to solve a sudoku, the transcript:

Pierre: You see what’s happening here, Mike, is they’ve given us the “medium” level Sudoku to solve right off the top.  MEDIUM.  That’s how advanced these guys know we are.  Our first ever attempt at solving a Sudoku, but they’ve seen the passion and drive in which we work, and know we could solve a medium right off the top.  At only 49 years of age.  FOURTY-NINE!

Mike:  One thing you have to like about the Sudoku book is the answers section in the back.  While most Europeans doddle around, looking for answers and thinking through strategy, the North American players know to cut to the back, find the answers, and do it the right way.

Pierre:  This kid Milbury was drafted to do Sudoku’s out of Boston at seven years old, but was so good at punching teachers they turned him into a hockey player first – never got a chance to fulfill his destiny as a Sudoker, but just look at him go – heading straight to the corners of that big square and immediately filling in answers from the back.

Mike:  Look, I disagree with you there –

Pierre: – You can see what Milbury’s thinking there—wait, what?

Mike:  Oh.  I dunno, I wasn’t really listening, just figured it was time to say that.

Pierre:  Lookit the heart on this Milbury kid – not even into his third line of the conversation and already gettin’ in guys faces.  This kid is no-holds barred.  He’s a star.  Should crack the under-60 team this year.

Mike:  I finished.  The answers were all right here. *shows back page*

Pierre:  YEARS OF AGE!  HEART!  CAAANAAADIAAAN!

Avatar, Figure Skating, Lockouts, Milbury, Tiger

 

I finally got around to seeing Avatar last night, on a Bri-sponsored date.

We did it the right way – IMAX, 3D, a sack of popcorn bigger than the screen, all that good stuff.  And I’ve gotta say….  WOW.  Just wow.  That movie was unbelievable.  I was 90% certain I would leave going “meh”, but I gave it a fair shot, and man, I thought it was just great.  It’s like Planet Earth on acid, splashed with a pretty cool story.  Check it out before you have to watch it on your 18″ RCA at home.

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I don’t get why male figure skating has to be so flamboyant.  I really don’t.  It’s the same as “why doesn’t Norway have a good hockey team?”

Why all the glitter and jazz hands to distract from one of the most unbelievably difficult events in individual sport?  Triple spins on skates?  And you need SEQUINS to make it impressive?

I understand not wearing something loose, as that would detract from your ability to perform.  But I find all the pomp and flash detract from my attention on what they’re actually able to accomplish.  There’s too much substance buried under all that style. 

But, I guess every sport has a culture.  The American snowboarders are rocking the jeans and plaid look (because the Cobain/grunge/Seattle look needed to be revived…. okay, I actually like the their gear), so I guess the figure skaters can rock bedazzled unitards and sparkles, if that’s what the culture is.  What they do is still ultra-impressive (just look at this pages bottom image for proof).

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In all of ESPN’s holy-crap-there’s-nothing-to-coverness, they’ve been chucking around the possibility of NFL and NBA strikes.  Do you think all those fans would immediately forgive “us” for the hockey lockout if that happened?  Would they come running back?  They would right?  Please pay attention to us.  Please!  I desperately want to make love to a schoolboy.

 

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 So Roenick and Milbury are the newest Pierre McGuire and Milbury.  As in, duo who argues because they’re both so opinionated they both have to be somewhat wrong.  I think the reason we’re seeing more Inflamatory Mike is that he’s starting to get comfortable on-air.  He probably started as a decent GM too *gag*, but now that he thinks he’s safe in his analyst job, he’s starting to say the stupid red flag things that make people go “…pardon?” (like that time when he started saying things like “Do you think we can turn Chara, Luongo, Jokinen and the future Spezza pick into some real Yashiny/Kvasha/Parrish-ish type guys?”).

My first taste of this was when Inflamatory Mike explained in a sentence or two to Clark Gillies that, since he had been with the Islanders for 13 years, and Clark played there for a mere 12, he was as much or more of an Islander.  This was spurred on by a bit of Grandpa’s cough syrup, it’s safe to say, but there were some mighty unhappy ex-Islanders in the room after that.  Since, y’know, Mike said it on the microphone while hosting an event to a bunch of them.

