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Miss Me?

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Alas, dear friends, my week-long writing hiatus has come to a close. I’d love to say that I’m back at it with a renewed vigor – and I will be – but as of today, I’m still healing from self-inflicted damage over the past week in Kelowna.  My liver’s still in a walking boot and wearing gauze head-wrap.

I’m gonna leave commenting on the Fantasy Camp alone for today. I feel like the majority of my readers have been inundated with Twitter updates and blog posts that read more like one long advertisement than commentary, so lets get into something new.

{Okay, one quick highlight (which I tweeted): Dale Hawerchuk walks by my bro who’s shotgunning a beer from his wheelchair and deadpans “No wonder you can’t feel your feet” and carries on.  I died (after waiting for Jeff to laugh first).}

So then! 

What’s been goin’ on, what’s up, where ya been? Is it hockey season yet? Lets get a good chat going today – I’ll start it off with a few of my top thoughts from my TBAF.

*****

The Kovalcontract was rejected by the arbitrator.

This “common sense overruling a legal loophole” thing is rare in our society, and I gotta believe it’s something we need to be more supportive of.  I FUME when some obvious criminal gets off because his attorney threads the needle through some tight legal wording.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for innocent until proven guilty, and I understand due process, but I can’t support legal trials that end in ”innocent when guilty because a police officer improperly labelled one of the evidence bags” (or whatever the wink/shrug is that’s used by the defense attorney).

My point is, when it comes to pinning down shady behaviour like the Kovalchuk deal, I’m taking a page out of Justice Potter Stewart’s, who when trying to come up with with the legal description for hardcore porn said “I know it when I see it”.  Just because some sketchy things are tough to put firm parameters on doesn’t mean we can’t recognize them. 

The greatest comparison I heard for the Kovy rejection was the speeding one – we’re not pulling over everyone going seven above the speed limit, maybe not even ten, but at some point, we have to draw the line.

Had they let it pass, I bet Tavares was ready with a pen to finalize his 90-year, $180 million dollar deal, with $140 million in the first 20 years, for a $2 million dollar cap hit.  Nuh-uhhh, you can’t stop us, the CBA (technically) allows it! /thumbs nose

*****

Before Derek Boogaard signed with the NY Rangers for what everyone and their dog are calling an overpayment, the Oilers were interested in signing him.  I won’t say for how much, but when they lost out on him, they started shopping for another heavy.  The quote from someone in the Oilers organization during a discussion on “the next guy” was that “he wants Boogaard money”.   How LOLable is that?  There was “Gretzky money”, there’s been “Ovechkin money”, there might even be ”Luongo money” - I now present to you, “Boogaard money”.  Enjoy. 

{BTW, I imagine the Busta Rhymes dance for “Arab Money” to be the one Boogaard does during slow moments in his day.}

*****

Don’t you just fully need a case of the Financial Fuckits to enjoy a travel day?  I LOVE travelling, always have.  But really, if you’re watching your wallet while you travel, you KILL the trip.  I tried to do that yesterday, and had 1/8th the fun. 

If you’re okay with spending in an airport, there’s all the amenities: mall-quality chinese food (my fave), massages, great reading material, plenty of downtime, internet connections, smoothies, whatever.  So I think it’s official - if I’m getting ran from behind by security and prices anyway, I’m gonna start using whatever money I have as a helmet.  Hey Freshens, one Strawberry Sunrise please.

*****

You guys see Tim Tebow’s rookie haircut yesterday?  Friar Tuck-style?  Whoever thought of that – especially coming from an NFL dressing room - gets a +1 from me.  Even though he’ll have no idea what that means.

Gotta be honest, I like Tebow. Hope he does well.

 *****

How do girls feel about being included in a “you guys”, or being the sole members of a “you guys”? As in, Jeff had two lady-friends with him this past week, and I said “Okay, I’ll meet you guys in the lobby” to the two girls. I clarified, but I mean, c’mon – no ladies out there would ever be offended by this, would they? What’s the proper phrase-ology? It’s hard enough figuring out who wants to be “girls”, “ladies”, “women” and “ma’am”.  Do I have to guess everytime or is “guys” okay?

Just a hunch, but everyone likes “ladies”, right? “Okay, I’ll meet you ladies in the lobby”? Is that the solution? If it’s both genders do I have to say “Okay, I’ll meet you guys and gals in the lobby?” That’s a PAINFUL extra two words.

*****

Welcome back, friends of the blog. I’m back at it for the next week here – then a trip to NY, then we’re getting into the 2010-2011 season. Hope your summer is still goin strong!

