A Player Appearance Gone Wrong – Video Style

 

Hey team – Happy St. Patricks Day! 

My family name, a handful of generations ago, actually used to be O’Burne, til my however-many-great Grandpa moved across and chucked the “O” in the middle to avoid persecution.  Or so the story goes.  Either way, I claim to be fully Irish today (as does everyone else), partly because there isn’t a Ukranian celebration day where I can shamelessly drink beer.

So, something different for ya!  A video blog.  It’s been a long time.  (I shouldn’t-a left you.  Without a dope beat to step to.)

I was going to write about player appearances, so instead, I just told the story.  Hope you likes!

{By the way, if you’re looking for reading to do, my column for USA Today is up.  I weigh in on the GM’s freshly pressed blindside rule.  Recommend and comment ’til your heart’s content!}

A Brief Wander, Followed By A Serious Rant On Agitators

 

ohmigodTigerscomingbackatthemasters

Ahem.  Sorry.  I finger-puked on the keyboard.

Tiger Woods has confirmed the speculation.  He’s making his return to professional golf at Augusta.

You may have noticed by now that I kinda sorta enjoy that golf tournament.  When he wrapped his Escalade around… well, pretty much everything (animated graphic here), I became immediately panicked about the undisputed best weekend in sports.

But today, proper order has been restored to the world.

What’s that you say?  The Masters, NHL playoffs, NBA playoffs, college hockey playoffs, March Madness finals and the start of the baseball season?  Hmm.  Thank youuu, April. 

I’ll be live blogging the weekend on one of those “Cover It Live” things, and anybody who wants to watch “with” me and entertain each other (that guy spends more time in the sand than David Hasselhoff), I welcome your company.

*****

I’ve become more fluent in the language of internettia since I started working on the damn thing for a living.  After watching a TIME video on tech trends, I decided it was time I add all the “share” buttons to the top of this blog.

Basically, they were explaining to simpletons like me how the reader is becoming the distributor.  Good writing, entertaining stories and all things viral are passed about by people like you recommending stuff through Digg, Twitter, and any of the million other options you have for sharing.

So, on those days I write something of significance (not that OMG TIGER WOODS IS COMING BACK isn’t), please share share share!  You can also grab my RSS thinger, follow me on Twitter, or just come to my site and read stuff the old fashioned way.  Whatever tickles your pickle.

{Also, thanks to Kyle and Fiona for their recent donations to the blog.}

*****

Alright, I’m on to hockey, calm down.

BREAKING DOWN AGITATORS

We’ve all accepted that agitators are a part of hockey.  They always have been.  But let’s call a spade a spade today, because frankly, it’s fun to do.

They’re phonies.

Their style of play is a cop out for effective hockey.  When they aren’t performing well, they always have the fail-safe option of flapping their gums in the direction of their opponent, and suddenly everyone thinks they’re “in the game”. 

Even their coach might say “Look at that guy, he’s the only one who cares tonight.”

Really?

O-VER  RATE-ED clap-clap-clapclapclap. 

For some reason, the fans love them, yet they have zero positive effect on their teams chances of winning, unless they’re actually playing the quality hockey that so many of them are capable of.  Zero percent, because for every time their antics help a team win, it’s balanced by them costing their team a game.

In this sport, what does “rattling” your opponent do?  Fire him up?  — It’s hockey, not golf.  I understand head games when you’re playing a guy who has to stand over a four foot million dollar putt, but getting someone more involved and revved up in a physical game?  All these idiots do is wake sleeping beasts.

There are times when they draw penalties, sure.  But to do that, you need to sneak in a few spears and trips, which means they end up taking a few along the way themselves.  These guys hear “poser” and “clown” and “phony” on repeat, because their peers know what they are.  They’re doing whatever they need to do to draw a paycheck, but it’s not in a respectable way.  It’s indecent proposal on skates – would you intentionally injure people for a million dollars?  Apparently, yes.

Name me a completely clean agitator that’s get devoid of a “questionable” play in their career.  Cooke?  Burrows? Hartnell?  Downie?  Carcillo?  Avery?  Somewhere along the line they all take it too far. (Honest question: I rarely see the Wild play, but Clutterbuck is getting a bit of a reputation for being effective.  Is he both an “agitator” and still without incident?  Maybe he’s the rule’s exception.)

In playing that role, you know that’s the case.  You know at some point you “might” hurt someone.   Your coach knows that’s probably going to happen too, so he lives with his fingers crossed that it just doesn’t cost the team a penalty.

How many times can you watch a forward make a just-a-split-second-later-than-necessary attempted hit, miss the guy and make a ruckus on the glass, and still rise to your feet and applaud?

The difference between those worthy of our respect is just so unmistakable: If Jerome Iginla feels someone did something that needs answering, he drops the gloves from his Hall-of-Fame 50-goal scoring hands and fights.  If Vincent Lecavalier needs to get his team going, he’ll do the same.

But when Sean Avery goes to fill his role, he skates by the opposing bench, taunts someone, hacks someones laces, agrees to fight then leaves his gloves on to draw a penalty.  There’s no honor there.  But enjoy your celebrity, dude.

These guys have always been in the game, from my Dad’s day to mine.  They aren’t going anywhere, and I’m not proposing they do.  I’m just proposing we open our eyes and stop cheering for them.

Don Cherry, Get Fuzzy and Video Review

 

Before I let the Matt-Cooke-on-Mark-Savard-hit go (and keeping in mind that once I do, Savard will still be dealing with weeks/months of photo-sensitivity and inability to exercise without dry-heaving for few minutes), I thought I’d run the Coaches Corner where Don Cherry addressed the situation better than anyone so far – it’s a must-see.  This is the rare issue worthy of Cherry’s intensity, and really puts Matt Cooke (and the situation) in perspective:

Okay, sorry to start off on that note – let’s get happy! (© Pardon The Interruption)

*****

I’m a cartoon guy. 

Not like a “Saturday morning” cartoon guy, or a “Superman” cartoon guy, but a comic strip dude.  I can get pretty passionate in either praise for The Far Side, or in VILE PULSATING HATRED for Family Circus (I’ve been thinking about running their daily cartoon and just viciously shredding it like Fuck You, Penguin does to cute animals pictures, only my version would lack the redeeming quality of having cute animal pictures). If you’re a comic-sseur like myself, you may enjoy the following daily comic strips (your suggestions welcome):

Get Fuzzy

Dibert

 

 

 

 

 

Pearls Before Swine

(Also, in college I quite liked the Strong Bad emails and Teen Girl Squad at Homestar Runner.com.)

*****

Okay, back to hockey – one quick thought:

A colour guy made a great point on the weekend:  Ilya Kovalchuk took a lazy wrister from just inside the blue line, and Marc-Andre Fleury went to catch it.  Travis Zajac came from the side of the net, and simply pushed in Fleury’s glove with his stick, allowing the puck to go, y’know, in the net.  From the refs angle, he couldn’t see the interference.

Why not make goalie interference video reviewable?  I understand the “it’d hold up the game” argument, but isn’t that one of the few places you’d like to be sure you got the call exactly right?

*****

Oh wooden legs.  Are you ever un-funny?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*****

And last, let me continue to siphen away those painful Monday minutes for ya.  This is “Really?!?, with Seth and Jerry” —- aimed at Eric Massa.