Let’s not launch a Milbury hate parade in the comments section.  We’ve covered he’s not the most popular guy, I just wanted to tell the “Mike’s a true Islander” story.

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Last for today: Tiger speaks tomorrow.  Holy crap.  This means a return to golf.  Before the Masters.  Holy crap.

I sure hope he apologizes to us for cheating on his wife.  Wait… why’s he holding a press conference again?

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Fact:  You can’t do this.

Canadian Hockey Rap. Sad. Funny. AWESOME.

 

I’ve decided it’s ridiculous that when I add stuff to my blog during the day, I add to the bottom of that current day’s entry.  Nobody ever checks back to see the same blog.  I always just liked how neat and orderly it kept things, one entry a day.  Fuggit.  I’ma start adding new stuff as it’s own entry, because apparently that Deadspin model is somewhat effective.

Here’s what I wanted to add to today’s blog.  It’s amazing that I fit the exact criteria of someone who would love this unhealthy amounts – a Canadian rap fan who follows hockey.  Down Goes Brown rules. He really, really does:

Breaking For The Olympics Is The Right Move

 

Well hi!  Welcome to the best site for Olympic hockey coverage, assuming you like it covered once a day and with Canadian bias.  You do?  Cool.

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Olympic hockey is unparalleled. 

After each of my college seasons, the team would agree to meet once or twice a week for a shinny game, Canada vs. “Planet” USA.  Without fail, the game would end up at least semi-serious and way too intense, so it’s easy to understand why involving the pride of every person in the country really ramps things up.  It’s also really fun that we all get to pretend that the winner of one game (see: February 21st, Canada vs. USA) is better at hockey for the next four years.

I’ve heard sports pundits talk about how bad the Olympic break  is for the NHL, how no other league would do this, and a million other reasons why it shouldn’t happen again in four years.

F**k that.

No other sport has the opportunity to do something like this.  There’s no American Football in the Olympics because it’s simply that – American.  The Saints aren’t “World” champions.  They’re the best in a 30 team American league that was created by Americans and filled by Americans.  It’s no slight against football  (or the Saints) – I’m just saying, it’s a lot harder for a nation to dominate a sport (and get their players in the world’s best league) when like, 30 countries take the sport seriously, and in hockey’s case, the NHL is the holy grail for every kid who plays the game.

To then have the opportunity to weigh different countries contributions to that amazing league in a tournament, is unrivaled.  Baseball is doing it wrong – if their professional players went to the Summer Olympics, how much love would that event get?  Nothing is like the actual Olympics, despite baseballs effort with the… what’s it called, World Baseball Classic?  And baseball might need to send it’s pro’s soon - their sport is the one losing it’s grip on “interesting”, not hockey.

And what would basketball do if the Olympics were mid-season?  How much do the fans love the “dream team” talk?  It’s such a shock to Americans when their teams get shelled by Argentinian fundamentals, because there isn’t quite the partiy in basketball as their is in hockey (I know US basketball has found ways to lose before, but I still wouldn’t call chalk up their international struggles to “parity”) – we genuinely can’t guarantee Canada or anyone will be in the top three – just look at 2006, or as it’s known in Canada, “2002″ (since we refuse to acknowledge our 7th place finish four years ago ever happened). 

So wouldn’t basketball break to have the world’s best players partake, given the fan support for their current US gold medalists?  Doesn’t it void the magnitude of the Olympics if its a competition of the world’s best athletes *asterisk exceptallthosebetterplayers?

They probably would send their players, for fear of losing patriotic players, the same way Ovechkin says he’ll play in Russia in 2014 if the NHL won’t let it’s players participate.  It means that much to guys, I think moreso in hockey than in any other sport because the dressing rooms are so diverse.  It’s a chance to prove what they’ve been “joking” about for years to each other.

Hockey has the unique opportunity to showcase the game at it’s best, at it’s most Carcillo-less level of pure.  It can showcase it’s international diversity, and most important, it can demonstrate the passion and emotion this game brings out of people.  Football is the only other sport that gets people this fired up for the entire length of a game.  Basketball and baseball often seems like they’re being performed by talented big people who only try hard when they need to and for themselves, not for a team.

