Canadian Lines, I Want To Punch Rick ReillyShareThis
It’s easy to be a hater when someone else is making the player decisions, and for Canadians, it’s been a lot of fun telling everyone the picks we would’ve made.
I myself would like to see the roster be a little different (as I tweeted yesterday), but, at some point, the roster is set. The team is what it’s going to be, so it’s time to love all our players like they’re our children. Get the puck to Niedermeyer, right?!
So here’s the lines our “children” will be attacking in (I’m not sure what the plan is on D yet, but apparently these are the forward lines):
Nash – Crosby – Bergeron
Heatley – Thornton – Marleau
Perry – Staal – Getzlaf
Toews – Iginla – Richards/Morrow
Keith – Seabrook
Boyle - Weber
Doughty - Pronger
(Yes, those goalies are in order of my preference, not Babcock’s.)
We’re rolling into Vancouver with a number of our best players hot, and bringing no excuses. Gold or bust baby. Gold or bust.
How do you like the lines?
So, I couldn’t be much more mad at Rick Reilly.
As a kid-slash-sports-fan growing up, there was nothing better than the back page of Sports Illustrated. I would’ve happily bought a subsciption to SI just to read the back page and throw the rest of the magazine out, had I not been penniless and ten years old. Not that the rest of the magazine wasn’t good, it was just that “Life of Reilly” was all that mattered. He was the best.
As many people would agree (anyone who’s followed the progression of his writing, really), his work of late has been…. um, lacking. And don’t get me wrong - I hate when people claim to dislike the new work of people simply because it’s not exactly like the old stuff they’re familiar with. (You know, people who only like the old Star Wars movies, or a bands first CD (they’re new stuff sucks, dude), or whatever, you get my point - it’s like they think it really highlights how they’ve been there all along, and know what works better than the artist/author/whatever.)
But the fact of the matter is, at this point, Reilly’s recent work really is dog meat.
So when a friend sent me his most recent column on being in Vancouver for the games, I wasn’t suprised when it sucked worse than Zdeno Chara would at limbo (my attempt at a Reilly joke). The problem was, it wasn’t just bad this time, it was kind of patronizing, and with just that right amount of condescension that occasionally makes Canadians wanna plow Americans in the face for their tone. Like somehow the people in Vancouver are idiots because they’ve been concerned about him enjoying his stay. Don’t worry Rick, when you left, I’m sure someone said (as you would write it) ”boy eh, I’d really like to plow that chap in the face, eh?” (I’m okay with the accent jokes – we have a way of speaking, like people from Mass., Texas, New York, Arkansas, or anywhere else.)
But the follow-up piece today – here - was like the guy was standing in front of Royal Guards in England and trying to get them to flinch, knowing they won’t. Like because we’re polite, we’ll just stand there, drink our double-doubles (*homer-voice* mmm double-double…. damnit it’s a good coffee, whatever!) and take the abuse?
I’ve never called beer “brew” in my life. Not one person in the 20 years I lived in Canada called the RCMP the “Armsee” or whatever-the-f**k-it-was you claimed we call them. We usually go with “police” or “cops”. “Pretend you plug in your engine block to keep it from freezing too, it makes them feel better” – didn’t you just saying it was raining, a few sentences earlier? In FEBRUARY? How cold could it possibly be there?
I get writing a light-hearted, funny article. I’m not really that offended. I’m just wondering – to whom did Rick Reilly go to dig up these nuggets of imaginary wisdom? He’s sunk to pandering to the American stereotype of Canadians to entertain his readers, the same way everyone gets to feel in on the inside joke if I say the Irish like to drink (and how!).
Sure – there’s some stuff in there that was right - I’m not saying the whole thing was a wash, but a general rule, I’ve learned, is that the whole column is supposed to be somewhat accurate. Maybe he’s right about the inferiority complex (see: everything I’ve just written), but it’s hard to blame us there. We’re just doon’ our best, eh?
The first column started out trying to be nice and ended up offensive, the second column is just a slap in the face. So beat it, Rick. Jump in your Hummer, supersize your Big Mac meal and go hunt some endagered species.
What, don’t all Americans do that?
Note: I live in the States, love the US, and would stick up for this country the same way. We are the world. We are the children.
UPDATE: As the first commenter MikeB mentions, I apparently wasn’t the first person to take a cut at Reilly. Clearly, I didn’t get the best cut in, either. In fact, I was pretty much swinging at an unconscious fighter by the time Kurtenblogger was done with Reilly. Ah well. Turns out a lot of us agree