 

Jeff Bourne: 2010 Sledge Hockey Preview

 

For those of you who’ve been long-time blog readers, you know my brother Jeff is one of those people you’re blessed to get to know.

A number of months ago, Jeff was accepted to be one of Canada’s hosts for the Paralympic games – it took an interview process, and he was picked based on the pure fact that he’s so likable you want to punch him in the face (which I’ve often wanted to do for my own brotherly reasons).  Sadly, Jeff when through a tough time after visiting me here in Phoenix, and had an extended stay in the hospital.

Since “Jeff’s Ordeal” as the blog I wrote was titled, they found the root of the problem – a major surgery, endless staples to the head and chest, and a few weeks of recouping later, and the dude is good as new.  It’s not like he was a pretty canvas to disfigure anyway, if you get what I’m saying   {Kidding bro, kidding. …ish}

Anyways, what he is doing, is covering the Paralympic Sledge Hockey Tournament at his personal website.  If you’re remotely interested in sledge hockey (if you aren’t, you should be.  Check out the video I posted halfway down this blog for a convincer), Jeff will fill you in on everything you need to know as a tournament warm-up.

For those of you too lazy to click the link to his blog, grow up and CLICK THE LINK TO HIS BLOG.  Also, comment on it and contact the guy.  He’s just a fun person to get to know.  Learning Jeff-speak is like learning a whole inside-joke-laden language.  You won’t regret it.

Now, for those of you who were to lazy to click it, here’s what the Bourne’s newest blogger wrote.  ….But seriously, go read it on his site.  I don’t need any halfway committed sledge fans peeking in.  You’re in or you’re out:

******

2010 Vancouver Paralympic Sledge Hockey Tournament Preview

-by Jeff Bourne

As the 2010 Oylmpic winter games come to a close, we now look ahead to the 2010 Paralympic games.

The Paralympics doesn’t have quite as of a rich history as the Oylmpic games, but still, it is a valid evolution of the acceptance of disabled people.

Here’s a Brief history of the Paralympic Games for those of you that aren’t as informed:

The games were started in Stoke, Mandeville, England in 1948, as a way to get soldiers returning from the 2^nd World War up and moving again. The current winter paralympics did not start until 1980 in Geilo, Norway. There was only 3 events during the 1^st winter Paralympics which where: Alpine Skiing, Ice sledge speed racing and cross country skiing.

Today the winter paralympics consists of five sports which include: Wheelchair curling, Cross country skiing, Alpine skiing, Biathlon and Ice sledge hockey.

I myself have been playing Sledge hockey for 7 years now, and have grown to love the sport.

For those of you that do not know what sledge hockey is, sledge hockey is pretty much exactly like regular hockey except it is played in “sledges”.  Sledges consist of a bucket seat with runners to hold your legs out straight and ice hockey blades on the bottom of the sledge.  Players use two smaller sticks with ice picks on the bottom to propel themselves around the ice.

During the 2010 paralympics there will be 8 National teams competing for the gold medal.  Pool A will consist of: The Czech Republic, Japan, South Korea and The USA.  Pool B consists of: Canada, Italy, Norway and Sweden.

In my pre-paralympic predictions. I am going to take the USA coming out of pool A on top followed by Japan in second place followed by South Korea and the Czech Republic. You may be wondering why I predict the Czech’s to finish in last place in pool A?  The Czech republic has only recently begun to play the game of sledge hockey, and South Korea’s world ranking before the paralympics was 5^th.

Pool B is going to be a more exciting pool to watch, especially for Canadian fans. I am going to predict that Canada with it’s home ice advantage will come out of pool B on top followed very closely by Norway,with Sweden and Italy rounding out the pool.

Some of the players to watch for in pool B are Norway’s Eskil Hagen as well as fellow Norwegians, Helge Bjornstad, Rolf Einer Pedersen, Tommy Rovelstad, and Norway’s goaltender Roger Johansen. As for the Canadian national team, be on the look out for players such as Billy Bridges who has been dubbed the Sidney Crosby of sledge hockey. Also, Bradley Bowden is a player who I would compare to Crosby’s teammate Evgeni Malkin. In goal for Canada is Paul Rosen, who is one of the top two goalies in the world today.

In Pool A, watch out for the USA’S Steve Cash and Taylor chance, who have a really good chance of being in the top five in scoring when the tournament is all over. For the Japanese team, be on the look out for Takayuki Endo and goalie Shinobu Fukushima.

My final predictions for the Gold, Silver and Bronze medal would have to be Canada winning gold — I’m not trying to be bias here, I just think that because it is in Canada I will give them the edge. As for the silver medal I would think Norway has a great chance as finishing 2^nd with the USA rounding out the top three.

Well paralympic fans, i hope you enjoy the next 10 days of paralympic competition, I know I will!!

******

Justin again …Fine, here’s the video:

 

Chris Chelios: Double U. Tee. Eff?

 

{Qualifier: the author of this blog respects the career and accomplishments of NHL great Chris Chelios.  But, you know… come on now.}

Okay, let’s talk about this:  Does he need money, or hate his family? 

Give me a third possible reason for why he’s still playing, and know that saying “for the love of the game” will get you called an idiot.  Unless of course, you’re right, in which case I’ll call him one.  Someone’s gettin’ called an idiot here.

Can I get a review from someone who actually got to watch his game last night? 

I only saw the ESPN highlight package like a lot of you, where they mispronounced his name (like he hasn’t been a Hall-of-Famer since the early fourties), showed a clip of the bad-bounce-off-his-leg goal, a clip of a bad pinch/slow chase, and then ran his “dash one” stat line before moving on to an extended segment of women’s Div. III bowling or whatever it is they prefer to cover.

You know what stat-line I wanna see?  His pension.  What does 26 NHL seasons (x) ”lots of money” pay out when you retire?  Probably still “lots of money”, right?  He played during the financial glory days.  ….and the decade before those glory days.

Also from the “things I want to see” file, is him sharpening knives on his 100% rawhide leather face.  But I doubt they’ll show either of those things.

Twitter blew up after Chelios finally re-cracked the big leagues.  And why not?  It must have been so exciting for Mr. Chelios to get a chance to play at the same level with NHL heroes of his like Rob Schremp, Carlos Gunnarson and Vern Fiddler.

Here’s a few of finest #CheliosIsSoOld jokes Twitter folk were dropping:

#CheliosIsSoOld he tried to block the shot that killed Lincoln.

#CheliosIsSoOld when he was a kid, rainbows were black and white.

 #CheliosisSoOld That the Thrashers are changing the name of their arena to the Jurassic Center.

 #CheliosIsSoOld his first call to the NHL was delivered by a burning bush.

  #CheliosIsSoOld He has a bowl of Werthers Original at his locker, just in case the kids stop by.

 #CheliosIsSoOld that he himself was the greatest thing before sliced bread was invented.

and my personal fave….

#CheliosIsSoOld that his last hip check was at the Orthopedist’s office.

Ahhhh, classic.  Just classic.

*****

How much has the one-timer been revolutionized by Ilya Kovalchuk, Alexander Ovechkin, and most recently Steven Stamkos? (Who, by the way, should be just about ready to drop the “n” and go with Steve.)

A one-timer used to be a way to shoot while the goalie was moving, so there’d be more holes to hit.  But guys couldn’t knock precise one-timers of the post-crossbar elbow like they can now, even as recently as a decade ago.

