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Fitzy of Boston
This guy is basically the reason I’m moving to Boston. Sure, he’s the stereotypical Mass-hole (I love that expression), but what’s not to love? The people in Boston love their sports. Adore. Obsess? …Yeah, they obsess over their sports. There’s something appealing about living in a place where playing the gentlemen is borderline offensive (“who’s this queen?”). It’s one of the last places you’re allowed to indulge every man-urge you want. It’s probably not the formula for a perfectly functioning society, but for a Canadian kid, the entertainment value is high. Just check out Fitzy’s webcast before last years Superbowl: *Disclaimer: May contain language not suitable for children, or people who gave birth to me. You can imagine how the follow-up webcasts went. I know it’s pretty low-brow, but come on… you laughed.
My favourite joke du jour is Jon Stewarts “Rod Blagojevich, seen here being digested head-first by some sort of hair shaped alien…” Blagojevich looks like the mama bird might come back any second to feed the starving chicks on his head. It looks like if he were to come in out of the cold, he would take off that thing on his head and have bad hair underneath. The only thing funnier than this mans hair is the legitimacy of his level of corruption. He’s like Bond-movie-evil-villain bad, complete with legitimate triple long laugh and slow mustache twirl. I keep waiting for the breaking news about him escaping to a secret lair and exposing the star-cannon he’s had aimed at Earth this whole time. And he’ll use it if we don’t comply with his requests (I can see Blagojevich decreeing “Henry Burris is to be an Illinois state Senator!” and Obama going “Is this guy still on that?”). I assume the blueprint for the plot has been written on his forehead this whole time.
Never has anyone made me laugh and like them so much while simultaneously embarrassing me so much as Boo Weekly during last years Ryder Cup. He’s like a parody of what people pretend hicks are. It’s like SNL or Mad TV tried to make a funny hick skit, but it flopped because the person over-acted the role (over-acting in SNL?… noooo). This is the guy who said “it’s been a windwhirl” while wiping his brow. How can you not like a guy with a bottom lip dip of Redman in while putting for national pride. Talk about an apt representation. If I were Lee Westwood (who was politely bothered by Boo’s attempts to fire up the crowd), I think I would have had to laugh. Boo didn’t even look athletic enough to make that awkward motion athletes make to pump up the crowd (And how about that motion? It’s getting pretty overused isn’t it? I just saw Tim Tebow do it after he was announcing he was coming back for another year. The fans are grateful and love you Tim, they’re showing their appreciation. Asking for “more effort” out of their thank-you sort seems needy). Maaayyybe he further pigeon-holed us into the pigeon-cave Bush dug with the Europeans. But come on. The guy rode his driver off the tee-box at an international event. Now that’s what being an American is about!