Olympic hockey, to simplify, is everything that’s good about our game.  Any negatives that come from stopping the NHL season for a couple weeks can be dealt with.  This means too much to pass up.

This Is What Being At The Gillies Is Like

When I ran into him again yesterday:

Snow covered dogs thaw out indoors.  Cash is one of THREE Newfs.  Love ‘em.

Brendan Burke

 

I sincerely don’t know how to express the sorrow I feel for the Burke’s loss today.  I cannot begin to imagine the pain they must be feeling.

Brendan died last night after losing control of his Jeep on snowy roads in Indiana.

He first contacted me a few months back after a piece I wrote for USA Today struck a chord with him, and in turn, his story touched so many of us.  I’m proud I got to be a part of spreading his positive message.  I’m happy we got to have some laughs on the phone, and mostly, I’m just lucky to have got to know him the little bit I did.

My condolences go out to the Burkes – it’s a sad day for them, and the hockey community as a whole.  He will be missed.

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UPDATE: To read the thoughts of how the death of Brendan affected just one of the many people who looked up to him so quickly, check out Mikey’s blog, a seventeen year old hockey player from Minnesota – he goes by hockeykidmn, and endures the struggles of being gay in a difficult sports culture.

The Flames: Quantity and Quality Moves?

 

Weeeeee, trades are fun! 

Burkes an idiot!  No, a genius!  The Flames are in chaos!  The Chames are in flaos!  LETS BLLLOOOGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

Let me start the day by saying thanks to Craig B for the donation – I tried to write you personally, but I got “NoSoupForYou’ed” by your email address.  It means a lot to me, and every little bit helps buy me time before having to go real job hunting.  So yeah, thanks again, dog.

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Also, before hockey trade talk – I had an Anquan Boldin sighting here in Phoenix a few days ago.  Just a casual dinner with his wife and kid out at an Irish Pub - he was wearing the preferred outfit of football/basketball players everywhere: huge basketball shorts, huge white t-shirt, hat with the 50/50 sticker on it and a diamond earring.  Super low key, but also super “g”.  What a win-win. 

….Jokes aside, that man has my respect – had his sinuses collapsed with a helmet to the face, then played two weeks later after not taking any pain medication.  That’s some tough-stuff right there.

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Hahaha…. um…. I don’t even know.  Maybe the caption for these pics should be “Today, on Ellen…”

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So the trades.  The Flames just overturned about 40% of their forwards and 30% of their total team, going from:

 Oli Jokinen
Brandon Prust
Dion Phaneuf
Fredrik Sjostrom

TO

Matt Stajan
Nicklas Hagman
Jamal Myers
Alex Kotalik
Chris Higgins
Ian White

Mmmm, tastes like quantity over quality…. but really, they might be onto something.  During my assessment of the Western Conference, I discussed how a few teams are overachieving – which is, by being quick, young and deep with good goaltending (Buffalo, Phoenix, Colorado).  I usually push for stars over a bunch of “pretty good” players, but I think in picking up Stajan/Hagman/Kotalik/Higgins, they got players that have potential to be above “pretty good” status, especially together.  Not stars, but guys that, in the right situation, could be very valuable.

I’m a little worried for my boy Eric Nystom.  Not good when your team picks up a Costco-sized pack of forwards and your a guy who spends a fair chunk of time on the shelf.

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Dear major hockey networks: please stop showing Cammalerri’s buckling leg.  The boards won.  We KNOW.  Ugh.

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Kurt Dusterberg has written a book called Journeymen: Bittersweet Tales of Short Major League Sports Careers, and sent me a copy to review.  I have not yet done so (though it looks like it’s got some really neat stories to tell), because I’m a busy dude, but if the premise interests you, you can buy a copy here.  Six of the 24 stories are hockey guys: Dallas Eakins, Scott Gruhl, Darren Jensen, Fred Knipsheer, Peter LeBoutilllier, and David Littman.  I’ll tell you more once I get to it!