First off, these guys wheelhouses are about half-a-zone big, compared to someone like myself, where, if the pass isn’t exactly one inch ahead of the direct center of my one-time stance, somebody is getting hit in the neck.  They can pure the thing from anywhere.

And if the person passing puts it ahead of them, and slow enough that they can adjust, holy-good-night-crap-bricks, they damn near put it through the goalies chest with that little bit of all-star-contest-skate-into-it speed.

It’s going to become a standard feature of every new prospect from here forward, like power windows.  If you can’t bomb the one-tee, you can’t score goals.

{Semi-tangent:  Remember how great it was in the NHL 90-whatever games, that you could hit pass-then-shoot, and it’d pass the puck to the best choice guy then bomb a one-timer?  Every goal was a one-tee.  Back-hand slapshot, top corner…. it didn’t matter.  There was no other way to score, unless it was 93, in which case you could just skate across the crease and the goalie would get stuck on the post.}

Disclaimer: the maker of the following vid seems to be pro-Ovechkin’s slap shot.  Call it a hunch.

 

Definitely.

 Really, just go have a YouTube party watching those guys shoot.  I may add more later in the day.

 

*****

TGIF – Have a great weekend everyone!

Inside The Dressing Room: Kangaroo Court & Apologies

 

I’ve written before about players putting money towards the team pot for big wins.  In that bit, I danced around the best aspect of raising that year-end fund (which, of course, goes to a pizza and pop party that definitely wouldn’t involve, say, a strip club). 

Kangaroo Court.

A lot of people are familar with the concept, as a lot of organizations use them as a fun revenue generator.

At the professional level, it’s fun, and a decent amount of money changes hands (another reason why it’s a bitch getting traded or cut – guys party on the pot you chipped in to).  At the college level, it’s the highlight of the freaking week, and max fines are only $3 (save for broken team rules, like $15 for being late, etc.).

How it works is simple – the dry erase board is hung somewhere visible in the room.  The format is basic: when you want to fine a teammate, you write his number under “fined” and your own under “by”.

16  -  12

No need to disclose topics, or any of the who/what/why/when/where/how circumstances of the fine-able offense until court comes around.

Needless to say, on Mondays, a lot of numbers go up on the board from the weekend.  Half the fun is harrassing the guy you’re fining, or vice versa.  If you’re on the “fined” side, it’s not the money you’re stressed about, it’s the public condemnation/humiliation/verbal-beat-down (Strictly totally clever, Shakespearian witticisms.  Yep.  Hardly any gay sex jokes.). 

What did I ever do to you?  Fine then, I’m fining you for _________ (insert petty thing that’d never stick).

The rule is, you can’t fine someone for something that happened previous to the last Kangaroo Court session, which means you have to get away with whatever it is you did for a full week.

When court rolls around post-practice, the fun begins.  In college, the seniors are the jury, in pro, the captains.  Whoever is running court grabs the board, and it begins. 

First up, 16 is being fined by number 12.  State your case.

You have to save your best stories for court, preferably bar stories, as you have the whole teams attention.  There’s always some gem about a guy throwing a line at someone’s girlfriend, buying drinks for a woman of questionable repute or any other form of debauchery that’s deemed to have crossed the line.  (God I want to tell the photo evidence story.  We’ll all have to go for drinks some time so I can.  All of us.)

The person being crucified, upon just finding out what he did wrong (okay, sometimes you know), has to defend himself to the team and the jury.  Then, the ruling comes in, from no fine to three bucks (it’s not about the money, you may have guessed).  In pro, the numbers are higher, but it’s still beside the point.

College is an experience I wouldn’t trade for anything, and I can’t remember ever laughing harder at any point during my four years than I did during those trials.  Mostly cause I never did anything fine-worthy, and was always on the fun side of it.  Which, I can assure you, because it’s my blog, and I have the power to delete comments.  MUAH-HA-HAAAA.

*****

You know what’s crazy that a lot of fans never get to see?  Guys that apologize to the whole team between periods.

Nathan Lawson, the amazing/underrated goaltender of the Bridgeport Sound Tigers was always the first person to own up to a bad goal – Sorry about that one guys, I gotta have that.  I’ll be better in the third, pick me up – which is just so refreshing.  Plenty of goalies tend to believe (or at least act) like they’ve never given up a bad goal, so when you get a good guy like that, you really want to work for him, you know?

It happens after bad penalties too, at the end of a period – My bad guys, that was stupid – kill this thing off for me and lets get back on ‘em.

Of course, then there’s the guys who apologize, then go out and do the same thing over and over, which sort of takes the value out of their words.  You know who doesn’t strike me as an apologizer?  Matt Cooke.  Just a thought.

Anyways, that’s all the totally random dressing room stuff I’ve got for today.  Thanks for the support – the site is really blowing up the last couple weeks.  You just wait to see how much traffic we get on here for the first round of playoffs when the Islanders play the Caps!  Yeah!  Islande….no?  Okay, probably not.

No Suspension For Cooke – Idiocy Revealed

 

I received a great email from a reader today, which I think people should see.  He made the following point:

“Campbell said the Richards hit set a precedent. I’ve not had a problem with the NHL’s suspensions and reasons for suspension this season unlike many others, but this one is absolutely ridiculous. There have been a couple precedents set, and one that directly involves Cooke.

Authors note: the following were video links, embedded below.

Precedent
Suspension
in reference to previously set precedent
 
The Anisimov hit Cooke was suspended for was ‘a check to the neck/head area.’”

Enjoy the videos in succession.

Reference:

Precedent:

In reference to previously set precedence:

Think those hits are accidents?

*****

I wrote a piece for The Hockey News on what I think should be a factor in making head shots legal/illegal.  The GMs made nearly the exact same proposal I was hinting at.  Check it out here.

The Call-Up I Should’ve Declined

 

Here’s my favourite call-up story:

As you probably know by now, I’m engaged to Clark Gillies Daughter, Brianna.

At the time of this story, I was playing for the Utah Grizzlies of the ECHL (that’s me on the left, shortly before my coach became the 64th one I’ve had tell me to smile less.  Hey, I like hockey), and she was finishing her Masters at Stonybrook University, interning and taking classes to become an Occupational Therapist.  Finding time to be together was tough.

Coincidentally, my team had a homestand over Valentines Day – being that Bri was probably going to be said Valentine, she adjusted her schedule (read: skipped classes) to come out on the Friday, and booked her trip to return home on the Sunday.  Not a whole lotta time, but when you see each other once every Wayne Primeau goal, you take what you can get.

The best case scenario for me was to get called up and play in Bridgeport, which was a 70 minute drive from her parents place on Long Island.  My slow offensive start that year wasn’t exactly helping our cause.  But, I had started to pick it up, and we committed to a weekend together in Salt Lake City until Bridgeport needed a right winger… not that we were wishing for their bus to roll or anything (a horrible truth about playing in a farm system).

Her trip took her through Chicago and got to Salt Lake around nine PM, so I had gone to dinner with Jordy Hart, which is when she called.

“No complications or delays in Chicago, just boarding to get outta here babe!”

Beautiful.

I headed home to tidy the place, as is the standard panic move of a dude living with two other dudes who’s previous dude places were dude dorms or with their parents.