Semenko - still a bit of an imposing figure...

I'm like Hossa - third time's the charm

Comments

25 Responses to “Miss Me?”
  1. Sherry says:

    “You guys,” “ladies,” “gals,” even “girls” (although kinda silly for someone my age) – all okay in my book. Just not “bitches”… :)

    Glad to have you back Justin (did keep tabs, a bit, on the Fantasy Camp stuff). Glad that Kovy deal got nixed – should provide something of interest to follow until we get back to hockey business next month.

  2. Fiona says:

    I’m good with being called all of the above. I’m even okay with being called “bitches” so long as it’s done in a playful way.

    However call me ma’am and I will punch you in the stomach.

  3. crushasaurus says:

    @Sherry, it’s “bitches” or nothing.

  4. iggy says:

    A bit off topic, but something I’ve been hearing about. When Eric Johnson signed his deal with the Blues, I heard alotta talk about how he got ripped off and his agent sucks. Maybe its cause I’m at the opposite end of the spectrum. I just finnished juniors and am about to start college, tryin to walk on, and I’ve worked 2 jobs since hs to pay my way through. As a 20 year old kid, whats the difference between $1.25 mil and the $2mil a year he coulda bargained for? I mean how much money does a kid my age really need before its just over satured? He doesn’t have a family, or investments or anything to think about. Why are people shocked when young kids take home town discounts. If I was already making a bajillion times more than any of my friends, I’d be willing to make $750,000 or whatever less a year, if it helped my team bring in better guys. I’d wanna be winning, and playing on the sickest team possible. Am I not seeing something, or are people just gettin a bit rediculous?

  5. JJ says:

    Y’all.

    Problem solved.

  6. KarenfromRochester says:

    hahaha! “financial fuckits”… I’m gonna have to remember that phrase as I ponder upcoming college costs for my soon-to-be senior in high school..or any other large financial outlay I will have in the near future! Thanks for the laugh, Justin.

    I don’t mind “guys” when it’s a mixed group. I agree with Sherry-just don’t use the “b word” and you should be all right!

    And I missed my lunchtime blog read, glad you’re back. Oh-and I’m glad that Kovy abomination got rejected. Finally, someone with a head on their shoulder and a set of brass ones made a common sense decision!

  7. jtbourne says:

    iggy – Sorry buddy, I feel your pain here, but nobody is being ridiculous here. There’s a line between holding out for $8.5 when you’re offered $7.75, but there’s a huge difference at the low end. I think he signed for $2.6 twice, $5.2 total. These guys make bank for a reason dude, and it’s not just talent – danger pay. You give up all these years of building a business or getting an education, leave the NHL at 36 and start from scratch like an 18 year old, only with a broken body and concussions. If his agent failed him, he should be fired, and fast. I think EJ shoulda held out for more than that for sure.

  8. iggy says:

    Yea, thats a good point. I feel like thats especially true as u get to mid-level/bubble NHLers. But I doubt EJ’s goin any where. He’s gonna be makin bank for a while. I just think there’s sumtin to be said for guys that are willing to make slightly less money in the name of helpin the club, or maybe not aggravating relations with the front office (a la bobby ryan who I’ve met a couple times and is a great guy). Not that I think they dont have that right, or should be expected to take a hit. I just think instead of blaming his agent, we should give the guy props.

  9. ms.conduct says:

    See, you yankees laugh at us for saying “y’all” but it solves your problem there, doesn’t it?

    Though I’m ashamed that y’all came to me before bitches did. Dammit! I’m off my game.

    I would think the friar tuck do would actually be pretty good when you’re sweating it up. You get the cooling properties of a bald head, but with a built-in sweat band!

  10. jtbourne says:

    Ms. C – good point on the hair. For the record, I’ve always loved ya’ll. In fact, I use it occasionally, with near-zero Texas influence (a month or two). I do the same for “eh” – it serves a nice purpose. ….that being “I’d like your input on that previous sentence, please.”

    Iggy – I agree, winning is undervalued for contract leverage – it makes you look better as a player, inflates your stats, and earns you more money down the road.

  11. iggy says:

    Fair enough. Wish I had the same connotation for winning. It’d sure make the gym taste a bit less sour.

  12. Trevor says:

    Few things….. you are forgetting the easiest fix for the “guys/gals” dilemna….folks. See you folks later is an easy fix and a fail safe option. I use it all the time.

    Secondly, that guy who used the speeding analogy must be a genious, haha.