Also, the Moshansky boys sent me “A to Z Guide To Hockey Terms” for review.  This great little book strikes me as something they should sell in the US, in the southern markets.  Actually, the teams that live in those markets should buy them in bulk and have a night where everybody gets a copy.  It’s a pretty handy compilation of the most common (and some not-so-common) terms, nicknames, penalties, etc. Great to help a new fan understand and enjoy the game all the more.

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Hey look: someone finally invented a formula PROVING Crosby is more valuable than Ovechkin.  I mean, right?  There doesn’t seem to be any flaws in a formula that finds an assist half as valuable as a goal (just ask the Sedins).  Also (as the creator points out), we can finally prove that Mike Fisher is having a better year than Joe Thornton.  Good-ness.

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Lets have your prediction:  Do the Flames make the playoffs?

Canadian Shake-ups, NHL Observations

 

Whether you love or hate Brian Burke, you have to, at the very least, admire how seriously he takes winning.  The man wants to win.  Like, right now.

There are simply too many players involved in the Toronto/Calgary deals to congratulate a winner.  But Burke knows one thing – players that are good-but-not-great are easy to come by.  You need the difference-makers to win, and Phaneuf is definitely one of those.

Toronto had nothing to build around when Burke got there, and the guy seems to be aware that nobody has ever won anything “by commitee” (the current codeword for “trying to win without talent”).  The Penguins win around Crosby/Malkin, the Red Wings win around Datsyuk/Zetterberg, so Burke is building around guys like Kessel/Phaneuf/Komisarek.  Not quite on the same level, but better than the cores of a few other teams (Havlat/….Kobasew?).

At least Toronto fans will have a few A- players (okay, B+) to cheer for while finishing out the year — for them, it’s been far too many winter months of cheering for a team of C+ guys without a Mats Sundin, Doug Gilmour or Wendell Clark.  (By the way, how insufferable will Toronto fans be if Burke manages to transform them into good…. which I suspect he will.  It’ll be like mixing crappy Flames fans with obnoxious Yankee fans.  Plus, about 55,000 people already have one foot on a bandwagon that would immediately collapse under the weight all the new “diehards”.)

By the way, worth mentioning – I think Matt Stajan is a really talented guy.  The Flames did well by themselves in picking up a quality depth scorer.  In fact, I think both teams made a smart move.

*****

I think DiPietro looks too bad on too many plays, too often right now.  I know he’s got rust to shake off; the guy hasn’t played goal in forever, but it looks worse than that.

I’m just really nervous about that big contract.  His numbers are fine, that’s not what stresses me.  I’m saying he just isn’t technically sound these days.  He doesn’t look balanced, his angles are suspect, he isn’t getting his pads flat post-to-post in the butterfly, and just doesn’t look like the old Ricky. 

Here’s to hopin’.

*****

Is Matt Duchene gonna be last years Steven Stamkos?  Just kill it the second half of the year and be a legit NHL stud by next year?  I say yes.

*****

If you’re the GM for Washington, don’t you go Brian Burke trying get a goalie for your team?  You can’t expect your guys to put up football numbers every night in playoffs, and those stupid, weak goals are just so disheartening.

Of all the stacked teams, San Jose really has the best total package right now (even though I like Chicago and Washington’s forwards better.  San Jose might have the best line in the NHL, but aren’t the best one through 12).  Nabokov is legit.

Happy February – it’s Superbowl week!  Your reward is an insider report on how TV news reports get made.

 

Western Conference Playoff Spots

 

The battle for playoff spots in the West is always a little more intriguing when some unexpected teams blow up and have good seasons, and this is one of those years.  Phoenix, Nashville and LA are all better than I expected, and I think better than the rest of the West had hoped.

So without really any ado, here’s how I see the bubble teams finishing up:

4th, Vancouver Canucks, 52 games played, 66 points

The only reason the Canucks get a blurb in the “bubble teams” section at all is their upcoming road trip.  They set an NHL record by being gone for something like six weeks, and playing 14 straight road games (Olympic preparation in Vancouver).  They’re 22-7-1 at home, but below .500 at 10-11-1 on the road this year.  If they survive the trip at .500, they’ll be in great shape.