About 30 minutes later and five minutes from my place, I got the call from our coach:

I was going up.

I was to drive to the rink, pack my gear, get home, pack a bag and some suits, and my flight was to leave at ten PM.  I’d get in to La Guardia around 4 AM EST or so, hop in the car they sent, and get driven the 90 minutes to Connecticut, either to a hotel, or to make the money-saving move of going directly to the rink for practice (where I was told I could sleep on the couch in the dressing room for a few hours).   ….Thanks.

Oh, and there was that one other minor complication:  Bri was still in the air. 

And where had she departed from?  You guessed it:  La Guardia.  Well isn’t this special.

I was panicked.

I was plotting.

I did the only thing I could do – you can’t turn down a call-up.  I packed my stuff up, and headed to the airport.  I bought her a one-way flight (thank god there were seats) on my flight (annnnd then I was broke), and waited for her to land.

By the time her flight landed and she made it off, it was 9:15 – 45 minutes ’til her return flight, and there I was – hockey bag, sticks, duffle bag, suit bag, and holding her ticket.  No long awaited run and hug.  Minimal smiling.  My travel-weary, bummed out girlfriend cried. 

But I mean… this is a good thing… right?

We flew through the night to La Guardia, and Bri wasn’t willing to give up on our weekend.  Almost 24 hours later, she arrived with me at the hotel, where we dropped our stuff off, and I carried on to the rink, taking the only ride I could get, the sent car.

At least when the weekend was over, I’d still be close by, right?

I barely had time to see Bri over the next day or so before she had to head home, but we were happy because I’d be close.  A week later, I travelled with Bridgeport to Portland, so Bri wasn’t able to drive up on the weekend, but we had made plans for her to come up after work the following Monday. 

After the Portland game, we were standing in line at Tim Hortons, grabbing a snack for the road. I was ahead of coach Jack Capuano in the line, when this conversation happens:

“Boahny (Boston accent for Bourny) – Yoah goin’ t’ the ahll-stahh game tomorrow, aight?  When we get back, yoah flights at seven outta La Guahdia, the cah will pick you up just aftah three.”  Yup, A.M.

“Oh.  OH.  Okay….”  *thinking* “Was that just weirdest send-down ever?“  I had a hunch I wasn’t being flown back to Bridgeport after the game.  I was right.

The ECHL all-star game was in Stockton, California – not so close to New York, for you geography buffs.  After the full day of travel, I was the last guy to arrive.  Some of the players were fully dressed for the skills competition, taking place in 20 minutes – that’s how tight my cross-continent adventure was.  I was gonna have to bust it to get my gear on in time for this thing to start.

I literally didn’t even know:  What fucking event am I in?

I checked the schedule, hoping for a little time to warm up and a little information about what I was to be doing.  And there is was, in 17 minutes:

FIRST EVENT, 7:00 START
PUCK HANDLING/AGILITY SKATE

FIRST UP:  JUSTIN BOURNE

*****

 

A few pictures from our call-up:

(1) Had airport security take this picture after they red-flagged us to SEARCH BOTH OUR BAGS.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(2) St. Patty’s Day with my roomate after getting called up the second time for a couple months, Kip Brennan.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(3) Bri and I get artsy by this awesome old building.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(4) This thoughtful pic look familiar?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(5) Not a bad ocean view from our spot on the Sound.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(6) Didn’t have my sticks when I first got called up – what was meant to be up around the goalies ears was up around the middle of his logo.  Sighhhhh…..

I’ll Take Potpourri For A Thousand, Alex

 

Not that my blog is particularly focused in the first place, but I’m due to unload a whole crapload of half-baked thoughts.  Some may be on the same page as you, some may be a complete waste of seconds of your life, but hey – I’m pretty sure it was the variable interval schedule of rewards that got the rats coming back the most in the Skinner box, so it only makes sense.  Start hitting the lever, my pretties…. 

*****

My BlackBerry only allows me to send 160 characters in a text.  Hey phone, you’re not Twitter.  My archaic, older machines used to let me go long and send it in two parts, but my new one won’t?  ….At least I don’t have to use AT&T like iPhonies, I guess….

*****

The NHL Network did interviews with Sidney Crosby and Ryan Miller post-Olympics, and largely focused on the final goal.  I realize Ryan Miller’s head is shaped like an ice cream cone, but did we really have to sit him down and give him those few extra licks?  The guy was all over him, like the last goal was a Miller meltdown.  Hockey plays kinda happen quickly there, Tom Brokaw.

*****

Crosby turned down the chance to do the Top Ten on Letterman, as he has before.  My guess for “why?” is because there’s nothing more patronizing than reciting jokes about hockey written by people who have zero idea about the sport to begin with.  Okay, team, we need ten jokes involving sticks, ice and gold.  Let the hilarity begin.

*****

I used to chat with my mom after a close playoff game I was in, and she’d say that at times she was near a complete and utter emotional meltdown …yet I never was.  It occurred to me after the Canada/US final that Mom is right – when you care about the result of a game, it’s far easier (stress-wise) to be playing than watching.

*****

Let’s bring this picture into focus:  Nobody is ever allowed to say “eye-hand” in reference to “hand-eye” coordination again, okay?  Good talk.

*****

Commentators always give goalies shit for looking behind them like they’re shaky, which they might be.  But if it’s your goalie, aren’t you glad he’s doing it?  If he isn’t certain he has full possession, isn’t it kinda like crossing the street…. no harm in checking?  If you aren’t sure, damn straight have a glance, and sooner than later.  I don’t need a puck limping across my goal line, thanks.

*****

I have a petty grudge against American Olympian Ryan Suter for calling me a “bender” in college a half-dozen times, so I’d like to take this opportunity to extend a retro-active, Canadian “ha-ha” to him (said like Nelson from the Simpsons) on his crushing overtime defeat.  What’s that you say?  He’s rich, in the NHL, and an Olympic silver medalist?  Touché.

*****

Best backhand(s) in the NHL:  Patrick Kane, Evgeni Malkin, Henrik Zetterberg.  Come accept your awards.

*****

I’m stoked about The Marriage Ref, even though it has nothing to do with marriage.  Really, it’s just a topic for three really funny people to BS about.  Consider my DVR set.

*****

For this years trendy, surprise Stanley Cup champion pick, I predict people predicting San Jose.  Everyone knows you’re not supposed to, based on their past playoff failures.  Thus, it’s a talented team that people shouldn’t pick – the perfect formula for all us talking heads to take as a “shocker that might come true”.  The goal isn’t to be right – hell, being right in the majority might actually be worse than being wrong.  So here comes everyones attempts at “right in the minority”.  See, look what a great hockey mind I am!

*****

As I’m fairly tall, and somehow I shrink all my shirts up over time, I think I see how old men end up wearing their pants under their nipples.  Shirts miraculously get shorter, so the pants gotta come up to compensate.  I’m like the Hardy Boys, knocking out one mystery at a time.

*****

In Tiger’s apology speech, everytime he started to tear up, he put it on lock and got it together.  Isn’t that the ultimate testament to the guy’s mental ability?  To just put the kibosh on tears and re-focus?  Impressive.

*****

And last, if you feel like reading a real column I wrote, you can check out my thoughts on why it’s harder to score towards the end of the season, for USA Today.  I think that’s enough mind-puke for one day.  Happy Tuesday.  Not the biggest day in the sports world.  You may have spend time with your family today.  ….Ugh.

