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Broken Noses ‘N’ Newfoundlands



Is it Friday again, already?  Man, quick week.

{Anyone know how to fix a stuck BlackBerry rollball?  I’m about to throw this thing through my TV.}

Sooo, David Booth got thumpersized again, but this time on an actual hockey hit, delivered by a shoulder that was in front of him the whole time.  I took the almost the exact same hit against Binghamton a couple years back, and feel the guys probably-broken-nosed-pain.  Equally painful, is the feeling of “no one to blame but myself.”

Oh, pre-broken noses are so pretty.

That hit was the exact hit I was pushing to keep in hockey.  Guy buries his head and waterbugs it in transition, defenseman sees the guy coming for about a decade, and flattens him with a shoulder.  Because the head is down, the head gets hit, and “facial lacerations” ensue.

I feel really bad for David Booth.  The guy had such a tough injury early in the season, but came back like a house on fire – I watched parts of his first game back after getting clipped by Richards, and he was taking the puck to the net with no fear.  I only hope he’s as confident coming back after this second one (Yahoo! reports he will be going with the team to Ottawa for tonights game).  Actually, I need him to be that confident, as he’s on my fantasy team, and it’s playoff time.

On the broken nose front (I have no idea if his nose is broken, but it sure looked like it), my favourite tale of nose woe:

My Dad’s career NHL totals should include a “broken noses” column (his own), and he’d crack the Hall, I’m sure of it.  It’s something like eight.  I’m still trailing by about five.  Either way, other than losing your teeth (which we’ve both done), few things are as unpleasant as breaking your nose.  The scariest reason?  Sometimes they have to re-break it to set it.  Like, literally with a mini-hammer – this never happened to me, but according to Dad, he’s been on the wrong end of that hammer a few times.

Lookin' forward to next years Isles uni's

Anyways, after a broken nose towards the end of his career, he had to have a little touch-up surgery on it.  They packed his nose full of gauze, both sides, and sent him home for a few days to let it heal.

When it was time to take the gauze out, Dad needed someone to drive him home after, as it’s apparently not the most fun procedure that involves some pain killers.  Naturally, Dad asked his next-door neighbor, Clark Gillies, to drive him.  Clark obliged, waited in the waiting room, and Dad went in to get the gauze removed.

The doctor pulls out an ungodly amount of gauze with Dad on the table, and steps out to grab something, saying “just don’t get up for a few minutes”.  Dad doesn’t listen.

Whatever the reason for the light-headedness, I don’t remember – but he stood up, and passed out.  And fell on his face.  And broke his nose.

90 minutes later, Dad walks out of the doctors office, looking exactly the same as when he went in, packed full of gauze.  Clark: “Bourny.  What the hell happened?!?”



Feel like having a few chuckles?  Check out the annual Name of Year bracket, including only actual names - these gems include Nohjay Nimpson, Dick Smallberries Jr. (yes, jr.) and X’Zavier Bloodsaw.  Enjoy.


Regarding Gary Bettman:  Why is he so defensive in interviews?  It’s always SO tense, cause the guy acts like every topic is off-limits.  It’s not like the host is calling your just-dead friend an idiot, Gary, we just want to know about the new rule.  Don’t act so indignant.


Happy weekend friends.  I’ll leave you with happy time, as the boys at PTI say.  Except in my case, it means pictures of Bri’s dogs and our cat.  Enjoy!



33 Responses to “Broken Noses ‘N’ Newfoundlands”
  1. mark says:

    I’ve had stuck blackberry balls before. You pop the outer silver ring off with a small screwdriver, then the ball basically falls out. then take a qtip with some alcohol and use it to clean the contacts inside the BB and also clean the ball itself. Let dry acouple of minutes then re-assemble in reverse order.

    I had to do this every few months when I had my blackberry. It gets all gummed up from skin oils and such.

  2. mark says:

    and I found directions with some pictuers with more details.

  3. jtbourne says:

    Thanks a million mark, I’m on it.

  4. JD says:

    Hey JB, thought of you this morning. TSN did a piece on Chelios about being the oldest guy in the league, mentoring Bagosian, etc. Anyway, the interview him and Chelly goes “the biggest thing for me is, when I’m on the ice, is not so much to help the team, but to not hurt the team.” Uhhh, right, because that’s why guys dedicate their lives to the game. To get to the highest level and not “hurt” the team they are playing for. I bet the D-men in Chicago (Wolves) would just start banging their heads off the walls if they read that.

  5. jtbourne says:

    I have no problem with Chelios doing what he’s doing (contrary to the thoughts of the dude who commented that my fiancee would run off with him if given the chance :) ), if he was doing it well. But anytime you reach the point where you say those words and aren’t embarrassed by it, it’s a major WTF moment.

    Interviews you won’t hear:

    “Duncan Keith, Duncan Keith – you just won the Stanley Cup and won the Conn Smythe in the process – how did you do it?”

    “Well, when I got the puck, I made sure to give it to someone else asap, as to not f**k up and be the guy to blame. Also, I never kept a puck in at the blue because pinching is scary. Honestly, I’m just happy the game is over with my reputation intact.”

  6. J says:

    I work with a Richard Cockler.

    And for some reason he goes by Dick……..

  7. RewskiUVA says:


    Seen the clip from last night of Clarkson and Avery jawing before the game and Avery refusing to fight at the puck drop? weak sauce.

  8. jtbourne says:

    J – No wayyyy, no you don’t. That’s the rare, the elusive “horribly named man who’s also so socially oblivious he chooses to make his own life worse.”