{Only Washington, Pittsburgh and San Jose have scored more goals than the Canucks this year, and only New Jersey, Buffalo and Chicago have given up less.  Not bad, VanCity.  Not bad.}

5th, Phoenix Coyotes, 52 games played, 63 points

The ‘Yotes have played the majority of their games to date at home in the friendly confines of Jobing.com Arena (29), where they’re a dominant 19-8-2.  On the road, the Coyotes are an even 10-10-3 (23 games), sort of how your record is supposed to look.  With a third of the season left to play, they’re in position to push for a quality playoff spot.

Have you noticed a trend in the teams that are “overachieving”?  The Coyotes, Sabres, and Avalanche all have similar team builds, to some extent.  They’re fast over big, mostly young over mostly old, they’ve got great goaltending and most importantly, their top six forwards are almost all interchangeable as ”first line” guys.  Instead of the NBA method – pay one player to be your star and build around him – they all seem to be deeper teams without “that guy” to watch out for (the top two scorers from the teams I just listed are Tim Connolly and Paul Stastny, both below a point a game at 48 points in 51 games).

The Coyotes are going to make playoffs this year, but to have any hope of moving beyond a quick round one exit, they need to finish in 5th or 6th – 7th or 8th (versus San Jose or Chicago) would be hopeless.

6th, Los Angeles Kings, 51 games played, 61 points

The Kings seem fragile, don’t they?  Points are always easier to come by before Christmas, just like wins.  When Anze Kopitar has Ryan Smyth to help him out, he’s useful, but his production has seriously slowed down.  He just doesn’t seem like a guy who can get it done when his opponents key on him, they way the real elite stars can.  That says to me he’s not ready to be “the guy” on a team that needs one.  They’re good enough to win even with him struggling, so they’ll hang on to playoffs, but you certainly get the impression they aren’t headed the right direction.

7th, Nashville Predators, 51 games played, 61 points

I almost included the Preds in the group of “overachieving teams with the same build” from the Coyotes paragraph, but in the end, I didn’t think their Dan Ellis or Pekka Rinne deserved to be in the same class as Bryzgalov, Miller and Anderson.  Nashville could be the best team to miss playoffs this year… and I see it happening.

8th, Detroit Red Wings, 51 games played, 58 points

The depressing part for the teams on the wrong side of the playoff cutoff line looking in right now is, you’re not trying to catch Detroit’s 58 points, you’re looking at Nashvilles 61.  Detroit has played with half a team all year.  They’re the best coached team in the league, with some of the best names in the entire NHL in their dressing room (even with all they lost from last year).  The Canucks and Avalanche can start stressing now about which one of them is going to get unfortunately stuck in a (4) vs. (5) battle with Detroit.

9th, Calgary Flames, 52 games played, 58 points

What the hell happened to the Flames?  I feel like I fell asleep for an hour and they dropped a half-dozen spots.  Hmm.  1-8-1 in their last ten, with six straight losses.  By all logic, the Flames should be okay:  great goaltender, maybe the best defensive trio in the league, and a couple of guys up front who can score.  For me, the major difference between their offensive firepower and the teams “overacheiving” this year, is that their goal scorers aren’t young and energetic.  They don’t have that legs churning, relentless effort type threat right now – they’re scary in the “HolyCrapDon’tLetHimShootFromThereAWww.  They scored.” type of way.

10th, Anaheim Ducks, 52 games played, 55 points

This is the difference between the Eastern and Western conference.  The 10th and 11th place teams in the West are still really good (so are the Isles, but um, I just…. crap).  The problem is, they can’t all make playoffs, and Anaheim didn’t get off to a great start.  I don’t think they’re good enough to have a huge second half and make up for it.

11th, Dallas Stars, 52 games played, 55 points

I was waiting for them to end up in this spot in the conference, and here they are.  Dallas is a good team, but when teams like Phoenix and LA are good too, it toughens up their usually soft division.