Options For Avenging a Cheapshot Are Pretty Limited

 

Interesting timing – I was going through some columns that I had deemed unfit to release from a few months ago, and found this one about what David Booth can do to avenge getting his brain shaken by Mike Richards (short answer: nothing).  But after Matt Cooke played the role of Richards in a recent re-enactment with Mark Savard, it seems relevant again.

 

*****

What Now?

-by Justin Bourne

 

Mike Richards scrambled David Booth’s eggs so thoroughly that the guy was no longer free range. It happened on a hit you’d be polite to describe as “questionable”.

Confined to the couch and bed, he avoided exercise like all concussion-cases, letting things heal themselves using the best known medication – time – and has since made his return to the Florida Panthers.

He watched Mike Richards get punished in the form of… um… he got punished by… er… really, he didn’t even get a game suspension?  What the crap?

From David Booth’s perspective, you have to think the fella’s a little pissed.  He narrowly missed being named to the US Olympic team, and was denied the chance to prove his worth over the course of this season, while Richards snuck onto one Team Canada as one of the last forwards chosen (they like that he plays a physical game, you see).

Without their top goal scorer (Booth had 31 goals last year), the team is currently a few points out of a playoff spot, and just behind… the Philadelphia Flyers, who are now technically in the playoffs.

Needless to say, the aftershocks of a decision made by Richards that happened in a split second are still reverberating throughout the Eastern Conference standings.

Florida played Philly about a month back and lumped them up 4-1, even without their star Booth.  That was nice, but had they had him all season, who knows how many 2-1 games would have gone Florida’s way, or shootout losses would’ve gotten nullified with Booth in the lineup.  Game breakers are tough to come by, and to be so close to the playoffs without theirs, the Panthers have a right to gripe.

In these cases, when you or a teammate gets drilled, people always tell you to beat them on the scoreboard.  That doing that is the best revenge.  That the scoreboard is where it really hurts.

Is it though?  What’s Booth supposed to do when he comes back, try really really hard to win?  You don’t think he was doing that before, and every other night of his career?  He can’t control how the rest of his team plays.  Maybe he’ll show up with his “A” game to beat the Flyers the next time they play but Florida won’t win.  In hockey, you’re just one piece in a big team puzzle.

Tying to beat up your assailant isn’t the right answer either.  Though noble, by the “fight him” logic, the toughest guys on the ice have free rein to destroy people, because you can’t ever get real physical revenge on a fight-winning human like George Laraques (though I’m sure Nicklas Kronwall would like to try, stick in hand, of course).  You can always try, but if you get hit by a tougher dude, the only thing you get by going after him when you’re healthy is a chance to be made unhealthy again.

Also, there’s the whole moral thing, which can be a hassle.  You’re supposed to be above that, you know.

There’s the idea that the player who injures another player illegally should be out as long as the player he injured, but that theory’s got more holes than an OJ alibi.  I won’t even go into that theory.

So if you’re David Booth, how do you avenge the Richards hit? 

Maybe you don’t.  Maybe you just take your lumps, acknowledge you play in a contact league, and that hits like that – whoever’s to blame for them - are periodically gonna happen.

But that’s frustrating bullshit too.

The second you see Richards you’re going to want to hit him with a tire iron.

There’s just nothing you can do.  When you get seriously injured in the NHL, not only do you suffer temporary and long-term health concerns, you suffer the mental misery from not having a way to settle the score.

This is why the reaction towards dangerous hits from the league is so crucial.  Low-balling the seriousness of a hit is a crime nearly as bad as the hit itself.

I’m a Canadian hockey player who loves watching the rough stuff.  But in an era where players have to answer less and less for their actions on the ice, we need to hold them more and more responsible from the offices off the ice.  Especially in light of the recent data the NFL has been digging up about the seriously harmful long term effects of concussions.

The only way to get players to exercise more caution is to keep dropping suspensions that get players to snap awake like we dumped cold water on them.  They’ll bitch, they’ll complain ….and they’ll stop finishing “questionable” plays.

Too little, too late for David Booth, but don’t worry.  He’ll get ‘em on the scoreboard, where it hurts the most.

*****

Authors note:  As you probably know, David Booth did try to fight Mike Richards.  After seeing how it went down,  I was glad it happened.  Nobody got hurt, Richards gave Booth his fair shot, and it was over.  That said, other than gaining respect in the hockey world, nothing changed in the big picture.  Booth missed half a season while Richards didn’t miss a shift, the Panthers are still just out of playoffs, and Booth missed the Olympics while Richards has a gold medal.  And, Richards team will most likely make playoffs.  Some of you may not have thought that hit was bad, but I did, so I’m just using it as an example to illustrate a point.  This article isn’t just about those two.

A Little Insight Into “Show Dough”

 

Occassionally, I’m going to do a little feature called call-up madness, explained, where I’ll answer any questions you have (email me) about what goes on behind the scenes of an NHL farm system.  Today, I’ll talk about something I never personally got to experience, but still know how it works from being around it.  You know, the part of playing professionally where you get rich: the NHL call-up, and how it affects your bankroll.

“Show Dough” is the term used to describe making NHL money by everyone not making it, AKA players in the AHL/ECHL and beneath.  The term is best served slathered in jealousy and bitterness.

You’ve heard the all-too-true stories: guy signs a big deal and has a Cadillac Escalade by the end of the week, cause, y’know, how else are people gonna know he makes show dough if he keeps his old car? (See how nicely the bitterness sets off the phrase?)

One of the fun parts about playing professional hockey below the Escalade pay-grade is that you get used to the fact that you could be rich or broke with a call-up or send down on any given day.  You have to, or you’d go crazy trying to Gilloly your teammates (that reference too dated yet?), so you sort of get numb to the whole thing.

What this means is, sometimes the mook who accidentally drinks his own chew spit, has no front teeth and made out with that chick-at-the-bar-that-turned-out-to-be-a-dude will just suddenly get “rich” when the phone rings one day.  It’s really weird to see who changes (and how) with the show dough earned from a call-up.

When guys permanently make it, they tend to quickly adjust to the next tax bracket, so they don’t really appreciate it like the guys who only get to go up for a couple days – because that couple days of show dough sounds glorious.

To over-simplify, league minimum is somewhere around (or maybe a bit above now) $450,000.00 a year, so getting called up for ONE SINGLE DAY is pro-rated to $3,000.00 in your bank acount, $2,000.00ish after taxes.  That means a week in the bigs equals $21k, $14 after tax. 

These call ups are for real.

For a guy making $50,000 a year, a very common AHL amount, a few day call up is a nice kick in the pants.  And for guys who have an NHL deal that make more than the minimum when they go up, it starts getting crazy.  Upon getting sent back to Bridgeport with the rest of us shlubs, Jeff Tambellini told me that his call-up (around three weeks or so) had earned him more than he made over the six/seven months of the entire AHL season.

So often, you’ll see a guy who gets called up to an NHL team for a few games get sent down for the two days between games, and fans go “well what the hell was that all about?” — and the answer is pretty obvious.  If a guy is making $300 a day in AHL, they stand to save $2,700 for every day they don’t have to have the kid practice, travel, or rest on an NHL roster (also why it’s nice to have your affiliate team close).  Clearly, not the best thing for the kids ability to succeed, but hey, them’s the breaks - you can take the days you get or don’t, bud.