    Thirdly, As a Blues fan, I love the EJ contract, I think we’ll be paying him huge in 2 years, but I like the “earn your big contract” idea. Same idea with the Perron 2 year deal.

  13. Blake says:

    Love the Tebow picture. I too hope he does well.

    Regarding the “Boogaard Money” phrase, I think that Sather may have had a case of the Financial Fuckits in that one…

  14. jtbourne says:

    Blake – Haha, I believe that’s something similar to what stand-up comedians refer to as a “call back”. Well played.

  15. Sherry says:

    Did pick up the use of “y’all” during my years in Texas (and kind of like the fun of “all y’all”), but am happy to say that even though I lived in The Burgh for close to 7 years, I never did qualify as a “yinzer”.

    Okay Crush – henceforth you shall be known as Crushabitch. :)

  16. ms.conduct says:

    Bitchasauraus? Hmm.

    Agree, Justin, “eh” has a very real purpose. My inner Canadian gets pretty annoyed when people mock it and use it wrong. I’m sensitive.

  17. Sherry says:

    Oooh, Bitchasauraus is even better!

  18. Kennedy says:

    I think the problem with hometown discounts is they usually only go one way. Do you think after taking the discount the team will self-invoke a home town unofficial no trade clause? I doubt it.

    A professional athlete has a very limited window of opportunity to earn $. They have to maximize it. It also screws over other players when they take the hometown discount as then it makes the guys that don’t look bad.

  19. Alix in SJ says:

    As a woman, I have never had a problem with “you guys”. And I would totally enjoy blog posts about your weekend at the fantasy camp–although I read the tweets, they simply cannot properly convey a story the way a blog post essay would.

    Think of it as more advertising for next year!

  20. Steve C. says:

    Justin who????…kidding.
    The real reason the NHL nixed the deal wasn’t the 17 years, it was the fact that someone wanted to pay Kovalchuk $103 million!

  21. MattyJ says:

    Kovy – From what I read, the arbitrator did not rule on the validity of the contract itself but on the right of the NHL to reject it. This has much deeper connotations for the NHL. Perhaps they wanted to reject Pronger’s contract but didn’t have the balls. Now they have the balls.

    Addressing people – Why use any word to address them at all? I know I’m a dude. My wife knows she’s a babe, we don’t need to be told. Just drop that word out and it works just as well (remember that ‘you’ is both singular and plural): “I’ll meet you in the lobby in 10 minutes.” “See you at the house after the game.”

    Money: “June 3, 1999: The Montreal Canadiens agreed to a contract extension with goaltender Jeff Hackett today, extending his current contract by an additional three years. The value of the contract was not specified, but Hackett’s agent, Rick Curren, termed it “Guy Hebert money.” ($4 million/year).” (credit: http://www.hockeygoalies.org/news/oldnews.html)

  22. Dave K says:

    I have a friend from California who calls all the ladies, “babe,” and all the fellas, “buddy.”

    “I’ll see you babes in the lobby.” “Hey buddy, ready to hit the beach.”

    He’s handsome, charming, and witty so he can get away with it. I want to kill him. If I called a random woman, “babe,” the two sounds would be my wife punching me in the head, followed by the woman punching me in the head.

  23. Miriam says:

    I agree, y’all is a good way to go. :-) And I could really care less about being included in the “you guys”. Considering I hang out with mostly guys, guess I had to get used to it.:-P Ladies is acceptable as well. As for bitches…I’ve never really heard a guy say that if he was amongst a group of women; I’ve only heard a woman say that to her group of girlfriends so…I suppose if you’re the only guy in the group and everyone knows you’re joking (or everyone is extremely drunk and is happy with anything you say), I say go for it. If you get punched, then you know you shouldn’t say that… :-P

  24. Deirdre says:

    Sad to point out, but you’re still getting your advice from a bunch of girls who read a hockey blog…as it was pointed out before, we may not be the norm :-P

    I’m also loving reading about HGFC…though I gotta say Brianna wins in quote world with her tweet about being without you for X days not being part of *her* fantasy. Awww! I’m glad you’re back, plus Tyson looked like he missed you, possibly because it’s easier to con you out of pizza.

  25. minnesotagirl71 says:

    I agree – no problem being included in “you guys.” Also agreed that women who read hockey blogs, may not be accurately represent the entire female population.

    Being from a northern state – I tend to use folks rather than y’all. And shouldn’t it be “all y’all” when referring to a group?

    Please – for the love of God – don’t “ma’am” me.

    David Justice called me “babe”…. I did not punch him in the head.

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