12th, Minnesota Wild, 52 games played, 54 points

I don’t know a lot about Minnesota this year, and that’s not a good sign.  I do know when you’ve pinned a chunk of your offensive hopes on Chuck Kobasew and Andrew Ebbett, you’re in a whole heap of trouble (both are good enough players, but very shutdownable.  Yep, I can make up words on my blog.)  I guess their go-to guy is Havlat, I’m just not sure what else they’ve got.  I’m sure my oddly heavy Wild readership can fill me in on them, but from what I can tell, they don’t have a hockey teams chance in Phoenix snowballs chance in an oven.

13th, St. Louis Blues, 52 games played, 54 points

I’m sticking to my guns on the Blues, especially with the addition of Davis Payne.  They’ve got good top six forwards, good goaltending, and hopefully enough D to get into contention during the last few weeks.  I still think they’ll make a push.

 

Three Blurbs, Plus A Look At Canadian Olympic Rosters Part II & III

 

I thought I’d chuck out some vague, teaser-style sentences about what’s been taking up some of my time lately:

I’m working on a TV show with a couple producers – guys that’ve made more good movies than I’ve even seen.  Of course, if it doesn’t get bought, I (and they) make no money.  So, it’s a gamble, but it’s a fun gamble.  Like my pre-NFL season bet on the Jets to win the Superbowl.  REALLY, MGM, ONLY 22-1 ODDS FOR THIS SHIT?  Ridiculous.

(Much) More info to come in the future.

*****

So, I was made aware via Twitter (thanks to follower @mdamore4), of the following comment on Chris Botta’s highly read Islander blog “Islanders Point Blank”, written by the cleverly-named “orgaNYIzation”:

Cant wait for Gillie’s daughter and Bourne’s son to bear a son (and may he be a masculine son). If that kid get’s Clark’s size and toughness and Bobby’s speed and stickhandling ability..look out. Can we use a #6 this June and draft the future Bourne?

Yes.

I’m not sure if the bulk of my new followers are aware, but early (early) on in my writing days, I made this proposal to Islanders owner Charles Wang.  I’m baffled I didn’t receive some response (like “Haha, beat it kid”?), but the offer still stands…. Help pay for what can be a well-publicized, orange and blue wedding, and we’ll promise the Islanders the rights to our first born male.  Or female, if the girl gets all Hayley-Wickenheiser-times-two up in this biatch.

*****

 Next on my list is a hilarious website courtesy a couple of my high school buddies called “How Many Beers?”  It’s a pretty simple concept – a picture is shown, and commentors answer the age-old dudes-on-a-couch question…. “How many beers?”  If you don’t get what HMB refers to, don’t go to the website.  If you do, you’re liable to get a few laughs. 

I was the item for discussion yesterday under the heading “Something for the ladies…” – Again, and less subtley, it’s not a PG site, so those of you who read my site for kitten pics, maybe stay away.  Or go here.  The rest of you,  Check it out.

*****

I played hockey with a guy named Josh Ciocco – He’s an American guy from New Jersey, who captained the University of New Hampshire hockey team, and is now some sort of sports agent.  He wrote me with what I thought was a really good point:

Occasionally you’ll hear someone say “other countries are catching up to Canada in hockey”, or something of that ilk – his point (one a few other people have made), is that simply, no, not quite.  Whether the top Russians or top Americans go on to beat our top Canadians at the Olympics or not, how would a second Russian team look?  Or American?  It falls off pretty steep after the top tier.

Canada is so deep, he went ahead and made the list of what our second team would look like, and it’d be a medal contender for sure.  The fun part, is that he made the third team too (by the way, the point is to demonstrate depth, not argue about who would be on which roster).

Josh:

“For whatever reason, I like Canada’s team, but I dont love it. I actually really like the US simply because of Miller. Canada does have the best roster though, and it got me thinking, Canada would also have the second best roster. I mean seriously….”