Just thought I’d fill-in those of you who didn’t know how call-ups got paid, because hey, I’m here to help.

Next week in call-up madness, explained: coaches that dress extra guys for warm-up, then tap one or two of them on the shoulder to tell them they aren’t playing, just before the game…. and why they should be ice-picked in the face for doing it.

{Note: at Islander camp, we got $100 a day for meal money, in an envelope just stuffed with hundreds for the week ….and they provided two meals a day, including an omlette station with our buffet breakfast.  Guys under contract got $1500 for the week for “meals”, somehow.  ECHL “per diem” as they eloquently call meal money (which you only get on the road, of course), is up to $34 a day.}

The Trade Deadline Ends. Thankfully.

 

Not sure if you caught it yesterday, but David Booth squared up and fought Mike Richards last night, which was the greatest thing in the history of the NHL ever.  I think.  Oh, and he had a goal and three assists.  And he’s on my fantasy hockey team.  I love David Booth.

Think Team USA could have used one more goal scorer?  God it sucks that he didn’t get to play for his country… If I were Booth I’d have waited til Richards dropped his gloves, picked my stick back up and tried to crush his hands.  I’m just really proud of the guy for sticking up for himself against a tough character in Richards, that’s old time hockey.  Toe Blake n shit.

*****

Mercifully, that trade deadline is over. The paint has dried.

But in the end, I like the paint colour.  I’m so excited that the Coyotes got Wojtek Wolski.  Living here in Phoenix, who did you want to go see play, who sold tickets?  Jovonovski?

I finally have some real insentive to go.  I love that they were so aggressive, I was just completely blindsided by it (seeing that they’re spending the leagues money and all.  But this makes so much sense!  This is what I’ve been saying!  If they want to make it here, they can’t do it without having a team worth watching!).  I’m not so sure if I stand by my prediction of “sell” now that they have five new guys in the lineup working to make a first impression on Tippett.

So yes – I like the moves my “hometown” boys made, trading for the offense I thought they lacked, and that I thought was going to catch up with them.  Even picking up Petteri Nokelainen was a great move, this guy is just waiting to blow up.  The only thing I don’t really get, is trading for Morris and Schneider.

The Phoenix Coyotes are leading the NHL in goals scored by a d-corp.  They’ve been solid defensively, playing in front of a guy they trust.  So what’s the point in bringing in offensive d-men when you’re doing great in that area, when the two guys coming in are both a “little” suspect defensively?  Now your defensive-liability-list is starting to look a little scary (and old).  It’s a good thing Tippett is such a good coach.  ….Plus, anytime you can get Vandermeer out of steady rotation you’ve improved your team, so good for the Coyotes there.

*****

The NHL Network asked the question “who improved more, Washington or Pittsburgh?

Washington added: Joe Corvo, Scott Walker, Eric Belanger and Milan Jurcina.

Pittsburgh added: Alex Ponikarovsky and Jordan Leopold.

So many people loved Olympic hockey, because you didn’t have to sit through the shifts of tough-humans-who-can-skate-but-not-play-hockey like, oh I dunno, Scott Walker.  Admittedly, I don’t know much about Belanger (step up, Wild fans) or Corvo (step up, that-one-guy-from-Carolina-who-occasionally-defends-his-team-that-we-haven’t-really-heard-from-much-this-year), so I’m not really sure what happenend with Washington, I just know that any team adding Scott Walker is confused about how winning happens.

As for Pittsburgh, they made two golden, golden moves.  For me, last years Stanley Cup win was so incredible, because I thought they did it on the backs of about four or five guys, not a full team.  I figured it was going to be a lot harder for them to repeat than people thought.

With these moves, they picked up depth on D – Leopold is a hell of a player – as well as some size and scoring in PonikathankgodI’moutofToronto.

So early ruling, until we hear from readers – Pittsburgh gets the verdict over Washington…. likel usual.

 

Trade Deadline Live Blog

 

There’s nothing more deflating than waking up for the ever-exciting trade deadline day and realizing it probably won’t be that exciting, ever.

That said, there’s too many teams missing puzzle pieces for nothing to happen, so let’s hold our breath until it does, and talk it out here — LIVE BLOG, WEEEE!

The radio portion of Hockey Primetime.com – Primetime Radio – is playing at the bottom of the page, featuring my Dad (Bob Bourne), Mikko Koivu and myself as guests. Listen if you’d like!

Buy and Sell: Some NHL Teams As Stocks

 

Snap back to reality, and just like that, the multicolored rings, skin-tight lycra and Giant Inflatable Beavers are a thing of the past.  Last night, the puck dropped on Colorado – Detroit, and some very important points changed hands.

Before last nights NHL game, I was seriously contemplating putting a chunk of money down on Detroit, but simply don’t have a large chunk of it, which makes putting it somewhere kinda difficult.

I once heard that the NHL, gambling-wise, is the most predictable of the major sports.  That is to say that, for the most part, the good teams are usually the good teams, and Columbus will flouder in perpetuity.  I almost made that bet, because there’s still some inevitable leveling that needs to happen for the NHL season to get back to normal, and two teams played last night that moved in the directions they’re probably going in the second half.

And that’s no knock on Colorado – I believe in them a lot more than a few of the other surprise teams – it’s a testament to Detroit’s being-Detroit-ness, and having too much team to miss the playoffs.  Combine that with the now-healthy/running-out-of-time factor, and picking against the Wings (who have a rested goalie) down the stretch is madness.

Here’s five teams (as stocks), and I’ll letcha know what to do with your money!

Detroit:

As I just mentioned, they’re decent.  Pavel Datsyuk, Henrik Zetterberg, Johan Fransen, Tomas Holmstrom, Brian Rafalski, Nicklas Lidstrom, Nick Kronwall and the discovery of Jimmy Howard are the oh-so obvious reasons why (oh, and that Babcock guy).  They haven’t been healthy, and haven’t had a chance to be “them” yet.  BUY!  BUY!

Phoenix

I wrote an article at the start of the year for the Arizona Republic trying to defend the fans lack of attendance here.  My defense for them was, the team has sucked, sucks and will suck (you can teach English as a second language using that sentence, PS).  It turns out that that wasn’t a very smart angle to take upon moving to Phoenix, as it’s made getting credentialed in the press box a skosh harder, only made worse by the fact that I was horribly, horribly wrong.

So to take the angle I’m about to take is not something I want to do.  It’s just…. look, Coyotes fans:  Your roster has to catch up to you eventually, but that’s not a good argument for you because you love your roster.  Try this on: your d-corps is playing over their heads out of this world (leading the NHL in goals by d-men, really?).  They’ve done great up ’til now.  But Anaheim is about to get a bunch better.  Detroit is too.  So is St. Louis.  Then you’ve got San Jose, Chicago and the rest of the conference to contend with.

The problem?  11 of your last 15 games are on the road (I want to say nine in a row at one point).  I’m not sure how far I expect the fall, but it’s definitely out of home ice advantage.  So sorry, sell. (NOT LITERALLY, BALSILLIE, PUT YOUR WALLET DOWN!).