    And Rewski: Yep, Avery is like…. melted butter he’s so weak sauce. Such a phony.

  9. GBCK says:

    $20 says “on it” in regards to the bb ball disassembly, cleaning and reassembly not only hasn’t happened but will not for a minimum of till Sunday night post 8pm

  10. Alan says:

    Have to agree about Bettman appearing indignant but there’s also an element of having just stepped in foul smelling do-do,which in many cases resemble self created fiascoes!

  11. Will77 says:

    Wow, thats quite the story there about your Dad. Damn us hockey players and our “ah F-it I’ll be fine…. shit…” attitude. I’ve never gotten a broken nose from hockey *knock on wood*, but I have gotten my two front teeth shattered when trying to dangle around Steve Webb once. Where was my mouth guard you ask? Tucked in the top of my gloves. Fail.

    The pain of the action was no where near the pain of the ensueing dental work though.

    Btw your cat is just stupid cute. Did you see monday How I Met Your Mother where its impossible for Barney to take a bad picture? Thats your cat. Also, looking forward to the pics of your cat on top of one of the Newf’s

  12. Mike P. says:

    I think Rod BrindAmour should get the award for “how many times has that nose been broken.

  13. jtbourne says:

    Mike Ricci? Tim Hunter?

  14. Hooks Orpik says:

    The story about your old man is hilarious in a “time has past so we can laugh about it now” type of way. My pop’s got a couple of those too, my favorite being when he (a career fireman) was playing with fireworks on a 4th of July and one exploded after falling into his tank top. Somehow he avoided injury, other than the pride.

    Also on the topic of great names: I met a 50 year old man named Bart Simpson through work earlier this week. I couldn’t stop laughing, he found it a lot less amusing.

  15. jtbourne says:

    Story Edit – My Mom just read the blog and clarified it was her at the doctor with him. Apparently the Clark thing happened at home. My bad!

  16. Mike P. says:

    Mike Ricci’s mullet overrides anything else.

  17. Jbrown says:

    That story is fantastic.

  18. ms.conduct says:

    Work has fried my brain this week and all I’m left with at the end of the post is:


  19. Ally says:

    Actual names of people that I have heard about from family memebers or that I have encountered:
    Kitty Porn
    Shithead – pronounced “Shi-th-aid”
    Chip Monk
    Mrs. Ubernosky

    The “Shithead” is by FAR my favortite!

  20. Ally says:

    *favorite ooops

  21. Char says:

    I went to school with a girl whose last name was Hoar. Poor girl.

  22. Deirdre says:

    I went to school with Muffy Shine – and the twins Biff and Brandy Blynn (which is less dirty, but so so sad)

    LOL to your dad (much to the amusement of my work mates). I can just imagine the look on the Dr’s face when he walked back in.

  23. Neil says:

    “melted butter he’s so weak sauce” lol

    Man, it killed me watching Booth get rocked. In a weird way, it was worse seeing it happen with a legal hit, I don’t know why but it just seems extra bad that it just happened that way. The guy is so young and so damn good, and he spends 1/3 of his year fighting a severe concussion…. brutal. I agree though, that hit needs to be legal. It’s the biggest reason I’m not huge on a “no-head-shots” rule.

    That story about your Dad is great, and holy crap your cat is cute.

  24. Blake says:

    In regards to Chelios, I think it’s admirable that he’s still playing and I am officially petitioning everyone to begin referring to him as Dirt…

    As in, as old as…

  25. Ron says:

    Great story about your dad. Yikes.

    Also, I love the name tourney. Back in college I created the NHLANHoF (National Hockey League All-Name Hall of Fame), an idea inspired by initial honoree Reijo Ruotsaleinen. Some friends and I voted on the next electees: Ilkka Sinisalo and Zarley Zalapski. As a design student, I made a logo, brochure and everything. I love the names that just seem to roll off the tongue – announcers must have a good time getting hockey names straight.

  26. Steve says:

    Tell me the Newfie in the snow doesn’t look exactly like a bear:)

  27. SDC says:

    There was a girl named Rhoda Dick that went to our college. True story.

  28. John says:

    @ Ron: Good picks, I’ve also always thought the Finnish guys had great names.

    But hey JT, how bout your new local boy Wojtek Wolski? I heard a rumor that the Rangers were gonna maybe try to get him earlier in season. Obviously didn’t happen, but I was already hearing the Garden go bezerk every time his name was blasted across the PA system.

    That “Cats as Phones” clip you posted a couple blogs ago is pretty damned funny. Easily as good, if not better than anything you’d see on SNL these days. Great find!

  29. Väiski says:

    One of the finnish goalie pioneers played four years in North-America (88-92) and there was an article asking “who stole the vowels from Jarmo Myllys” and how “he should go to Joe Nieuwendyk and borrow few”.

    Pyörälä, Ylönen, Hyvönen – they’re all good.

  30. Matt says:

    I went to college with a girl named, no lie, Floey Seaman.

  31. zyllyx says:

    OMFG… I’m going out TODAY and forming a band called “Spontaneous Gordon.”

  32. crushasaurus says:

    One of my friend’s middle name’s in Lancelot. That always gets laughs. On the broken nose point, I’ve broken mine 3 times so far, and I’m 18. One puck, one cricket ball and one baseball. I hate life and sport hates me.

  33. Travelchic59 says:

    Once worked with a woman named Tajma Hall. No joke. She never understood why people would do a double take when she introduced herself. A co-worker once tried to explain to her about the 8 wonders of the world, but she never got the connection.

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