TEAM NUMBER TWO

Jeff Carter
Marc Savard
Stephen Weiss
Vincent Lecaivilier
Martin St. Louis
Steve Stamkos
Brad Richards
Dustin Penner
Mike Cammellari
Wojtek Wolski
Jordan Staal
Ryan Smyth
Shane Doan

Jay Bowmeester
Dion Phaneuf
Mike Green
Brian Campbell
Ed Jovanovski

Marc Staal
Brayden Coburn

Steve Mason
Cam Ward
Marty Turco

“And because im bored and in class… If this was any other country, people would say they would be in medal contention – I present Canada’s third team.. (a little light in the pipes)”

Travis Zajac
John Tavares
Matt Duchense
Nathan Horton
Alex Burrows

Rene Bourque
Derek Roy
Andy Macdonald
Patrick Sharp
Matt Stajan
Simon Gagne
Daniel Brierre

Bryan McCabe
Michael Delzotto
Derek Morris
Kyle Quincey
Dennis Wideman
Dan Hamhuis
Rob Blake

Carey Price
Jose Theodore
Chris Osgood

Post your thoughts below!

Scott Gordon and Halle Berry (…No Connection)

 

So, I’m sure I’m not alone in periodically liking (or disliking) something for reasons that are unbeknownst to even myself.  When the Islanders hired Scott Gordon, a guy I’d never heard of, I liked it, but wasn’t sure why.  Let me try to explain it to myself:

Some owners hire coaches to give their fans the impression they hired a good coach.  You know, a guy with a name, something that won’t cause a huge negative ruckus.  This means you end up recycling coaches based on fame, not success, and before you know it, Mike Keenan is running your franchise.

I’d love to see more coaches with lower level success work their way up the ladder.  Mike Babcock didn’t get the Red Wings job based on his days as a player, he got it cause he won with every damn team he coached.  I think the game today is well-suited for a young coach who understands the more free-wheeling NHL (hint: defense-first is still your focus), and I wouldn’t be surprised to see the hiring trend in this direction continue (again, St. Louis hiring Davis Payne was exceptional – he’s doesn’t have Babcock’s NHL success yet, but I believe he’s got the same ability).

So good for teams that hire Davis Paynes and Scott Gordons – if Tampa Bay would do the same, they’d find out real fast what sort of team they’re actually dealing with.

Islanders are in a playoff spot in the middle of January, Rick DiPietro just got a shutout, and a 19 year old is leading the team in scoring.  And the Red Wings are currently in 9th in the West.  AND THE COYOTES ARE TIED FOR HOME ICE ADVANTAGE AT FOURTH.  I’m dizzy.  I need to sit down.

*****

I doubt many of you watch much ECHL hockey.  So far this year, I’ve watched zero minutes and no seconds, so I know where you’re coming from.

Well, the Victoria Salmon Kings (real name) scored a goal so ridiculous it ran on ESPN SportCenter yesterday.  Yeah, it’s that good.

The goal made me think two things – one, that at that level, there are a few kids that are going to be legit NHL studs mixed in with a few who’re going to be legit rec league duds (though not many, you’d be surprised at the quality).  What that means is, occasionally, someone gets burned so bad they should be forced to take their gear off and quit.  If that were the case, the Islanders Andrew Macdonald would’ve put entire teams into retirement during his months in Utah.

Secondly, it made me shudder at the sound of their goal song.  I was twice on teams that eliminated Victoria from playoffs, but when you’re on the wrong end of a game there, and that crowd gets fired up, it’s real easy to post a plus/minus that looks like Tiger got hot at The Masters. 

Oh, minus five, good hustle Bourne.

*****

Really, Dwayne Johnson… “The Tooth Fairy”?  I guess we can finally start calling him “The Rock Bottom”.

*****

I watched the Golden (Halle Berry’s) Globes on Sunday night, and thought it might be worth mentioning that I, like pretty much everyone else, love me some Ricky Gervais.  That guy is money.  Also, Halle Berry continues to defy human aging laws.  ———->

*****

Puck Daddy wrote an interesting bit on Mike Richards battle with the media.  The guy is the perfect captain for that team o’ douches. 

Here’s what sucks about how fun it is hating them: if they can get some GD goaltending (I feel like I’ve written that before), wouldn’t you not want your highly rated team to play them in the first round of playoffs?  If I’m Buffalo or New Jersey, I’m praying the Isles or Panthers sneak in.  I’d be interested to see the betting lines on them come playoffs, they might make for a sneaky round one money-maker.