Anaheim

As Hiller showed with the Swiss in the Olympics, he’s the real deal.  Anaheim did a great thing in committing to him.  What they haven’t done great this year, is win.  I’m sure last year the system of finish eighth then reveal your true colours isn’t exactly the game plan, so I think we’ll see them revealved a little sooner this year.  San Jose is praying I’m wrong – they see the potential 7/8 seeds as Detroit/Anaheim and are already packing for an early summer.  Buy yourself a little bitta Duckstock.

St. Louis

Since Davis Payne’s arrival, St.Louis has been 11 – 8 – 3, not exactly setting the world on fire.  But any team that’s leaning on a foundation of David Backes, TJ Oshie, Eric Johnson and an under-achieving goalie can get itself righted.  They’re young guys, for sure, but they’re gaining experience and confidence as they go, so buy, BUY, BUY!

Buffalo

Down the stretch, I’m less trusting of the teams that have blown expectations out of the water, because there’s a reason people didn’t pick them to finish that high in the first place (looking at their roster, how can they be this good?).  People knew Ryan Miller was good, but “world’s best” good?  They may falter because they use this guy for not just a crutch, but a walker with tennis balls on the front to slide around on.  (Would you rather finish fourth with a burned-out Miller, or sixth/seventh with a rested one?  They should let him chill down the stretch a bit).  Miller has, in the past, started much better than he’s finished, because he’s a slight guy who gets overplayed and worn down.  Look for reality to set in a bit for the Sabres, sell!

Worth Mentioning:

I think the Kovalchuk trade was huge for the Devils – I’d be picking them to drop without that move.  But there’s another reason why it’s tough to pick them to drop:   The bottom half of the Eastern Conference is horrible.  Just horrible.  Atlanta, Florida, Carolina…. there’s just too many free wins for the boys at the top to pick teams like NJ to drop.

I’d mention the Isles as a team headed south if there hadn’t already set up permanent residence there (Hey, Ricky’s hurt!) ….2-8 in their last ten (horrible prediction – the Isles finish in the bottom five, get crazy lucky and win the draft lottery, then a few months later trade some sparklingly talented kid for draft picks cause they don’t actually want to have to pay too many good players). 

As for penny-stock moves, I think you’ll see Tampa Bay and Toronto finish the season stronger than the first two-thirds.

So there ya have it!  Where am I a horrible idiot (Jim Cramer from Mad Money), and where am I an awesome genius (Justin Bourne from Bourne’s Blog)?

*****

Tomorrow I’ll be live blogging trade deadline day with the team at Hockey Primetime.com (here, on my blog), from like 9:30 a.m. (EST) til forever.  I’ll be on a few radio shows.  I’ll be texting my friends that play for dirt.  Come by and say hi!

 

Team Canada Finds Olympic Glory

 

First, a major thank-you to the Americans and all the other countries for being, from what I’ve read, great guests up in Vancouver, BC.  After starting the Olympics on such a horrible, sad note, it sounds to me like things pulled together nicely, save for a few not-so-serious gaffes. 

Apparently security did a wonderful job of keeping fans and participants safe, all while not showing so much as a single weapon.  The games were the most eco-friendly to date, had the least doping violations ever, and the events were thrilling the whole way through (so much so that I keep hearing Americans talk about CURLING).  And the best part is, you know the athletes were getting along just fine as well, cause the Olympic village ran out of their initial shipment of ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND CONDOMS.

Second, a holy-shit to the American team for playing the tournament they played over the past ten days.  What a frustrating, talented group of guys Brian Burke assembled, and with Ryan Miller in net, they limited the firepower-filled Canadian roster to three goals twice.  So congrats on that well-earned silver medal.

And third, TEAM CANADA and that damn hockey game:

You know when you’re about to play a big game, and you’re getting lined up for the draw, and there’s that little bit of fun/nervous anticipation?  Then the pace of play for the first minute is like, mach six, until everyone realizes, “holy crap, we can’t keep this up for 60″ and drops back into normal game mode?  Yesterday’s game never dropped into normal game mode.

As I tend write on loop, difference-makers are the key to having success in hockey.  It’s a team game, but if you don’t have “that guy” to make that big play and break the score open, it’s hard to win when it counts.

The US has plenty of difference-makers, of course, but very few make a difference like Sidney Crosby does, at anything.  The goal wasn’t exceptional, you may say, but it’s how he gets to that shot that is.  After almost losing the puck in the ref’s skates, he makes a one-handed stick poke to get the puck low to Iginla in the corner, then breaks to the net, and out-skates the same man who buried the Canadians in the round-robin game, Brian Rafalski.  The touch of the puck he makes before the quick release, to move it out away from his feet was special – he had that thing in a shooting position before Miller could even flinch.

I’m handing out a tournament report card to each one of Steve Yzerman’s picks, because I feel like it.  Settle in for the long haul folks, and lets pick the Canadian squad apart.

Goalies:

 

1 ROBERTO LUONGO  (Vancouver)

Grade:  A -

The goalie that wins you the gold medal has to get some variation of an “A”, at least, right?  He faced a career-defining opportunity, and answered the bell.  If Canada hadn’t got it done last night, he’s Mickelson before his first major.  Actually, more accurately, he’d probably be Sergio Garcia today (best to never win the big one).  His defenders have been leaning on “he’s never been on a good enough team to get it done” forever, and knew this was a no-excuses moment for Bobby Lu.  Well played sir.  Well played.

29 MARC-ANDRE FLEURY (Pittsburgh)

30 MARTIN BRODEUR (New Jersey)

Grade: C

The reality is, things didn’t go well for Marty – the only time he played well was in the shootout versus Switzerland, and that wasn’t exactly the moment we needed our goalie to rise up.  That moment was two days later, and he simply wasn’t on when we needed him the most.  No big deal.

Defense:

2  DUNCAN KEITH (Chicago)

Grade: A+

One of the few Canadians that earned the elusive “plus”.  Holy crap was he great – I thought he took a major step in the public understanding of just how reliable, fast and talented he is.  He’s the type of guy you put on Belarus, give the guy 40 minutes of ice time and suddenly Belarus is tough to beat.

6  SHEA WEBER (Nashville)

Grade: A+

Contrary to the impression Canadian fans probably got, he wasn’t paired with Niedermeyer to have some veteran experience with youthful skill.  He was there so Niedermeyer could have someone to pick him up when things melted down.  The guy slapped a puck through the net, put people through the boards, and confirmed that he’s probably in the top five NHL defenseman today.

7  BRENT SEABROOK  (Chicago)

Grade: B

He was fine.  Playing with the probable Norris Trophy favourite right now helps, but he looked good in his own right.  He did exactly what was asked of him – nothing crazy, play defense-first, and trust that we had forwards capable of getting us goals.

8  DREW DOUGHTY  (Los Angeles)

Grade:  A-

He wasn’t asked to be a member of the Canadian team to be a game breaker, he was asked because he’s one hell of a fine d-man today with an even brighter tomorrow ahead of him.  I thought he played physical and smart, and Babcock did a great job of using him in an effective way without ever heaping too much responsibility on him.

20 CHRIS PRONGER (Philadelphia)

Grade: C

He gets a “plus” because it’s impossible to look really bad when you play with the guys Chris was playing with on Team Canada, but Pronger fans, it’s over.  He’s still got the big shot, but when you’re a physical d-man, and you get slow, you start playing like Andy Sutton.  Which is to say, you get yourself out of position by trying to be physical instead of it coming naturally.  He’s forcin’ it, at this point.

22  DAN BOYLE  (San Jose)

Grade:  A

Boyle played a key part in the biggest moment of the tournament for Canada – coming out against Russia like a house-on-fire.  Even if Canada wins that game but struggles doing it, the confidence to do what their team did may never get built.  He played within himself (in a good way), and when we needed someone to step the f**k up, he came at Russia like angry pitbull.

27 SCOTT NIEDERMEYER (Anaheim)

Grade: C +

Over his career, Niedermeyer has proven again and again that he’s got the tools necessary to be a threat offensively, and sound defensively.  Earlier in the tournament, I even mentioned I felt comfortable with him out there.  By the end of the tournament, I was just thankful we got away without getting too badly burnt by him.  Jack Johnson skated around him like he was ankle deep in mud, and what’s worse, is he’s supposed to handle the puck so well, but turned the puck over far more often the “young gun” d-men he was supposed to be leading.  When he had time, he still made some good plays, and transitioned the Canadian forwards well, but as I mentioned earlier, I was just happy he had Weber to back him up when he needed it most.

Forwards:

10  BRENADN MORROW (Dallas)

Grade: B+

For me, Morrow was a “I just don’t see him making a big enough difference to justify his spot” pick.  It seemed like he was there out of obligation.  As the tournament wore on though, and the games got more serious, I was pumped to have him out there.  Difference-makers are doubly effective when they play with guys doing it the right way, and I though Morrow complimented the skill guys well.

11 PATRICK MARLEAU

Grade: B -

Marleau made a nice play on the Perry goal in the finals to make it 2-0 by driving the net, but beyond that, I hardly noticed the guy.  For a guy with his goal scoring history, to play with the studs he plays with and see powerplay time, I can honestly say I hardly ever noticed him, and was surprised when I did. 

12  JAROME IGINLA (Calgary)

Grade: A

Crazy, right?  But the fact of the matter is, over this tournament, he earned that A.  I know his goals were against the dog teams, but you felt good with Iggy out there knowing a few things:  One, he’s a work horse with the need to win, not the “want” to win that a guy like Thornton seems to have.  Two, if he gets it in a danger zone, he has one of the best shots in the world.  And three, he’s smart with the puck.  Limits tournovers, passes when he needs to, but thinks shot first.  I thought he was great, just like in 2002. (Oh, and the slick play on the OT winner helps)

15 DANY HEATLEY (San Jose)

Grade: B

Shark fans, you scared yet?  I thought Heatley was the most dangerous player on the Sharks line, getting a couple good opportunities every night, and scored a few nice goals for the boys in red and white.  That said, he’s a fairly one-dimensional player, and if he’s not scoring, his VORP (value over replacement player, baseball stat) is pretty low.

16  JONATHAN TOEWS  (Chicago)

Grade: A+

A few days ago, I made a joke about Toews not scoring a goal that was totally sarcastic, and I got a few questions about it – trust me, it was sarcastic.  He was the best forward on Team Canada throughout the tournament, bar none, and if Ryan Miller wasn’t the Second Coming I’d proclaim JT tourney MVP.  I don’t think he was on the ice once in the entire tournament for a goal against, he was a dishing machine, a work-horse, reliable, and scored the huge, huge first goal in the final game, from the exact same spot that Pavel Demitra hit iron from about 40 hours earlier.  Chicago is fahking scary right now.

18  MIKE RICHARDS  (Philadelphia)

Grade: A

Part of the fun of these events is cheering for guys you normally root for getting sent down to the SPHL (real league), and Richards is one of them.  He was the most pleasant surprise of the tournament, proving how his all-around game makes him one of the best linemates to have in the league.  He plays physical, but also pays unwavering attention to defense.  More than anything, he has all the offensive tools, and is by no means a grinder.  He was the reason Toews got the look he did on the first goal, and deserves much praise for his play in Vancouver.

19 JOE THORNTON  (San Jose)

Grade: C +

Same ‘ol, same ‘ol for Playoff Joe, huh?  It’s tough to describe where he goes at times like this, but I know one thing – you can’t fake “fire”, and deep inside Joe burns a firepit…. around which he’s strumming a guitar, drinking a corona, and roasting a pig. 

21  ERIC STAAL  (Carolina)

Grade: A -

The danger when you chuck together these national all-star teams is the fancy-pantsery goes overboard and effective play dwindles (see: the Russians).  Having a guy like Staal on your team takes care of that, by combining a talented finisher with an old-school Canadian mentality – drive the middle, finish your checks, take care of your own end first.  The promotion to the Crosby line was a great thing for Canada, cause it meant he’d get more ice time.

24  COREY PERRY  (Anaheim)

Grade: B

Probably the toughest guy to grade, because I literally don’t remember seeing him until he’d score.  I can’t think of any defensive meltdowns, and he scored a few big goals for Canada, so you have to give the guy a good grade, but in the end, I just can’t think of him controlling the play.  Whatever.  I’ll take a few snipes and a vanishing act from Corey this year.

37  PATRICE BERGERON  (Boston)

Grade:  C +

I always hated getting judged when I didn’t get the chance to prove myself (see: playing on the fourth line during an American League call up), but the facts are this, Patrice:  you weren’t in the lane 40 seconds into the round-robin game against the US, and Rafalski scored.  You’re a winger, the defensive part of your job isn’t that hard, and us Canadians were kind of taking that game seriously.  So sit down and wait for a penalty to go kill.

51  RYAN GETZLAF  (Anaheim)

Grade: B +

Getzlaf was plenty of effective plenty of times, but he also showed a disturbing penchant for making really shitty, what-the-f**k-was-that? type plays.  You expect, when you watch the best players in the world, not to see guys relying so heavily on talent over smarts.  You don’t expect to see plays that are so obviously guesses.  On the other hand, he was an offensive force who finished his checks and made a difference.  B +.

61  RICK NASH  (Columbus)

Grade: A

I’m a little disappointed, because I thought he could’ve been an A + guy early on in the tournament.  Maybe I just haven’t watched him enough, but he looked next to impossible to contain like 95% of the time.  His stat line and the fact that he wasn’t in on the biggest moments are the only thing stopping me from chucking out a +, but I was really wow’ed by the kind of player he is.  And actually, he was physical as all-hell too, something I didn’t know he had in ‘im.  I bet a trade and some linemates would do amazing things for the guy.

And last, but not least….

87  SIDNEY CROSBY  (Pittsburgh)

Grade: A

 Sid scored the game-winning overtime goal in the gold medal game, so for that he gets a plus in all our hearts.  He was a constant threat, made his linemates better, and controlled the play down low whenever he got his mitts on the puck.  I think he only had about seven points on his teams thirty-some goals, but he did what he needed to do, once again.  It was the perfect stage for sid to grow his legend, and grow he did.  Funny, I wonder if anybody saw the stage was set and knew he’d cash in on it….

jtbourne – First sip of Molson Canadian went down like smooth deliciousness. I predict a positive Crosby highlight from today that we’ll see for years. sent 22 hours ago via mobile web

 So congratulations to Steve Yzerman, Mike Babcock, the players, and the fans in Canada on  job well done.  Mission accomplished guys.

HOW FUN WAS THAT?!?

Next Page »