*****

That’s all for today!  Sorry no Monday post – I was super busy watching FIVE STRAIGHT HOURS of Dexter with Bri. 

Burrowing With An Auger. Plus Ovy and Conan.

 

As we discussed in the comments section of yesterday’s blog, Alex Burrows had a chat with referee Stephane Auger before their game vs. Nashville on Monday night.  Supposedly, that chat involved Auger telling Burrows that he intended to even the score with Burrows who had embellished a hit in an earlier Auger-reffed contest.  You all know the story by now.

Refs and players talk with regularity.  It’s probably the least-seen relationship that affects the outcome of games.  There’s only so many refs, and over the course of 82 games and multiple years, you talk with, yell at, and generally get to know each ref and their tendency’s.

Some let you play, some call it tight, but in general, you know which is which in advance.  At the very least, someone will, and they’ll tell the rest of the team.

I frequently talked with refs because I was a perennial Lady Byng style player, and thus, had a good relationship with them (one college year I had SIX PIMS).  I have a hunch Burrows chats with refs are, in general, less genial.

For an abrasive player, you have to think it’s only a matter of time until you run into an abrasive ref.  And in turn, only a matter of time before you get red flagged, targeted, and penalized more.  Thats human nature.

We don’t know what happened – it wouldn’t shock me to hear that Burrows pulled it completely out of nowhere because he hates the ref.  He might be like Milhouse when he wants Bart to go home, so he yells “MOOOMMMM, BART’S SMOKING!”.  Whatever – it’s possible, but who knows what the real story is.

All I know is, I’m okay with the human element side of this story (wanting to stick it to someone who stuck it to you).  I’m okay with the way Burrows plays, but because of that, it’s only natural that a ref would be quick to give him an extra look.  What I’m not okay with, is calling something that isn’t there for revenge.  Plus, telling him in advance reminds me of a Bond villain explaining his plan to a captured Bond, when I’m screaming at the screen JUST SHOOT HIM.  IF YOU JUST FUCKING SHOOT HIM HE’LL DIE!

But there’s my point.  By playing the role of human sandpaper, you’re going to attract the refs attention more than anyone else.  Your penalties will increase exponentially.  That’s organic.  The moment any ref consciously acknowledges their need for a vendetta, the game’s aren’t being decided organically.  Auger is clearly at fault here, and needs to be penalized for even getting caught up in crap like this.  A ref is supposed to be above it all, supposed to govern fairly.  He didn’t.

Talk amongst yourselves.

*****

 Yesterday, Alex Ovechkin agreed to fight Steve Downie, but Matt Bradley swoops in.  It was the best thing I’ve seen in the NHL this year:

 

So many bad things can happen in a fight – if it goes well, you can break your hand, if it goes poorly, you can break you face.  You can land melon-first on the ice and get concussed.  There’s very few positive end results.

By Ovechkin squaring up to fight, it legitimizes his status as a guy not just running around and blowing guys up, but as someone who’ll actually answer the bell.

Better still, is that Bradley knows the last thing their team wants is for him to be legitimate in any category other than scoring goals.  And really, better Bradley be suspended than Ovechkin be hurt.  Ooooo, so old-school.

*****

 I love Conan O’Brien.  Admittedly, I’ve gotten away from watching his show since I’ve moved to Phoenix, because I go to bed before the sun sets half the time, but I still love when I can catch it.

It really does seem like Conan didn’t get a fair shake (seven months?) – if you didn’t hear, NBC is putting Leno back at 11:30 and wants to bump Conan to a later time again.  Conan isn’t having it, and has handled the situation like a pro.  I’m on Team Conan – check out his statement, and I’m sure you’ll join too.

*****

 

 What’s your drug of choice?  I hope it’s not acid, cause the following LT video would EFF. YOU. UP.

*****

After watching the Islanders/Red Wings game last night, I think I might have taken my first step onto the Josh Bailey bandwagon.  I was impressed.

*****

Lane Kiffin left Tennessee for USC, and UT fans reacted with class.  Sorry, did I say class?  I meant they rioted.

 *****

Also, *yelling* “What was I supposed to say honey?” —- I’m overjoyed with the return of my lovely fiance.

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